Help me do illegal stuff!....and other nonsense

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile, I had a death in the family so I've had a very busy past week.

Illegal stuff 1

As I am ringing out a customer...

SC: Do you guys still mod systems?
Me: (For non-gamers, to "mod" a system means to alter it so that it can play illegally downloaded discs, a service that no major store would ever offer)
Me: We've never modded systems, to do allows them to play illegal software and we don't offer that service.
SC: Really? I thought you guys used to do that.
Me: I assure you sir we have NEVER done that.

Illegal stuff 2

SC: Yeah I need some help. I want to hook up an external hard drive to my PS3 so I can watch movies off it. I called Sony but they refused to help me with it.
(Note: Although this can technically be done, it will void a warranty and enable the user to watch illegally downloaded content on their PS3)
Me: Sorry I can't give you any information on that.
SC: Well can it be done?
Me: Yes, but I can't tell you anything beyond that.
SC: WHY NOT?? Sony wouldn't tell me anything either!
Me: Using an external drive would allow you to watch illegally downloaded movies on your system sir, that's why neither we nor Sony can help you with what you are trying to do.
SC: So how do I find out how to do it?
Me: You'd have to go online and research it yourself sir, we cannot help you with that here.

Illegal stuff 3

SC: Hey can you tell me how to hack my PSP?
Me: Excuse me?
SC: My buddy told me you can like reprogram a PSP and make it do all kinds of stuff. (Like the other stories here, what he's talking about IS possible, but it is not approved by Sony AND it can enable the use of illegally downloaded games)]
Me: Well your buddy was right about that but I can't give you any help on doing it.
SC: Why not man?
Me: Well because the modifications you are talking about violate the Warranty on the unit and also enable it to play illegally downloaded software.
SC: So...you can't help me?
Me: No sir.
SC: Do you know anybody who can?
Me: Even if I did know someone, I absolutely cannot refer you to hack a PSP.
SC: Ok then...*saunters off*

WTF????!

Around 7:45 PM one night a guy comes in and asks if I know where the nearest Adult Video store is. A few things to point out here:

1) I am NOT 411
2) I don't have any answer for him (I am new to my area)
3) IT'S A FREAKING GAMES STORE!!

Seriously, who walks into a games store to ask about something like that, I'm just totally baffled.

Former VRS customer?

Guy bought a used PS3 that had the memory card reader on it. As it turns out the piece of plastic that usually covers the reader was missing from this particular unit, but the guy didn't notice it until he got home. Note that this particular issue does not affect the performance of the system IN ANY WAY.

My manager took this call, not me, but I was standing beside him. It went something like this:

Guy:(explains above situation)...I can't believe you'd sell me a unit like that, I want a discount on this thing!
M: A discount?
Guy: What you are deaf? Yes, I want a damned discount!
M: I'm sorry sir, I can't give you a discount on something you've already paid for. If you bring it back I can give you a refund on it.
Guy: I want to keep it but I think you overcharged me for it. How about a $50 gift card instead of a discount? I'll take that.
M: I can't do that either sir. The missing piece you are talking about shouldn't affect the unit any. If it stops working you can bring it back here it should work fine.
Guy: That's bullshit. Don't you people check these damned things when you take them in?
M: We test them to make sure they play games and check for any major cosmetic damage, but that missing piece wouldn't have been reason not to take it in.
Guy: If I was running your store, I'd never have taken this piece of shit in. Do I get my gift card or not?
M: No sir, you already PAID for the item. All I can do is offer you a refund if you bring it back.
Guy: Aren't you people big on customer satisfaction?
M: Yes
Guy: Well I'm the customer and I'm NOT satisfied. I demand compensation!
M: Ok I'm going to go over this one more time sir. You bought a perfectly functioning unit from us that was missing a plastic cover piece. You've already PAID for the item. I can't give any discounts on something that's already been paid for. All I can do is offer you a refund.
Guy: That's unacceptable, what's your corporate number?
M: 1-888-GET-BENT (Note: NOT the real number )
Guy: I'm going to call them and raise hell. You'll be lucky if you still have a job after this is over! *click*


Shooting the messenger

This exchange happens all the time, so I'm just going to paraphrase a version of it:

