It wasn't funny the first time...

[customersruinmylife]

A few days after I started at the new pub, I served a regular.

R: Pint of lager please.
Me: Yeah sure, anything else?
R: Ten pounds out of the till. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I did a fake laugh to keep him happy.

A few days later...

Me: Pint of lager again?
R: Yes. And ten pounds out of the till. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

I laughed again. I co-worker informed me he tells the same joke over and over again.

The regular comes in about three times a week, and every time I served him, he would do the same thing. It was getting a bit tiresome.

Yesterday...

R: Pint of lager please.
Me: Sure.

I made the drink.

R: And ten pounds out of the till. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

I didn't laugh.

R: Hey! Hey! I said, ten pounds out of the till. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I still didn't laugh.

R: Huh! Well someone's in a mood today!

[Dytchdoctir]

R: Hey! Hey! I said, ten pounds out of the till. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I still didn't laugh.

R: Huh! Well someone's in a mood today!

At least he didn't say something like:

"Wassamatter? You on the rag today?!! HAHAHAHAHA!"

or similar example of [sarcasm] scintillating brilliance [/sarcasm].

[XCashier]

This is the point where you take ten pounds (in weight, not monetary units) and drop it on his head. Repeatedly.

[BowserKoopa1]

If I were in a bad enough mood or happen to come to work not feeling 100%, I might just politely tell this guy to not quit his day job and come up with some better jokes.
What you could try doing is come up with a clever response that might just shut him up if you hear this same joke all the time. (sorry, I don't know what to tell you) Ask 1 of your coworkers or friends, and I'm sure they can come up with a good response.

[Chattyaholic]

Why do those people think they are so funny? They never are.

I got so tired of telling people who came in at the diner to "sit wherever you like", and some idiot (always a man, never a woman) would say "can we sit in the kitchen?"

Or "are you having the buffet or would you like to see a menu" and idiot (again, always a man, never a woman) would say "I don't think a menu would taste very good."

I could go on and on....

[chainedbarista]

after hearing the dreaded repeat jokes (winning lottery ticket, free drink, 'i just printed that,' etc. ad nauseum), i finally started saying things like, 'that has to be the nth time i've heard that, it wasn't funny the first time either,' *mild laugh* 'good one' (blank face afterwards) or just a stare indicating that the jokester should seek a new line of work.

not friendly, but when i'm subjected to this line of crap, it gets old and i want it to stop, so i can make friendly chit chat with them without the feeble humor attempts.

[PepperElf]

R: Hey! Hey! I said, ten pounds out of the till. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

just laugh like this or this

[Jester]

"Ever think of becoming a comedian? Don't."

"Don't quit your day job."

"Sorry, the guy before you got the ten pounds."

"Sure, no problem....as long as you give me twenty pounds out of your wallet in exchange."

"I should warn you, I've called the humor police, and they are on their way to arrest you for illegal use of a stale joke."

One I use with really obnoxious customers: I look them dead in the eye, with a straight face but a slight smile, and say, "You really don't want to drink at this bar, do you?" The implied threat with the slight smile confuses them, as they don't know if you are joking or not....but they usually get the hint to pull their head out of their ass.

[tinamarble88]

Yeah I get that too from customers. I ask them anything else? and they reply, yeah a million dollars.

[karma_gypsy]

Yeah I get that too from customers. I ask them anything else? and they reply, yeah a million dollars.

I hear that one a lot too, so much, that it doesn't even bother me ....

Or the, "can I help you with something?"

And they reply, "yeah, but it's not the help you can get me" or "yeah, mental help, har har har" (notice the absence of exclamation points, simply because they're NOT funny ....)

I just give a fake laugh and reply ... "ohhhh, hehe, yeah, sorry, can't help you there ..."



I've just given up .... There's no winning time and time and time and time again...

[BusBus]

I hear the same old ones over and over and over.........ad nauseum. It's gotten to the point where they sometimes actually repeat their clever phrase to me, because I didn't react the first time. After 5.5 years, I will give them a quick smile, but I won't break pace with what I am doing.

However, once in a blue moon, someone will say something funny (on purpose) and I will give them credit and laugh genuinely.

Of course, when they say something "funny" (/dumb/back assward) unknowingly, then it's all I can do to keep it in.

[lush]

Guys like that in my bartending days would have gotten "Let me guess pint of lager and 10 pounds" (maybe even a smile and a wink) when they came up to the bar, just to cut off the joke..

[Imogene]

Yeah I get that too from customers. I ask them anything else? and they reply, yeah a million dollars.

I unintentionally changed that line in my family one night, while we were out. The waitress came over to check on us, asked us that line, and I knew my Dad was about to complete it, so, thinking fast, I said, "I'd really like a pony..." and just kinda drifted off into my own thoughts, imagining myself having a pony.

I have reused it a few times, but I try to avoid repeating it in the usual restaurants.

[cinema guy]

I've used a similar joke at work a few times.

Sup: "Here's the change you asked for. Do you need anyhing else?"
Me: "The love of a good woman."

[Jester]

"A good psychologist."

This one gets some strange looks, but I'm sure you can figure out that that is something that is not new to me.