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and i am seriously bad at math. 
ANYWAY
one from a coworker:
little old lady comes up, buys like $7 of stuff, pulls out a $100 bill. Dangles it in front of my coworker, giggles a bit, goes “ooh, hehehehe, look what you get to do.” referring to make an assload of change, of course.
bitch.
the mumbler
guy the other night is mumbling everything he says, so I keep saying, “sorry?” “could you repeat that, sir?” etc. He gives me $7 or something, then pulls out a bunch of change for the 13 cents or whatever it is he owes me. He finally gets the right amount of change, and mumbles something at me. So as I pick up the change, I say something like, “I'm sorry sir, I didn't hear you?”
he yells, “TAKE IT, I SAID. damn, you're not hearing a word i'm saying, are you?” (YELLS.)
three cashiers and their assorted customers turned around to see what this douche was yelling about. I recovered from my shock quite quickly and gave him a dirty look with his receipt. my manager (who was RIGHT THERE, bagging for me) told me not to worry.
maybe it's just me, but don't you think that if the cashier has to ask you multiple times to repeat yourself, you should maybe, I dunno, SPEAK UP instead of getting angry?
i'm tired, so sue me
I yawned the other day. i'd been working five hours after having three classes, no lunch, and no sleep the night before. not to mention I've been having this issue lately, where I'm tired all the time. I was Fucking Tired. So I yawned, waiting for customers (we were dead at the time) and just my luck, this guy comes up lugging a colossal carton of beer.
“Wake up!”
he was trying to joke, which makes it worse, somehow.
what I wanted to say: “I'm so sorry that my lack of sleep and busy day combined with low blood sugar and mysterious lethargy made me tired. I'll just perk the hell up for you at nine-thirty at night so I can happily take twenty dollars of your hard-earned money and so you can go home and get drunk without having the blemish of a tired cashier on your day. BITE ME.”
what I said: “...” *scans* “will that be credit or debit.”
oh, for the love of god
new record. lady and her son come in, wander aimlessly for a bit, come to my register and pick out some gum. their purchase: three packs of gum. total: 2.07. TWO OH SEVEN. so what does this lady hand me?
if you guessed a hundred, you are depressingly correct.
to make it even better, it was maybe a half hour after my shift started. her change was 97.93. it was divided into 1 twenty, several tens, several more fives, two singles, and appropriate change. so when she left I had some singles, two fives, and a ben fucking franklin in my drawer. AWESOME. I so love having to go request large amounts of change.
put the phone down, dammit
guy answers his cell phone just as he comes up to my lane. in a mischeivous mood, I decided to see if I could annoy him as much as he annoyed me.
me: hi! how are you this evening?
guy: good. hey bill, what are your plans for monday the sixteenth?
me: that's good. would you like paper or plastic bags?
guy: whatever. *to his friend* so do you wanna go to lunch or something that day? blah blah blah
me: and would you like your milk and orange juice in bags?
guy: no. *continues on the phone*
and so on, until he gave me sort of a dirty look when I told him to have a wonderful day.
the next guy that came up opened with “isn't it SO annoying when people talk on their phones in line? like, how rude can you be?”
*jawdrop* someone who gets it! I shared my plan with him and we had a good laugh.
and i'm vegetarian T_T
My store has bags for meat. you know, like the vegetable bags, only by the meat section. yeah. so that in case a package of meat is leaking out the bottom, as is often the case, it stays in the bag and not on the customer's hands, the cashiers' hands, the rest of the customer's groceries, our belts, etc.
NO ONE USES THEM. it's so disgusting to pick up a package of chicken and not only see the gigantic red-tinged wet spot on the belt beneath it, but to also see it dripping from the package and smeared all over your hands. I can practically FEEL the salmonella crawling through my skin.
so please, save a vegetarian's sanity. use the bags. dammit.
are you this much of a bitch to everyone, or am i special?
and now for annoying people of the night.
couple of trailer-trash stereotypes come up, grumpy from the start. I say, “Hi! how are you doing tonight?” all happy cos I just got off my break, and they go “unghh.” I say, “Would you like paper or plastic bags?” they say “dun't care.” undeterred, I ask, “Would you like your milk in a bag?” they say, “unh, no, don' bother.”
well alright then.
so fast forward, I had given up talking to these idiots, until I finish scanning and hit the total button.
me: Your total is $xxx.xx. will that be debit or credit?
guy: *grunts* EBT.
Me: ok.
register: VERIFY BALANCES RANDOM ERROR CODE
Me: um, it looks like you only have $25.29 on your EBT account.
lady: *with a sudden spring into the land of the living* Um, no, more like $200!
guy: this same thing happened last night! it said we didn't have any money on the card, so we tried on a different machine, and *blah blah ranty blah*
lady: so we called and they said we had over $200.
me: *at this point is on the phone trying to find supervisor J, missing in action* Well, it says you only have $25, so--
lady: it's *EBT*, not cash benefits.
me: ok, ok, try it again. maybe I hit the wrong button by mistake.
not a chance. same thing came up.
both of them: *rant rant rant*
me: hey, (sup R)? c'mere, we have a problem *explains*
R: well, if it's not going through, it's not going through. there's really nothing I can do, unless you want me to call it in...?
lady: no, don't bother. you reshelved $100 of groceries last night, you'll be reshopping $100 of groceries tonight. *storms away with her husband*
me and R:
don't blame us, it's not our damn fault.
best part: if they come back in tomorrow (and if there is any sort of higher being, they won't) i'll be there.
allllll afternoon.
help me~~~....