SC: Why is this used game only $5 cheaper than the new one? God I might as well just spend the extra money and get a brand new copy.
Me: I understand sir, in some cases the cost of a game used is not that much less than the new version of the game.
SC: You know you should do something about that, if you want to sell more used games you should make them cheaper!
(Right because I have so much power over corporate pricing decisions...)
Me: I wish I could sir but our pricing is set by corporate, I can't do anything about it.
SC: That's such bullshit though, especially if you are only offering people like 25 bucks when they trade that game in, that's a pretty ridiculous markup. Don't you think that's unfair?
Me: Fair or not sir, our trade values and used pricing are dictated by corporate. I have no control over them whatosever.
SC: Well it's still a ripoff.

Grrrr....

If you ask me what I think of a game or if it's any good...

Do NOT get PISSY at me if I don't have an answer for you!

We sell 1000s of games, there's no way I could possibly play them all. When you factor in that new games come out all the time, it becomes quite obvious that at any given time I haven't played a bunch of the games we have in stock.

So if I haven't played the game you are waving in my face, then I am sorry, but you'll have to look elsewhere for an opinion. Also, telling me that I need to get more "Educated" about my products will get you nothing but an evil glare.

I hate giving opinions in general because I am sure I like games that other people think are crap and vice-versa, but I've accepted that dealing with such inquiries comes with the territory on this job.

A very popular service...that we DON'T PROVIDE!

1. No we DON'T FIX CONSOLES!
2. Only the manufacturers repair them officially, we can only refer you to them.
3. I don't really care what exorbitant amount they want to charge you to repair your out of warranty unit, I can't do anything for you.
4. No we can't tell you who ELSE fixes consoles. Even if my neighbor does it on the side for extra money, I can't tell you about him because that would be against policy.

I swear I get asked this question multiple times a day. We have NEVER provided this service and probably never will. Why oh why do people think we do? I just don't get it.

-------------------------------------------

Is it any wonder I'm so exhausted from my last few days of work?

[Andrew B.]

I'm going to make one point. People also modify a system so they can play imports which won't play on their system otherwise.

[taurinejunkie]

WTF????!

Around 7:45 PM one night a guy comes in and asks if I know where the nearest Adult Video store is. A few things to point out here:

1) I am NOT 411
2) I don't have any answer for him (I am new to my area)
3) IT'S A FREAKING GAMES STORE!!

Seriously, who walks into a games store to ask about something like that, I'm just totally baffled.

I AM 411 (O RLY? YA RLY), and even then I couldn't help this customer about "the nearest" whatever unless he gives me his current location and there's one on the same street or he knows the area a bit so he knows from street names which is the closest.

[Camry178]

Shooting the messenger

This exchange happens all the time, so I'm just going to paraphrase a version of it:

SC: Why is this used game only $5 cheaper than the new one? God I might as well just spend the extra money and get a brand new copy.
Me: I understand sir, in some cases the cost of a game used is not that much less than the new version of the game.
SC: You know you should do something about that, if you want to sell more used games you should make them cheaper!
(Right because I have so much power over corporate pricing decisions...)
Me: I wish I could sir but our pricing is set by corporate, I can't do anything about it.
SC: That's such bullshit though, especially if you are only offering people like 25 bucks when they trade that game in, that's a pretty ridiculous markup. Don't you think that's unfair?
Me: Fair or not sir, our trade values and used pricing are dictated by corporate. I have no control over them whatosever.
SC: Well it's still a ripoff.

I always wondered about this as well. I feel the same about it being a rip-off, but I keep it to myself and just go on and buy the new copy.

[edible_hat]

I'm going to make one point. People also modify a system so they can play imports which won't play on their system otherwise.

Under Australian law, this is why modchips are legal. It was even tested in court, and the defendant won (although he lost on the charges of selling pirated games). In short, if something has legal and illegal uses, buying/selling/owning it is legal. If you're caught using it for the illegal purpose, that's another thing entirely...

However, most stores don't sell modchips etc. anyway. Some sell mods that get around region coding but not anti-piracy coding. (Region coding was ruled to be legal but getting around it was also ruled legal on the grounds that you can do whatever you like to your own stuff, consoles included)

[Mister]

M: 1-888-GET-BENT (Note: NOT the real number )

Having that customer service number would be awesome, people never look at the letters anyway if you don't advertise the number as letters. Sadly, ours is just the company name.

