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I used to never work Sundays. Now I guess I have to work Sundays to keep my hours.
Dear Customers:
Just because we are running a Buy-One-Get-One Free special on many furniture items does not mean we've changed the way the furniture pull tags work. You still bring up one tag for each item you want. You don't take one tag and tell the cashier "I wants 6 of these, hyuk hyuk hyuk!" That makes extra work for me to keep the pull tags accurate, and that makes me stabby.
Dear Cashiers:
Just because we are running a Buy-One-Get-One Free special on many furniture items does not mean we've changed the way you ring these items up. If the customer is buying these items, you ring up 2, 4, or however many they want, even though they aren't going to pay for them all. You don't ring up just one item even though the customer is buying two, and say "It's buy one get one so what's the difference?" That screws up on-hands. That makes me stabby. Doubly so since I went over this with you the last time we had a BOGO sale in furniture.
And yes, you ring up all the items even if the customer gets pissed off and tells you "Why am I being charged for two? It's buy one get one free!" The total adjusts at the end and the customer is only charged for one. You know this. Just because the customer insists on being an idiot doesn't mean you have to join them.
Dear LP and/or management:
As you are well aware, we had a snow, sleet and ice storm Thursday night. The plows came by to clean up the parking lot and the docks Friday morning and piled plenty of snow in front of the emergency exits, as usual.
I thought you would've had somebody shovel out the emergency exits Friday. Especially since you can't seem to wait to send me out there with the snow shovel every time it snows, so that the emergency exits aren't being held shut by a wall of snow.
But no, you had a brilliant idea instead. Why not ignore the emergency exits for two days of near record-cold temperatures, so that the snow has frozen into a solid wall of ice, and then send me outside today to clear them out? How clever of you. I wish I thought of that myself.
It took me over an hour to get those two exits cleared. My sore back thanks you.
Seriously, how could you simpletons go two days without noticing this? Didn't the opening managers drive around the store and make a note of that, as they're supposed to? I'm going to say no on that one. They just park and hustle their butts into the store.
What would you have done if the fire department, which is right down the street, did a surprise inspection and found the emergency exits were inoperable because there was a waist-deep wall of snow in front of each door, blocking it from opening?
Dear Co-workers:
Thank you very much for helping me out and helping a customer on an outside call for furniture while I was swamped with carryouts.
What, you didn't help a customer on an outside call for furniture, you say? I know. I was being sarcastic. Instead, you waited to answer until the service desk had paged for furniture 6 times, and then answered the phone and listened to the caller ask you if we had a certain futon in stock.
Then, instead of checking yourself for the damn thing, you put the caller back on hold, tracked me down, and told me "There's somebody on the phone wanting to know if we have this futon in stock, pick up the call on (extension) when you know."
I had ever so much fun being bitched at by the caller because you couldn't be bothered to toddle your ass to backstock and look for the futon yourself. At least that way the customer would know you were trying to help him instead of feeling he was just being passed off to somebody else. My ringing ear and twitching clenched fist thank you for this.
If you ever need anything in the future, please hesitate to ask.
Dear bananas on the kitchen counter:
Please start to ripen already. You're only useful as blunt force trauma weapons and not as foodstuffs....Say, this gives me an idea.
Dear Customers:
Just because we are running a Buy-One-Get-One Free special on many furniture items does not mean we've changed the way the furniture pull tags work. You still bring up one tag for each item you want. You don't take one tag and tell the cashier "I wants 6 of these, hyuk hyuk hyuk!" That makes extra work for me to keep the pull tags accurate, and that makes me stabby.
Dear Cashiers:
Just because we are running a Buy-One-Get-One Free special on many furniture items does not mean we've changed the way you ring these items up. If the customer is buying these items, you ring up 2, 4, or however many they want, even though they aren't going to pay for them all. You don't ring up just one item even though the customer is buying two, and say "It's buy one get one so what's the difference?" That screws up on-hands. That makes me stabby. Doubly so since I went over this with you the last time we had a BOGO sale in furniture.
And yes, you ring up all the items even if the customer gets pissed off and tells you "Why am I being charged for two? It's buy one get one free!" The total adjusts at the end and the customer is only charged for one. You know this. Just because the customer insists on being an idiot doesn't mean you have to join them.
Dear LP and/or management:
As you are well aware, we had a snow, sleet and ice storm Thursday night. The plows came by to clean up the parking lot and the docks Friday morning and piled plenty of snow in front of the emergency exits, as usual.
I thought you would've had somebody shovel out the emergency exits Friday. Especially since you can't seem to wait to send me out there with the snow shovel every time it snows, so that the emergency exits aren't being held shut by a wall of snow.
But no, you had a brilliant idea instead. Why not ignore the emergency exits for two days of near record-cold temperatures, so that the snow has frozen into a solid wall of ice, and then send me outside today to clear them out? How clever of you. I wish I thought of that myself.
It took me over an hour to get those two exits cleared. My sore back thanks you.
Seriously, how could you simpletons go two days without noticing this? Didn't the opening managers drive around the store and make a note of that, as they're supposed to? I'm going to say no on that one. They just park and hustle their butts into the store.
What would you have done if the fire department, which is right down the street, did a surprise inspection and found the emergency exits were inoperable because there was a waist-deep wall of snow in front of each door, blocking it from opening?
Dear Co-workers:
Thank you very much for helping me out and helping a customer on an outside call for furniture while I was swamped with carryouts.
What, you didn't help a customer on an outside call for furniture, you say? I know. I was being sarcastic. Instead, you waited to answer until the service desk had paged for furniture 6 times, and then answered the phone and listened to the caller ask you if we had a certain futon in stock.
Then, instead of checking yourself for the damn thing, you put the caller back on hold, tracked me down, and told me "There's somebody on the phone wanting to know if we have this futon in stock, pick up the call on (extension) when you know."
I had ever so much fun being bitched at by the caller because you couldn't be bothered to toddle your ass to backstock and look for the futon yourself. At least that way the customer would know you were trying to help him instead of feeling he was just being passed off to somebody else. My ringing ear and twitching clenched fist thank you for this.
If you ever need anything in the future, please hesitate to ask.
Dear bananas on the kitchen counter:
Please start to ripen already. You're only useful as blunt force trauma weapons and not as foodstuffs....Say, this gives me an idea.
They see that you hate the SC's and they are trying to help you, to be away from them.
I don't know what the floor people were up to that was so much more important.
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