"You're Outta White Milk", "What's 'Earth Friendly' Mean?", "Wild Thing!", and More!

[ralerin]

Hello all from Aid of Rite! (Maybe I should start adding a disclaimer where I work to my sig, the fuck trout line that's there is starting to lose its appeal). I hope your St. Patrick's Days were/are nice. (I can't celebrate this year, I'm only a few months shy of being able to ). Today, I bring you several small gems.

Dear Customer

I understand that you have Tourette's and possibly another mental condition and have an affinity for alcohol and you can be very much a good and kind guy. But please, if you could kindly organize your money into one place before you dump everything over my counter, including loose tobacco, half smoked cigarettes and hair clippings, I'd appreciate it. What happened to your wallet you had before? Oh, you lost it? I'm so sorry. Yes, keys have no value in buying you alcohol, and you need those to get into your apartment, dear. But thank you for brushing all the loose junk off onto the rug on your side instead of mine before you left, I highly appreciate it.

Also, Dear Customers in Line: Do NOT give me the stink eye when I crack out the lysol wipes and furiously scrub my counter. You saw what it had all over it and I don't feel like touching that counter until it's been good and cleaned.

"What's Earth Friendly Mean?"

Lady, about 60 ish years old comes up buying a packet of the "green" Scotts flushable wipes and wants a substitution from the store brand, I call up the manager and he approves it. Lady looks at the packaging and is a bit confused as to what all this "green" talk is. I tell her it means it's more earth friendly.

"Well, what's that?"

"Pardon?"

"That word you just said. Earth-friendly. What's it mean?"

"...That it's kinder to the earth? Made of recyclable materials?"

"Oh...and it comes apart in the toilet like toilet paper."

"...Yeah."

"Tsk, in my day we grew up fine without any of that fancy stuff!"

"You're Outta White Milk"

Man comes up to me and says, "You're outta white milk" minutes before I pull my register for the night. As I'm going out from behind my register to check, I ask, "White milk? What kind?"

"White milk!" he says.

"Whole milk, skim, 1%, 2%?"

"WHITE MILK."

"I know, but what kind and what size?"

"WHITE MILK!!!!!"

I'm at the cooler and lo and behold, we're stocked with half gallons of whole, skim, 1%, 2% and gallons of everything but the whole milk.

"What kind of milk?" I ask again. "You mean WHOLE milk?"

"Yes! White milk! If you don't have any, I'll go to the next store over."

"...Sir, all the milk we have is white."

"WHOLE milk, then."

I go into the back and check and we have no gallons of whole milk. I tell him this, he apologizes and leaves.

"What's The Best For Hair Removal?"

This is the same girl from my other thread about the hydrogen peroxide, only today she brought her mother. Please, dear, listen to me if I try to explain that what works for me may not for you. Don't keep asking me questions about the product in your hand when it's one I haven't used myself. The same goes for shampoo. And no, I cannot leave the register to show you what is best when there is a line of 15 people forming behind you. I'm just a glorified cashier and stock person. I'm not an expert.

"You Make Me..."

Just had a drunken St. Pat's reveler come in, singing random songs and making no sense whatsoever. He also found the windchimes tucked in the corner and his face was classic. He was like a monkey with a coconut, or a baby given a new shiny. We had him banging out in the chimes for a few minutes before his buddy finished his purchase. Then Reveler goes up to male coworker, singing and half chatting to himself and saying, "Oh, I can never be on American Idol but I can still sing! You make my heart sing, you make everything groovy..." I'm facepalming for Reveler.

And that's it.

[lordlundar]

"Tsk, in my day we grew up fine without any of that fancy stuff!"

Well thank you for admitting ruining the planet for future generations. Anything else you'd like to pollute?

[NightWatch]

Nothing fancy like that huh? But you had wonderful, fantastic asbestos. Can you say Mesothelioma? It'll freakin kill you lady.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Another classic example of why one shouldn't drink anything while browsing this forum...

I was expecting the milk guy to launch into a rant about how racist the store is because they're out of WHITE milk. Come to think of it, someone would have to invent some weird milk flavors to even remotely cover the bases.... meh.

Oh, and the best thing for hair removal is either Aliens-type acid, or fire....
Won't treat the rest of you very well... but you [b]would[b] be hairless

[Lingering Grin]

Man comes up to me and says, "You're outta white milk" minutes before I pull my register for the night. As I'm going out from behind my register to check, I ask, "White milk? What kind?"

