Attack of the Little Old Lady

[customersruinmylife]

Maybe this should go under sightings, as no members of staff were involved in this directly.

I was serving a little old lady a cup of tea. She was really sweet and polite. She also had a newspaper with her.

Two young guys walk up to the bar to order beer. I can't remember what they were talking about, so I've reduced their conversations to "blahs", but they were swearing alot.

SC: Blah blah fucking blah fucking blah blah blah blah fucking blah fucking...

Little Old Lady looked shocked at their language. She stood, glaring at them.

SC: So I said blah fucking fucking blah fucking...

Little Old Lady started rolling up her newspaper really tight.

SC: Blah fucking blah blah fucking...

Little Old Lady whacks the SC on the back of the head with the newspaper...hard!

SC: What the fuck?!?
Little Old Lady: Would you use that kind of language in front of your mother young man?!?!

She whacked him again.

Little Old Lady: If I was your mother I would wash your mouth out with soap!

She walked off with her cup of tea.

SC: What the fuck was her problem???

A co-worker and me were in pain trying to keep the laughter in.

[Akasa]

Bwahahahahahaha! OMG that's great!

[Lil Bunny]

LOL that is great! I'd have hugged her on the spot.

[JoitheArtist]

OMG, little old lady is my hero!!!

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

It's Granny from Looney Tunes! *smish*

[LibraryLady]

That story is priceless.

I have something similar to offer.

About fifteen years ago Boom-Cars were popular in the neighborhood.

For those who don't know them, Boom-Cars were automobiles fitted out with big speakers in the trunk (or boot, depending on where you live.) Drivers would open up the back of the car and let all the loud rap music hang out while the driver and his friends lounged around the car to tempt lovely young women for dates.

There were some who didn't like that at all.

I remember an older Lady of African heritage. She had the beauty of age. She wore gloves, a flowery dress and a pale straw hat decorated with silk flowers and artificial fruit. She wore ground-gripper shoes. She had her shopping bags slung over her walker. She was a respectable woman and would not assent to be assaulted with Rap-Music from that Boom-Car.

If she was lucky, she was about 5 ft. tall and weighed no more than 115 pounds. The young men averaged about 6' tall and at least 200 pounds each.

The older lady approached the young men.

"Why do you do this stuff? You should be out learning and earning instead of standing on a street corner and doin' the Pimp thing!"

"Jaheen, I know your Mother! Kallil, I know your Grandma! Those ladies need you there to help them. Now, close that trunk. Shut off that stuff you call music and get back to do what young men should be doing!

Guess what happened. The young men shut down the car. At that time and place, young men (black or white) still had respect for older women.

We never saw that Boom-Car again.



She approached the young man who

[fireheart]

Am I thinking of a lady whapping the dog with a newspaper?

NO! NO! BAD SC! BAD SC!

Oh and the standard reminder that violence isn't condoned in any way on the forum.

[BethB]

Somedays I wish I could do that but to actually hear about it. Classic.

[XCashier]

Beware the Little Old Ladies, for they are a force to be reckoned with!

A big to both of those ladies!

[aniwahya]

Er...
Am I the only one who, upon being whacked by a stranger with anything, would turn around and make them eat it? Old lady or no, and regardless of the language used, hitting someone is classless and just plain stupid, imo.

Hell I just had a long conversation about manners and appropriate ways to deal with conflict because she's lost her damn mind regarding manners( don't misunderstand me, I love the old goat to pieces, shes just a handful).

Anyway my point is, if *I*can't go around hitting people who do things I disagree with, or find annoying, then *grandma* sure as hell can't go around hitting them either. ><

[One-Fang]

Spoilsport ;p

No, seriously, you raise a good point. Hitting should never be condoned, by anyone, to anyone, anywhere. But ... sometimes you take joy in others' pain. A little shadenfreude, when well deserved, lightens the day.

[sirwired]

Aniwahya,

Yeah, it possibly wasn't appropriate for somebody to hit a stranger, but you have to admit, the mental picture of some little old lady whacking a full-grown man upside the head with a newspaper is pretty damn funny; it's not like she sucker-punched him with a cane...

SirWired

[donruss]

The old lady should have made a complaint to the staff and management about the profanity. What she did was unacceptable! You just can't go around hitting people no matter how deserved it is. That is anti-social behavior and laws apply to people of all ages. If the management could not control the language, she has the option of leaving and not giving that business her patronage in the future. IMO her behavior was ten times worse than the idiots using the bad language.

[Broomjockey]

Er...
Am I the only one who, upon being whacked by a stranger with anything, would turn around and make them eat it?

While I agree with the basic point that her thwaping them wasn't the best thing ever, this strikes me as quite extreme, and I must now make the official comment that we do not condone violence on this board. Reporting customer actions is fine. Approval or disapproval of those actions is fine. Fantasy violence (such as the woodchipper) is fine. But saying that you'd actually make them eat whatever they hit you with, or to mention killing someone over something like this is over the line. Self-defence is fine. Shoving something down someone's throat after a single whack is not self-defence. Anything above that is not self-defence. Now that we've clearly established where the line is, carry on.

[freeman]

Morality is a loose and fluid thing. If I was doing nothing unreasonable, I would probably agree with you on the confronting the person whacking me in the head with a newspaper, but most people know when they are being jack @$$es and so when they are called on it they back down.