THE BATHROOM OF........doom?(long...ranty)

[Red_Dazes]

...and other tales from The Pit
I really hate April Fools day....Not the whole people playing tricks on me part... they mostly don't. It just seems like all the idiots of the world come out on April 1st... it's like their big convention. "And lo' to the east they did see a star, bright and wondrous and stupid. And it summoned them forth and brought them together. And the world lost a little bit of it's grey matter."
And I am stuck in The Pit...aka Fitting room.... and there for forced to suffer this abject stupid....

Not really sucky..... just... stupid.

Bathroom Snobbery

This lady wasn't really sucky... just left me "wtf:ing for a while.

So she walks into the bathroom. A few minutes later she comes back out, she walks past me and leans WAY into my personal space. And practically hisses in my face.
"That is the MOST DISGUSTING bathroom I have Ever seen!" And storms off.
I'm thinking "OH Fucking great" preparing to enter the bathroom and find a study in human bodily fluids all over the walls and floors. Or Find the trash can overflowing with rubbish and baby diapers... or perhaps even more Paper towels down the toilet.... stopping whatever bodily secretions more prominent than pee, from being flushed.

know what the horrible...disgusting... doom worthyness of our bathroom was today?
A toilet seat liner (clean) and two strips of unused toilet paper (about a foot long each) laying on the floor next to the toilet.
Honestly? The rest of the bathroom was sparkling. The toilet looked like Paco had just finished cleaning it... the sink was dry... the thrash wasnt even HALF full yet.

WHAT DID YOU FIND SO OFFENSIVE!!! I MUST KNOW!!! TEEEEELLLL MEEEEE!!!!!!!!1111Turtle!!!!!!!

It's been bugging me all day. Has she never been to a public restroom... I mean, yeah I try and keep it looking nice... but really? 3 pieces of CLEAN paper, made it the MOST disgusting bathroom of all time? Shit...

Ear to Brain Malfunction

She pulls up. at LEAST 30 items in her cart, and walks up to me with the first 8. So i go through my normal spiel. "Any room that is open is fine, please bring everything back out on the hangers when you are done*BIG F*ING SMILE*"
She comes back out. And Everything is on the hangers. BRAVO! Time for round 2. 8 more items.
Now I have a general rule... if I know you were JUST in the fitting room... and i know I JUST told you about the hanger thing.... I generally figure you remember this. This lady killed my faith in humanity.
She comes out...hands me 5 things. 3 are not on hangers. *sigh* Okay... maybe she just forgot.
Round 3. *spiel 2nd time* She comes back out... hands me 5 items again. only 1... is not on the hanger. And this was her pattern for the rest of the evening. everytime she came out of the fitting room. ONE thing was not hung up.... I almost screamed.

I mean really.... It's not that hard... just HANG IT THE FUCK BACK UP! *deep breath*

WHERE"S MY CART!!!!!

I had 5 people.... that's 5 like the number of fingers it takes to make a fist, or 4 more than I really cared to listen to. Bitch me out today about moving their carts.
See, because of Fire codes we cant have carts back in the Pit... so we cleared off a space by lingerie for people to park their carts.... HOWEVER... no matter HOW MANY TIMES I tell them to park their carts there... they never listen. So I end up just moving them myself. This normally isnt to big of a problem... they come out looking for their cart and I tell them where it is. But SOME people.... should be shot.

"WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU MOVE MY FUCKING CART!"
**fire code spiel**

"IF someone took my THINGS you're going to be sorry!!"
**Reference to sign above head stating we are NOT responsible for your shit**

"HOW DARE YOU!! HOW DARE YOU""
**Blank stare.... oh i dare... trust me...**

"Do you know how LONG I spent finding those!!! It's YOUR JOB to watch them!!"
**Do you know how FAST I could put them away? Time me! You'll be surprised. Not my job... not my CW's job... not my Manager's job. YOUR JOB BITCH! Watch your own fucking stuff**

And my favorite.
"Where's my cart!"
*Spiel about moving it*
""(Sudden explosion on me in some foreign language... I'm sure their were bad words involved... and much hand motioning...)""""
**Blank stare.... Nod nod* That's just what they tell me to do. So take it up with them. *Turn...go back to work and ignore... **


I was burnt out at this point, so I wasn't trying to be particularly nice like normal...
I've starting having dreams about work... Bad dreams.. horrible never ending dreams... I think it's time for a career change... That being said and the fact that I have been over a year and a half with out ANY customer complaints... I'm not really too worried about being a little snarky now and then.


Shut UP!

Lady walks up with an over flowing CART of clothes. She heeps 8 items into her arms and walks up to me. Looking over me and the 3 piles of clothes that are threatening to tower over my head. And she says......
"Oh. You Poor thing, having to put all this away by your SELF!"
Nothing really wrong with this... nothing rude, or mean.... it's just... SHE HAD 40 THINGS TO TRY ON!..... FORTY! I mean sure... you can say that to me if you have like 3 things... but when you KNOW you are just going to add THAT much more to my pile. Just shut up. Do not talk to me. I already hated you when I saw you pull up with that cart... don't push it. Just take your number. try on your clothes. and GOD HELP YOU IF THEY ARNT ON THE HANGER"S WHEN YOU COME OUT!


