Can't dumb it down any further

[laundryhater]

My co-worker just shared this gem with me.

First a little background: We work at the telephone switchboard at a hospital and part of our job is to look up patient room numbers.

On with the tidbit:

Co-worker: ________ Hospital, how may I direct your call?

Caller: Mary Smith's room (name changed)

Co-worker: I'm sorry, we do not have a patient by that name here.

Caller: What?

Co-worker: (louder thinking caller is hard of hearing): I'm sorry, we do not have a patient by that name here.

Caller: What does that mean?

Epic fail to comprehend easy english words. We could not think of any easier way to say it other than maybe: Me Tarzan, you Jane. Mary not here.

[JLRodgers]

I've had similar conversations before... one time with a relative I actually dumbed it down so much that they got mad at me for implying their an idiot (them: "give me pop", me: "we don't have any", them: "what do you mean we don't have any?", me: "you drank the last one", "what do you mean I drank the last one" -- I got annoyed and went into great detail implying the stupidity of the relative by duming it down.)

Sadly when talking to a customer.... you can't do that. But I've had many similar conversations, and it all leads me to wanting to strangle them. Seriously... what part of "don't have any" or "not here" do you not understand? It's 2-4 words, most involve what you said.... like "Do you have any pizza", "we don't have any pizza" only one word is really different -- 'not'.... I believe they expect by asking "what do you mean...." they expect the item to magically appear ---- or they don't understand contractions... so apparently they're an android....

[Imogene]

or they don't understand contractions... so apparently they're an android....

Hey, Data could understand contractions, he just could not use them.

[JLRodgers]

Hey, Data could understand contractions, he just could not use them.

Oh yeah... my brain wasn't firing right when I posted that

[mharbourgirl]

Oh yeah... my brain wasn't firing right when I posted that

Tsk tsk.

Your geek cred has just dropped 10 points.

What DO they teach them at schools these days?