And this is a Friend

[hobbitt97]

I do in-home computer repair and training. Two weeks ago I helped a friend configure some software and hardware that needed to be reinstalled after saving her computer from a horrid virus. She didn't have any money with her and told me that she would pay me the following week. Since we had worked well together before I said sure. That weekend I had chest pains and ended up in the hospital. Monday night she called about a file association problem. I was very worried about tests I was having the next morning and whether I had had a heart attack. I informed her that I was in the hospital and couldn't help her at that moment.
She responded in a sarcastic tone that I shouldn't be expected to work when I was in the hospital and ended the conversation. I called her the following day regarding the money she owes me and that I needed it to cover my expenses (and outstanding cheques). I left her a friendly voice mail regarding this.
The tests turned out to be negative (thank god!!). I had had an acid reflux attack and was released from the hospital. I saw her later in the week and she wouldn't speak to me.
The following day she did speak to me and say that I was selfish and was a "taker" and how dare I leave her a message demanding payment (???? wtf ?????)
I apologized that she felt that way and sorry to have inconvenienced her. Later on I asked myself why I was apologizing to her. What a knucklehead. I have not spoken to her since and am walking around with no money. I have even had to borrow money to cover the bank.

[Mike Taylor]

Glad it was just acid reflux. I've been through that same fear myself. Acid reflux combined with high blood pressure can be quite frightening.

I think you need to sit down with your friend and have a serious talk. I'd even go so far as to show them any paperwork you may have had to deal with while in the hospital.

[Hobbs]

Gee, if only you had a friend who did 'collections.'

[Aethian]

I'm sorry dear. I want to say something helpful and inspring but...can't think of anything. *snugs* Glad your okay.

[Sheldonrs]

Sounds like you had an attack of JACKASSid reflux. Just keep reminding her she owes you money that SHE agreed to pay.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I think you need to sit down with your friend and have a serious talk. I'd even go so far as to show them any paperwork you may have had to deal with while in the hospital.

Glad you are okay, but I totally don't agree with this.

Sometimes, you get shown just how big a useless asshole someone is, and that you should avoid that person like the plague in the future, before she costs you even more. This is one of those times.

I don't know how much money you lost, but it's probably well worth the price of the lesson.

Talking to this person serves nothing. What on earth could you possibly say to her to make her go "Oh, wow. Yeah, you're right, I DO owe you money and I HAVE been completely self involved! I'm so sorry, can you forgive me?' Not going to happen. Forget it and walk away from it. Completely.

[RobertM]

She didn't have any money with her and told me that she would pay me the following week. Since we had worked well together before I said sure.

First rule of doing work for "Friends" Make sure they have the money first.

If they don't then no work, if they are friends they will understand and if they don't then they are not friends.

[Anakah]

I'm glad you're okay!

The "friend" should have taken your health into consideration and asked if there was anything she could do to help you. And coughed up the money she owes you.

[Mike Taylor]

Glad you are okay, but I totally don't agree with this.

Sometimes, you get shown just how big a useless asshole someone is, and that you should avoid that person like the plague in the future, before she costs you even more. This is one of those times.

I don't know how much money you lost, but it's probably well worth the price of the lesson.

Talking to this person serves nothing. What on earth could you possibly say to her to make her go "Oh, wow. Yeah, you're right, I DO owe you money and I HAVE been completely self involved! I'm so sorry, can you forgive me?' Not going to happen. Forget it and walk away from it. Completely.

I was thinking more along the lines of making the asshole feel ashamed of being an asshole. I had to use the very tactic I mentioned on a boss who thought I was shirking work. Drop a copy of a $300 ambulance bill in their lap and they shut up real fast.

[MadMike]

That sucks. Some friend, huh?

I'm afraid I have nothing helpful to add, other than not to help her in the future, which I'm sure is a given. If she thinks what you charged her is unreasonable, let her take it to a shop and get royally screwed.

The only people who ask me for help are my family and my closest friends, and I never ask them for anything. But they usually take care of me somehow. Beer, food, or help repairing something I don't know how to fix.

In fact, one of my friends is coming over to fix a plumbing problem that I don't know how to deal with. He's good at fixing things like that, but has very little computer knowledge. So we help each other out with the skills the one of us has, and the other doesn't.

[PepperElf]

The following day she did speak to me and say that I was selfish and was a "taker"

Apparently she thinks you're a mirror?
For surely ... SHE is the one who is Selfish and a taker.

You're her FRIEND and she didn't even ask how you were? Fuck that.

Let her computer break.

[hobbitt97]

and more

We are both recovering alkies so beer is out of the question . She definitely forgets that her problems are not my problem. She has been sober 1-1/2 months...tends to get selfish. I just pray for her. But I will definitely have second thoughts about helping her with her pc going forward.
I had hoped that she would understand about me being ill. I guess not.

[BowserKoopa1]

I am very glad to hear you are doing ok.
This girl is very obviously not your friend. Anyone who tries to cheat you out of money, and then acts like she doesn't give a shit when she's well aware of the fact that you are in the hospital and could be dying for all she knows, is really no friend. Sorry, but I just don't think alcohol is an excuse for doing things like this, unless she was drunk when she talked to you.

[chainedbarista]

no, the alcohol isn't an excuse; if she's in aa, she should know this, because one of the steps (if i remember correctly) involves asking for forgiveness to those you've hurt, and she's hurt you in more than one way.

i'm with everyone else here; she's no friend and her recovery from addiction isn't a valid excuse to abuse and skip on a debt.

glad you're ok.

[tamezin]

She didn't have any money with her and told me that she would pay me the following week. Since we had worked well together before I said sure.

Friends is Friends...Business is Business...They are like oil and water and should not be mixed.

She obviously wasn't a real friend, she was using you. When I went back to college and needed to earn some extra $$, I took a number of computer jobs on the side. I had a number of those types of friends, but when I started charging a minimum rate (essentially covering my gas and a token for my time) it was amazing how many real friends I had.