[Rapscallion]

Seriously, who walks into a games store to ask about something like that,

Someone horny, I imagine.

Rapscallion

[Grog]

I ask in game stores for adult videos all the time, it's actually my hobby.

On a side-note, I really hate it when people try to haggle set prices in my store. Like I'm really going to be allowed to do that. Even if I was, I wouldn't do it for the sort of person who makes such a big deal out of it for a negligable price drop.

[Blade_Raver]

SC: Do you guys still mod systems?

No still about it. We don't. Plain and simple. It's illegal. Go find some other schmuck who wants to risk a lawsuit from the manufacturer and ask him. While you're at it, give me his number. I know a few big companies and GK's stalker that may want to speak to him.

SC: Yeah I need some help. I want to hook up an external hard drive to my PS3 so I can watch movies off it. I called Sony but they refused to help me with it.

Wow. Apparently you're on to something! Why would you think a company that makes the system would allow you to do something that could potentially infringe on copyrights and puts them at risk of being sued by the respective Motion Picture and Recording Industry Associations? Don't forget to show your work!

SC: Hey can you tell me how to hack my PSP?

(Stone cold face stare) No.

SC: My buddy told me you can like reprogram a PSP and make it do all kinds of stuff.

Why not ask your buddy then? Apparently he can afford a lawsuit by Sony. In fact, give me his phone number.. I bet Sony would love to speak to your buddy. Also, I know this hot woman from Canada who's a friend of a friend of mine who's lonely and would probably want to speak with him too. Or you'd do just fine. What's your number?

Around 7:45 PM one night a guy comes in and asks if I know where the nearest Adult Video store is.

The internet is for pr0n. Plain and simple. Begone!

Guy:I can't believe you'd sell me a unit like that, I want a discount on this thing!

You're funny. You already bought something and now you want part of your money back but still want to keep the product. Where do people like you live and what do you do for a living?

Guy: What you are deaf? Yes, I want a damned discount!

Yeah, I'm the deffest around! And no, you're not getting a discount regardless of your tone and how many expletives you use on this phone call. You can hand in the box and get all your money back or you can keep it and experience your childlike trauma of a piece of worthless plastic not being there... wounding your inner child.

Guy: I want to keep it but I think you overcharged me for it. How about a $50 gift card instead of a discount? I'll take that.

If you think I overcharged you for it. Return it and go buy it somewhere else. An insignificant and harmless plastic piece by itself isn't worth $50, much less your business after dealing with you today. How about you bring back the box and I'll give you a $(insert value of refund) gift card that you can use towards your next purchase? It's a steal of a deal!

Guy: If I was running your store, I'd never have taken this piece of shit in. Do I get my gift card or not?

And if you were running this store, I wouldn't want to work for you or do business with you because you're a conniving bastard. (Insert soup nazi voice) No discount for you! Keep this up and you lose your refund option too.

Guy: Aren't you people big on customer satisfaction?
Guy: Well I'm the customer and I'm NOT satisfied. I demand compensation!

A purchased product with refusal to return for a refund is a satisfied customer. You probably won't come back again unless we've got something free to give out anyways. This call is wasting valuable money as I could be lending my time to paying customers unlike you at this very moment. I demand compensation too! Buy something!

Guy: That's unacceptable, what's your corporate number?

Unacceptable is a relative term. Corporate thinks everything we're doing here is completely acceptable and by the book. You not looking at our website and getting the number yourself is unacceptable to us. You're also too lazy to return the machine for a refund. That's also unacceptable. What's your superior's phone number?

Guy: I'm going to call them and raise hell. You'll be lucky if you still have a job after this is over! *click*

Pack a lunch. Bring lots of ice with you. Good luck. Don't let the door hit you where your creator split you!

SC: Why is this used game only $5 cheaper than the new one? God I might as well just spend the extra money and get a brand new copy.

The marketing geniuses at corporate and their (in?)finite wisdom.

SC: You know you should do something about that, if you want to sell more used games you should make them cheaper!

