You all fail at the internet

[Nurian]

To My Online Clients:

I realize many of you are intrigued by this new technology known as the internet. I applaud your desire to learn something that may be out of your comfort zone. By and large, I am proud to be your guide on the site that I support. However, there are some, shall we we, fools who are ruining this experience. As such, I have some rules that I'd all like you to look over:

1) If you ask me a question, DO NOT TALK OVER MY ANSWER THEN COMPLAIN THAT I NEVER ANSWERED YOU. This is very rude.

2) If you ask me a question and I answer but you do not like it, DO NOT SAY I AM WRONG. You came to me. If you think you know better, why ask me?

3) When I ask you for information, DO NOT SIMPLY PROCEED TO YOUR QUESTION. I will need this information eventually. Better now then later.

4) When I tell you how to fix your problem, DO NOT JUST DO THE SAME THING THAT CAUSED THE PROBLEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.

5) If you do not follow number 4, DO NOT BLAME ME FOR TELLING YOU WRONG. I told you what to do. You didn't follow it.

6) If I tell you your browser doesn't work on our site, DO NOT COMPLAIN AND TRY TO TELL ME HOW WONDERFUL IT IS. Seriously, it isn't.

Violating any one of these rules will result in my hemorrhaging my face on the desk in a vain attempt to keep your contagious idiocy out of my brain.

Thank you,
Nurian

[Midnight_Angel]

Full ACK to 1 through 5. However,

6) If I tell you your browser doesn't work on our site, DO NOT COMPLAIN AND TRY TO TELL ME HOW WONDERFUL IT IS. Seriously, it isn't.

Hmm... wasn't HTML a standardized language, so that any W3C compliant browser should be capable of displaying it correctly?

Frankly, if someone tells me to 'just use Microsoft IE', I usually take that as a hint that said person isn't interested in doing business with me.

[cactus]

But if they tell you your browser doesn't work on that site, do you complain and tell them how wonderful it is? :P

[Broomjockey]

do you complain and tell them how wonderful it is? :P

I'd complain and ask what it is about it that doesn't work. Unless you're using something obscure (like lynx), there's no real reason that a site shouldn't work on your browser. Browsers nowadays are either capable of the same basic things, or are able to work around it. It's speed, features, and security that usually make the difference.

[Nurian]

But if they tell you your browser doesn't work on that site, do you complain and tell them how wonderful it is? :P

Nope. I tell them my site is optional but needs another browser if they wish to use it

Three letters, Broom....A-O-L.
For whatever reason AOL does not work on our site. We have a work around (minimize and open Explorer, Firefox, Safari) but some people on AOL don't it.

[Akasa]

AOL?
*hiss*

[SG15Z]

AOL?!

*shudders* You mean people still use that overpriced monstrosity to access the interwebnetz?! Gah!


Well that explains it, cause back when my family had <you know what>* their were several sites that wouldn't work on that browser for some reason. If your internet provider is <you know what> then you fail at the internet.

*Sorry but that name should never be said out loud. Did you know if you said <you know what> three times it will automatically infest your computer and you can never get rid of it? It's true, I saw it on TV once.

[mattm04]

I helped a neighbor who used a certain three letter ISP mentioned above. Some website wasn't working. I downloaded FF and trained them to sing in to A*L minimize it and open FF. Everything worked fine after that.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Hey, I remember the discs Some Certain 3-Letter Internets Provider used to send me all the time in the mail!

They made nice coasters.

[SG15Z]

Hey, I remember the discs Some Certain 3-Letter Internets Provider used to send me all the time in the mail!

They made nice coasters.

Yes they make excellent coasters, they also make awesome form of weaponry against those nosy neighbors.

[Midnight_Angel]

For whatever reason AOL does not work on our site. We have a work around (minimize and open Explorer, Firefox, Safari) but some people on AOL don't it.

*laughs* Understood. For a moment, I thought you were talking browsers that don't work on your site, not things that should never have been

On second thoughts: Wasn't 'AOL user' a synonym for 'fails at internet', anyway? *ducks*

[SG15Z]

On second thoughts: Isn't '<three letters of doom> user' a synonym for 'fails at internet', anyway? *ducks*

Edited for accuracy.

No reason to duck. I doubt anyone on here will through objects at you for that statement.

[Nyoibo]

Those CD's also made useful and fun substitutes for clay pidgeons and targets.

[Lingering Grin]

Frankly, if someone tells me to 'just use Microsoft IE', I usually take that as a hint that said person isn't interested in doing business with me.

Lol I actually like when people tell me that, because it gives me an excuse to laugh in their face.

You see, IE doesn't work on my computer, at all... and yes, I run Windows.
(I use Firefox)

There's a way to completely disable IE and remove 99% of it's components (some of the registry entries can't be removed, because windows uses them to even be able to access the internet and stuff in the first place).

It's funny though, most of these "experts" think I'm lying when I say that I don't even HAVE IE... then I explain how to remove it, and they always realize that the fault lays with them.


If your website doesn't work with the standard browers, that means only 1 thing... You suck as a web programmer.

It's the little things that make me happy.