Not to defend him from being a jerk, but I have to ask. is the cap and/or label on the whole milk at your store white?

I've been asked to pick up milk before from family and when i ask "what kind" I've been told "The purple one" or "The Red One". Which is based off the color of the label and cap on the bottle of milk.

Around this area, the labels tend to be Whole Milk is Red, 2% is Purple or Green, 1% tends to be Purple or Green (whatever the opposite of the 2% is), and Skim tend to be either Blue or Grey.

For the most part, the smaller stores (that carry the lesser used brands) tend to differ

[Nyx]

"Tsk, in my day we grew up fine without any of that fancy stuff!"

And that's exactly why we need it now...

[fireheart]

At least he didn't ask for "homo milk."

[ralerin]

Not to defend him from being a jerk, but I have to ask. is the cap and/or label on the whole milk at your store white?

Around this area, the labels tend to be Whole Milk is Red, 2% is Purple or Green, 1% tends to be Purple or Green (whatever the opposite of the 2% is), and Skim tend to be either Blue or Grey.

Here, most milk comes in white plastic bottles and it's usually the organic or smaller companies who tend to use colored paper cartons. For milk in the plastic bottles, red is whole milk, yellow is 2%, dark blue is 1% and skim is usually pink or light blue. For the cartons, they follow the same color code your milk does. I think he was thinking of the bottles or the color of their contents rather than the labels.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Around this area, the labels tend to be Whole Milk is Red, 2% is Purple or Green, 1% tends to be Purple or Green (whatever the opposite of the 2% is), and Skim tend to be either Blue or Grey.

You would be horribly confused if you came over here. XD Whole has a blue cap, Skimmed a red cap, 1% milk an orange cap and Semi Skimmed a green cap. There's also this weird organic filtered faffed around with milk that has a purple cap; it's Whole milk that supposedly is as healthy as Semi.

I refer to milk by cap colour too; for example if I'm getting milk from the store, my list would go "1pt green milk - 6" rather than "1pt semi skimmed milk - 6". XD

[Fungus]

Man comes up to me and says, "You're outta white milk" minutes before I pull my register for the night. As I'm going out from behind my register to check, I ask, "White milk? What kind?"

"White milk!" he says.

"Whole milk, skim, 1%, 2%?"

"WHITE MILK."

"I know, but what kind and what size?"

"WHITE MILK!!!!!"

I'm at the cooler and lo and behold, we're stocked with half gallons of whole, skim, 1%, 2% and gallons of everything but the whole milk.

"What kind of milk?" I ask again. "You mean WHOLE milk?"

"Yes! White milk! If you don't have any, I'll go to the next store over."

"...Sir, all the milk we have is white."

"WHOLE milk, then."

I go into the back and check and we have no gallons of whole milk. I tell him this, he apologizes and leaves.

It must have been tempting to tell the guy,"See? There is white milk! We have tons of it!" and just walk away.
Tool.

[SG15Z]

"WHOLE milk, then."

I go into the back and check and we have no gallons of whole milk. I tell him this, he apologizes and leaves.

I guess in his day they grew up fine without that fancy stuff.

[amphrite]

Ew

*****BAD TASTE WARNING******


The term whole milk is still funny to me. I mean, even if it is skim, I expect it to be wholly milk, and not milk and spit or something.

I imagine the farmer milking the cow, looking into the bucket and seeing that there isn't enough.

"I need some fluid that is white. Hmm, fluid and white. Oh, I know!"

2 minutes and some adjustment of undergarments later

"Damn! Still not enough. Hey Steve, Come here a minute, will ya..."


Yikes. Seriously, even I don't know where that thought process came from.

[QASlave]

"White milk!" he says.

"Whole milk, skim, 1%, 2%?"

"WHITE MILK."

"I know, but what kind and what size?"

"WHITE MILK!!!!!"

Good God. You gave him that many options and he STILL said "WHITE MILK"??
Trying listening, doofus.

[Geek King]

"That word you just said. Earth-friendly. What's it mean?"

"Some marketer found people will pay more for something that says 'Green' or 'Earth-Friendly' over the same stuff without the lable. Still cleans the hiney though."

[fireheart]

Adding my own thought process to the milk line. The bottles that come through my checkout fall into two categories depending on what brand it is. One particular brand has green for whole, red for skim and that's it (no reduced fat), while the other two that I know of have dark blue for whole, light blue for skim, pink for reduced fat, green for heart friendly and something else I forget.