"I'll tell you how to fix that door of yours!"

[CrazedClerk]

Our front door at work has been malfunctioning for awhile now, basically it doesn't close all the way. It'll stop a foot short and you have to pull it the rest of the way to get it closed.

Anyway this kid (late teens) comes in today with a man who I think was his father or uncle. As the kid browses for games, the older man, who apparently noticed the issue with the door, walked over to my manager on the store floor and told him something like: "you know I used to work with doors like that and here's how I think you can fix that."

He proceeds to explain, in quite a bit of detail, how the door should be fixed. I'm behind the counter at the time and I made the mistake of saying to him "we tried that and it didn't work" (which was true). So he saunters over to where I am and spends more than FIVE MINUTES standing at my counter explaining to me how to fix the door (meanwhile I am trying to busy myself with ANYTHING so the guy will get the hint and leave me alone).

Eventually the younger kid bought a game and they both left, but my manager and I gave each other a "wtf?" look after. I know the guy was just trying to be nice and all, but really, the door is functional and it's pretty low on the priority list.

I hate people who think they are "Experts" and can tell you how fix whatever is around that's broken.

[Becks]

I'm surprised that he didn't fix it for you, then.

[Sofar]

Someone told me the same thing today. "I can fix that door for you, if you want." Thing is, our door isn't broken. You see, it's a very strange door. On it, a little less than halfway up on the right side, there is a polished brass globe with little curly-cues engraved in it that we like to call a knob. Turning this knob with your hand, to the left or the right, will release our state-o'-the-art door-opening mechanism. That's right, to open our door you actually have to turn a knob, and every day people run into it, push on it, pull on the knob expectantly, and generally have an unrealistic ammount of difficulty in opening it, despite the dozens of similar doors they've successfully opened earlier that morning. We even put up a sign. "To open the door, turn the knob, and pull." I know most businesses have unlatched doors, but seriously. It's a door.

I refuse to tape the latch in. That would be giving up my hope for humanity.

[jb17kx]

I refuse to tape the latch in. That would be giving up my hope for humanity.

That's right. Don't cave!

[Demonoid Phenomenon]

Don't touch that dial! Or anything else for that matter...

Yes, God, those inconvenient door knobs. What a nuisance! All that turning and what not! Should be a law!

Geez, before long we'll lose all of our motor skills because everything will be wireless, automatic, and hands-free.
Even our bodily functions will be on voice command.

"Colon release!"
WHOOSH!

[AFpheonix]

Go go gadget butt!

[Demonoid Phenomenon]

AFpheonix...dang it!
I should have thought of that!

God, now I'm having terrible images of Matthew Broderick.

[karma_gypsy]

We even put up a sign. "To open the door, turn the knob, and pull."

And I bet not everyone reads the sign and still has difficulties opening the door!! Reminds me of an image I once saw . . .



Midvale School for the Gifted


By the Farside, some of you will probably recognize it . . .

[Becks]

Midvale School for the Gifted


By the Farside, some of you will probably recognize it . . .

My sister had the t-shirt. On the side, it had an extra picture of the boy BEATING on the door.

[repsac]

Funniest incident I think I've ever witnessed with a door was in a tobacconist I used to frequent. (I have a rather extensive collection of rare cigars.)

The door had a knob, yes, but it was in a strange location. Specifically, the knob was in the CENTER of the door. You would be suprised how many people would spend a good several minutes pawing at one side or the other of the door, looking for the knob. Some would try pulling on the dead bolt, stepping back to look for a pressure pad, and then looking at the thing strangely.

To quote Jeff Foxworthy: Looking at it like a monkey doing a math problem.

[Spiffy McMoron]

I refuse to tape the latch in. That would be giving up my hope for humanity.

Plus, as an added bonus, you get to see people running into a door all day.

[Sofar]

Specifically, the knob was in the CENTER of the door.

I've seen those, it's something that must have seemed like a really good idea in 1961.

[moekosowl]

I've seen those, it's something that must have seemed like a really good idea in 1961.

Or if you're a hobbit.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Plus, as an added bonus, you get to see people running into a door all day.

And that's under the category of Employer-Provided Entertainment, which isn't mentioned (as a general rule) in their employee manuals.

[Lehk]

IIRC on new buildings knobs are an ADA violation you have to use push or twist handles instead.