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  • The Fake Manager

    We were quite busy, so none of the staff noticed this. A lady stormed up to the bar.

    SC: Can I speak to a manager please!?

    We didn't hear her. But a random drunk did! He was stood at the bar, drinking a cocktail jug to himself.

    Drunk Customer: I'm the manager!
    SC: You are?!? Oh good! Well...

    She then went into a full on rant about how there was no more toilet paper left in one of the cubicles in the ladies. Apparently she found it disgusting and appauling and asked him what he was going to do about it...

    Remember, she is talking to a random drunk! He was drinking straight out of a pitcher and was laughing at her. And like I said, we were not aware this was going on, until this happened.

    SC: I ASKED YOU A QUESTION! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT???
    DC: Fuck all love! I don't give a shit!

    He walked off laughing. My boss went over.

    Boss: Ma'am, are you OK?
    SC: HOW DARE HE SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT! WHAT KIND OF MANAGER IS HE???
    Boss: Manager? I'm sorry, I'm a little confused.
    SC: YOUR MANAGER! DID YOU HEAR WHAT HE SAID??
    Boss: What? He's not the manager! I am!
    SC: NO! HE SAID HE WAS THE MANAGER!
    Boss: I have never seen him before in my life. I am the manager.
    SC: HE SAID HE WAS THE MANAGER!
    Boss: Well he must have lied. Are you OK?
    SC: WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?!?! I WANT TO COMPLAIN BUT EVERYONE KEEPS LYING TO ME!
    Boss: OK Ma'am, once you figure out who you want to complain to, I'll be over there.

    She returned a few minutes later, and was a bit calmer.

    Boss: Now how can I help you?
    SC: I just think it's disgusting the way that manager spoke to me...
    Boss: Ma'am, he was not a manager. He was obviously pulling your leg.
    SC: Why would someone lie about something like that?
    Boss: I don't know. What did you want to speak to me about before he got involved?
    SC: Well, I was going to point out that there was no more toilet paper in the ladies, but now I want to complain about that manager!
    Boss: He is not a manager! I will send someone up to the ladies about the toilet paper, but what happened with that man is not my fault. Now, if you don't mind, I am busy.

    A co-worker went up to the ladies to refill the toilet paper. She returned, very annoyed.

    CW: What is she talking about??? There's tonnes of spare toilet rolls in ALL the cubicles!!

    It was just hilarious because the customer that claimed he was the manager could not have looked any less like a manager if he tried. He was scruffy, smelled, and was extremelly drunk!

  • #2
    Methinks the lady was a lil pickled herself.
    Now would be a good time to visit So Very Unofficial!

    "I've had so many nasty customers this week, my bottomless pit is now ankle-deep."-Me.

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    • #3
      Somebody better check the janitor's closet, stat!
      I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
      Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
      Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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      • #4
        You were kind of quiet for a while, I started worrying that your new bar was so nice we'd miss out on some stories. Good thing your patrons didn't disappoint
        A lion however, will only devour your corpse, whereas an SC is not sated until they have destroyed your soul. (Quote per infinitemonkies)

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        • #5
          Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
          It was just hilarious because the customer that claimed he was the manager could not have looked any less like a manager if he tried. He was scruffy, smelled, and was extremelly drunk!
          your describing most of the members on this site you know... it could have been one in disguise! *ducks*
          I wasnt put on this earth to make you feel like a man ~ Mary Bertone

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          • #6
            Maybe she was in the men's bathroom?? Ewwwwww!
            "Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your software."

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            • #7
              I want to buy that drunk guy a pitcher now.

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              • #8
                and it sounds like the boss/manager is a cool one

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                • #9
                  are you sure she was a woman? Might have been the men's bathroom

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                  • #10
                    Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
                    SC: I ASKED YOU A QUESTION! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT???
                    DC: Fuck all love! I don't give a shit!
                    I laughed more than I should have done at this. I'm a bad, bad Rapscallion.

                    Spankings?

                    Rapscallion

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                    • #11
                      That made my day.

                      /spank Raps
                      (Just cause you asked for it.)

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Kiwi View Post
                        your describing most of the members on this site you know... it could have been one in disguise! *ducks*
                        Hey! I resemble that remark!

                        (I'm not really a random drunk, more of an arbitrary one)

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                        • #13
                          this could only be funnyer it he had talked the ladie down.
                          I am not really important enough to have a funny quote yet.

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                          • #14
                            A spanking! A spanking!

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                            • #15
                              Gee, maybe I should drink while I work. Might lend more of an authority glow to my job and people will trust me better when i'm sloshed.

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