I am doing something about it. I'm selling it. Look at all the people buying the product! Supply and demand. Corporate controls it, not me. Isn't capitalism grand?

SC: That's such bullshit though, especially if you are only offering people like 25 bucks when they trade that game in, that's a pretty ridiculous markup. Don't you think that's unfair?

$25 for a returned game is very generous! I remember back in the '90s when I was trading games at the local trade shows and I was only getting back $5-7 a pop! Then again, it doesn't matter what I think. I only work here.

If you ask me what I think of a game or if it's any good...

When I worked at CompUSA I used to get this all the time. My answer is: Sir, there's one of me.. countless numbers of games.. my limited paycheck... and only 24 hours in the day. I sleep 8 of them. I work 8 of them. That only leaves 8 left to do all other necessary functions. Do you honestly think I have the time and money to play all of these games? You can get reviews for free at certain gamer magazine's websites. Go there and learn. Otherwise it's buy at your own risk. By the way, 90% of anything Square/ENIX produces is fantastic. You couldn't go wrong there.

As far as them asking if you repair consoles, I'd tell em "Sure, we can fix your console problem by selling you a console. Or you can buy our fictitious repair service which is going to be the price of a new console plus an additional $50 diagnostic fee. Your choice.

You've got a lot of stuff on there that I had to give some epic replies to. If this post looks messy, I apologize.

[Bramblerose]

that's a pretty ridiculous markup. Don't you think that's unfair?

Answer #1) Only if you like looking for games in the dark because we couldn't pay the electric

or

2) Go look up Captialism.

[Hyndis]

I'm going to make one point. People also modify a system so they can play imports which won't play on their system otherwise.

Region encoding is teh suck.

There's even an interesting note from one of the recent gaming conventions that region encoding might actually be encouraging piracy.

If a product isn't even available in a region, yet its a well known and highly popular product in another region, people will pirate it rather than wait the months or even years before it finally comes to market in that region.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

I understand the region encoding and heck even I agree that its stupid and silly, why deprive people of the opportunity to enjoy your product? However, my personal opinions aren't always in line with company policy and when dealing with customers, I have to stick with policy.

Heck even I don't agree with the used game pricing, I've never figured out the reasoning behind it in all the time I've worked here. I wish someone from corporate would enlighten us. They've been doing the pricing that way for years, I guess they seem to think it works.

[Ghengis51]

Illegal stuff 3

SC: Hey can you tell me how to hack my PSP?
Me: Excuse me?
SC: My buddy told me you can like reprogram a PSP and make it do all kinds of stuff. (Like the other stories here, what he's talking about IS possible, but it is not approved by Sony AND it can enable the use of illegally downloaded games)]
Me: Well your buddy was right about that but I can't give you any help on doing it.
SC: Why not man?
Me: Well because the modifications you are talking about violate the Warranty on the unit and also enable it to play illegally downloaded software.
SC: So...you can't help me?
Me: No sir.
SC: Do you know anybody who can?
Me: Even if I did know someone, I absolutely cannot refer you to hack a PSP.
SC: Ok then...*saunters off*

I bought my PSP from a Gamestop down in Virginia. One of the points the guy told me about that sold me on it was that you could load PS games on a memory card and play them on it. When I read through all the manuals but couldn't figure it out so I looked online. Imagine my surprise when I find out that while it's technically possible, it requires you to switch the operating system and most likely violates several Sony policies.

[Geek King]

Imagine my surprise when I find out that while it's technically possible, it requires you to switch the operating system and most likely violates several Sony policies.

Well, sure...but it really isn't much harder than flashing any other kind of ROM. I'm kinda looking for a spare PSP to play around with, since I actually play games on mine. But then, I fully acknowledge that if I hose it up, I've flushed my cash down the drain. I really want to try it now that I have a pair of 4GB memory chips I picked up cheap to play with.

[Kagato]

Imagine my surprise when I find out that while it's technically possible, it requires you to switch the operating system and most likely violates several Sony policies.

As far as I have heard, you can actually "purchase" select PSX games from the online playstation store, download them onto a Sony Memory Stick and play them on your PSP, however the range available is VERY limited at the current point in time, due to hardware limitations (I still want them to remake Final Fantasy 7 for the PSP though...)