ANYWAY
one from a coworker:
little old lady comes up, buys like $7 of stuff, pulls out a $100 bill. Dangles it in front of my coworker, giggles a bit, goes “ooh, hehehehe, look what you get to do.” referring to make an assload of change, of course.
bitch.
the mumbler
guy the other night is mumbling everything he says, so I keep saying, “sorry?” “could you repeat that, sir?” etc. He gives me $7 or something, then pulls out a bunch of change for the 13 cents or whatever it is he owes me. He finally gets the right amount of change, and mumbles something at me. So as I pick up the change, I say something like, “I'm sorry sir, I didn't hear you?”
he yells, “TAKE IT, I SAID. damn, you're not hearing a word i'm saying, are you?” (YELLS.)
three cashiers and their assorted customers turned around to see what this douche was yelling about. I recovered from my shock quite quickly and gave him a dirty look with his receipt. my manager (who was RIGHT THERE, bagging for me) told me not to worry.
maybe it's just me, but don't you think that if the cashier has to ask you multiple times to repeat yourself, you should maybe, I dunno, SPEAK UP instead of getting angry?
i'm tired, so sue me
I yawned the other day. i'd been working five hours after having three classes, no lunch, and no sleep the night before. not to mention I've been having this issue lately, where I'm tired all the time. I was Fucking Tired. So I yawned, waiting for customers (we were dead at the time) and just my luck, this guy comes up lugging a colossal carton of beer.
“Wake up!”
he was trying to joke, which makes it worse, somehow.
what I wanted to say: “I'm so sorry that my lack of sleep and busy day combined with low blood sugar and mysterious lethargy made me tired. I'll just perk the hell up for you at nine-thirty at night so I can happily take twenty dollars of your hard-earned money and so you can go home and get drunk without having the blemish of a tired cashier on your day. BITE ME.”
what I said: “...” *scans* “will that be credit or debit.”
oh, for the love of god
new record. lady and her son come in, wander aimlessly for a bit, come to my register and pick out some gum. their purchase: three packs of gum. total: 2.07. TWO OH SEVEN. so what does this lady hand me?
if you guessed a hundred, you are depressingly correct.
to make it even better, it was maybe a half hour after my shift started. her change was 97.93. it was divided into 1 twenty, several tens, several more fives, two singles, and appropriate change. so when she left I had some singles, two fives, and a ben fucking franklin in my drawer. AWESOME. I so love having to go request large amounts of change.
put the phone down, dammit
guy answers his cell phone just as he comes up to my lane. in a mischeivous mood, I decided to see if I could annoy him as much as he annoyed me.
me: hi! how are you this evening?
guy: good. hey bill, what are your plans for monday the sixteenth?
me: that's good. would you like paper or plastic bags?
guy: whatever. *to his friend* so do you wanna go to lunch or something that day? blah blah blah
me: and would you like your milk and orange juice in bags?
guy: no. *continues on the phone*
and so on, until he gave me sort of a dirty look when I told him to have a wonderful day.
the next guy that came up opened with “isn't it SO annoying when people talk on their phones in line? like, how rude can you be?”
*jawdrop* someone who gets it! I shared my plan with him and we had a good laugh.
and i'm vegetarian T_T
My store has bags for meat. you know, like the vegetable bags, only by the meat section. yeah. so that in case a package of meat is leaking out the bottom, as is often the case, it stays in the bag and not on the customer's hands, the cashiers' hands, the rest of the customer's groceries, our belts, etc.
NO ONE USES THEM. it's so disgusting to pick up a package of chicken and not only see the gigantic red-tinged wet spot on the belt beneath it, but to also see it dripping from the package and smeared all over your hands. I can practically FEEL the salmonella crawling through my skin.
so please, save a vegetarian's sanity. use the bags. dammit.
are you this much of a bitch to everyone, or am i special?
and now for annoying people of the night.
couple of trailer-trash stereotypes come up, grumpy from the start. I say, “Hi! how are you doing tonight?” all happy cos I just got off my break, and they go “unghh.” I say, “Would you like paper or plastic bags?” they say “dun't care.” undeterred, I ask, “Would you like your milk in a bag?” they say, “unh, no, don' bother.”
well alright then.
so fast forward, I had given up talking to these idiots, until I finish scanning and hit the total button.
me: Your total is $xxx.xx. will that be debit or credit?
guy: *grunts* EBT.
Me: ok.
register: VERIFY BALANCES RANDOM ERROR CODE
Me: um, it looks like you only have $25.29 on your EBT account.
lady: *with a sudden spring into the land of the living* Um, no, more like $200!
guy: this same thing happened last night! it said we didn't have any money on the card, so we tried on a different machine, and *blah blah ranty blah*
lady: so we called and they said we had over $200.
me: *at this point is on the phone trying to find supervisor J, missing in action* Well, it says you only have $25, so--
lady: it's *EBT*, not cash benefits.
me: ok, ok, try it again. maybe I hit the wrong button by mistake.
not a chance. same thing came up.
both of them: *rant rant rant*
me: hey, (sup R)? c'mere, we have a problem *explains*
R: well, if it's not going through, it's not going through. there's really nothing I can do, unless you want me to call it in...?
lady: no, don't bother. you reshelved $100 of groceries last night, you'll be reshopping $100 of groceries tonight. *storms away with her husband*
me and R:
don't blame us, it's not our damn fault.best part: if they come back in tomorrow (and if there is any sort of higher being, they won't) i'll be there.
allllll afternoon.help me~~~....
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