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  • #1

    Kitchen!

    This convo takes place on the phone.

    Me: *company*, how can I help you?
    SC: KITCHEN!
    Me: ...excuse me?
    SC: KITCHEN!
    Me: ...Ma'am, we don't have a kitchen. Who are you trying to reach?
    SC: KITCHEN!
    Me: ...are you trying to place an order?
    SC: KITCHEN!
    Me: ...ma'am, what are you trying to order?
    SC: PIZZA!
    Me: So you'd like the food court?
    SC: NOT THE FOOD COURT, THE KITCHEN!
    Me: Let me transfer you to the "kitchen". *transfers to food court*

    Seriously, we have 3 different areas she could have meant (rotisserie deli, bakery, food court), what's so hard about saying, "Hi, I'd like to place an order for a pizza?"

    Then I remember that some people just suck.
    "I, too, am saddened by the lack of hookers in this thread." -LingualMonkey
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  • #2
    With people like this, I enjoy shouting out like we were playing some word assosiation game. It usually confuses them enough that they talk like normal human beings (ie, full sentences).
    The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
    "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
    Hoc spatio locantur.

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    • #3
      I got this call once.

      Me: <supermarket> bakeshop.
      SC: FOOD!
      Me: What kid of food?
      SC: FOOD!
      Me: Are you looking for meat, dairy, bread, what kind of Food?
      SC: I'm looking fo FOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDD!

      I eventually transferred them to my fried in Grocery as part of their payback for a prank. They wasted five minutes: until they got the SC to ask us the actual question they wanted to ask.....are we open.

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      • #4
        SC:KITCHEN!
        Me: DISHES!
        SC: KITCHEN!?
        Me: FORKS!
        SC: *Head explodes!*

        see, it does work.
        "I'm working for popcorn - what I get paid doesn't rise to the level of peanuts." -Courtesy of Darkwish

        ...Beware the voice without a face...

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        • #5
          Right after I got promoted to manager, I took a call from a lady who responded to

          Me: Thanks for calling (company), this is Grumpy, how can I help you?"
          SC: "MANAGER!"
          Me: "Would you like to speak to a manager?"
          SC: "MANAGER!"
          Me: "I am a manager."
          SC: "MANAGER!"
          Me: "Yes, I am a manager. How can I help you?"
          SC: "MANAGER!"
          Me: "I am a manager."
          SC: "MANAGER!"
          Me: "MANAGER!"
          SC: "MANAGER!"
          Me: "MANAGER!"
          SC: "MANAGER!"
          Me: "MANAGER!"
          SC: "MANAGER!"
          Me: "MANAGER!"

          I was game to see how long she'd last. This went on for about ninety seconds, then she hung up. A few days later I recieved a lettter from what could only be her. She very ariculately wrote about her terrible experienc wherein her request to speak to a manager was ignored and she was mocked by our employee. I sent her a response explaing that it was me she had talked to, and I was unable to get anything out of her except the word "MANAGER!". She never replied, but I was expecting a letter saying nothing but "MANAGER!"

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          • #6
            My response would have been, in a Peter Griffin voice, "THERE IS NO KITCHEN. THERE IS ONLY ZUUL!"
            "Sigh, I'm going to Hell.....but I'm going with a smile on my face." -- Gravekeeper

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            • #7
              Quoth Grumpy View Post
              SC: "MANAGER!"
              Me: "Would you like to speak to a manager?"
              SC: "MANAGER!"
              Me: "I am a manager."
              SC: "MANAGER!"
              Me: "Yes, I am a manager. How can I help you?"
              SC: "MANAGER!"
              Me: "I am a manager."
              SC: "MANAGER!"
              Was her name Mrs. Richards? Maybe she didn't have her hearing aid on at the time. It wears the batteries down...
              "I'll probably come round and steal the food out of your fridge later too, then run a key down the side of your car as I walk away from your house, which I've idly set ablaze" - Mil Millington

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              • #8
                I get this all the time at the front desk, and I HATE it. People will walk up and just say "Charlie Johnson, room 101" and look at me expectantly. Or, even better, just march up and declare "Smith!" It rattles me because my first instinct is to say "Yeah, what about him?" but of course that won't do at all, so I have to think of something polite to say.
                Of course, in their brains, they know exactly what they need, so of course I do too. However, in reality, I have no idea if they ARE Charlie Johnson, or are visiting Charlie Johnson. And if they are Charlie Johnson, do they need a spare key? To pick up a package? Dry cleaning? Have a maintenance request? Just like hearing the sound of their own name?

                YOU MUST BE MORE SPECIFIC.

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                • #9
                  They used to do that at Kinko's, they'd call and bark out "Bob!" or whatever. I'd say "excuse me, could you repeat that?" and if they didn't do better in the next breath, I'd just interpret that word however I felt like. Saying "Oh, hi, Bob, are you coming in today?" or, "I'm sorry, ma'am, we don't have an order for a Bob." or something along those lines was usually sufficient to either straighten them out or cause them to pop a gasket. Either option which was acceptable to me.

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