The Finale

My final task for tonight was to clean up lingerie. I just want to say.... I hate women. Sorry to all my fellow ovaries. But... I hate our gender. I ended up with a pile a foot and a half high, that covered my whole table... of tangled bra's and panties...and those were only the one's on the floor. not all the shit tossed over the tops of the racks or tangled beyond comprehensibility... just the stuff from ONE side of a little 9 foot long rack. So I apologize to my fellow females, and I apologize to all the ovaries who are GOOD about clothing.... but tonight... that scene...

Well... I hate women. And I vote we burn all the bra's and panties.... Re...fucking...diculous....




_~Fin~_

[SG15Z]

WHAT DID YOU FIND SO OFFENSIVE!!! I MUST KNOW!!! TEEEEELLLL MEEEEE!!!!!!!!1111Turtle!!!!!!!

Wow didn't see that coming. Excuse me while I clean up my Dr. Pepper off my computer screen....

It's been bugging me all day. Has she never been to a public restroom... I mean, yeah I try and keep it looking nice... but really? 3 pieces of CLEAN paper, made it the MOST disgusting bathroom of all time? Shit...

Man where does she shop? Cause I want to shop there! If that's the most disgusting public restroom she's seen I want to see what she normally sees, because what you described is what I normally see.

"IF someone took my THINGS you're going to be sorry!!"

Someone said this to me once. I just stared at them and gave them a "yeah right" face. Technically everything in the cart hasn't been purchased it so it's not "your" things yet. And if you left personal items, well you're just fucking stupid.

"Do you know how LONG I spent finding those!!! It's YOUR JOB to watch them!!"

Really? Last I checked the only thing in my job description as far as "cart watching" goes is theft prevention. And since the stuff isn't yours yet (as we have established), if someone takes something out of you cart and proceeds to buy it, it isn't theft. So I have to do nothing.

[Nyoibo]

I vote we burn all the bra's and panties....

I second this.

[Shpepper]

I second this.

No No No..... Trust me... You do NOT want all women going braless... I promise it is not a pretty picture.

[lineswine]

No No No..... Trust me... You do NOT want all women going braless... I promise it is not a pretty picture.

OK...so pantieless works for me - as long as skirts are involved! *runs away, giggling*

[Crab]

GOD HELP YOU IF THEY AREN'T ON THE HANGERS WHEN YOU COME OUT!

... Well, were they?

[ralerin]

"And lo' to the east they did see a star, bright and wondrous and stupid. And it summoned them forth and brought them together. And the world lost a little bit of it's grey matter."

Oh dear.

[blas]

I vote only flat and smaller chested women OR women with the luxury of having very perky larger breasts be allowed to go braless. I'm even including myself here. I may be young yet, but I hate the way my boobs look without a bra on. I'm sure it drives the men ga-ga, but it makes me ill.

I understand you are angry, but please. If all women go braless, I will never be able to eat in public, let alone go out in public, ever again. I will vomit Exorcist style every time I see a woman with two big floppy watermelon sized breasts swinging as freely and floppy as a flag on a windy day.

[Red_Dazes]

... Well, were they?

Yeah... for the most part. Except the hangers she broke...

[Toujin]

I'm guessing the woman who freaked out over a few pieces of paper is one of those clean-freaks who has a huge fit when some brings a glass of water into her living room, or doesn't use a coaster in the kitchen.

As for those who take forty or more items into the fitting rooms, or take their sweet time, it may not be much of an issue at larger stores. But at small stores with only two or three fitting rooms. These people can incite murderous rage in their fellow customers, including myself. Bonus points if:

*There's already a huge line
*A sign saying something like 'Three items or less' that's blatantly disregarded.
*It's 10 minutes or less until closing time.

All three of these happened to me a few Halloweens back at the local 'Party City'

Being quite busty myself, I actually envy those who can happily go braless in public, or wear something tight or low-cut without looking slutty. I'm planning on getting a reduction one of these days...

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

And I vote we burn all the bra's and panties....

I second this.

You really want to see some big wrinkly skinbag with her girls spazzing to and fro around her knees?

[Reyneth]

I vote only flat and smaller chested women OR women with the luxury of having very perky larger breasts be allowed to go braless.

But beware - the perky larger breast women not wearing bras will turn into saggy larger breasted women in a few years!

My sister went swimsuit shopping with my grandma once about 8 years ago. She's still scarred by the experience and grandma never even wore the suit!

[Red_Dazes]

Bonus points if:


*It's 10 minutes or less until closing time.

I dont let anyone else into the FR 10 min from closing time. Unless they have Less than 3 items. My manger says we arnt "supposed to" but she still told me to go ahead. Saves me from having to chase unhappy people out of the fitting rooms.

[MadMike]

You really want to see some big wrinkly skinbag with her girls spazzing to and fro around her knees?

I have seen it, and it's definitely not a pretty sight.

My ex was pretty huge up top, and she had a bad habit of not wearing a bra. It took it's toll on her while she was still in her early 20s. She came over to see our son one day (imagine that, she actually showed up), and she, myself, my son, and my wife (my girlfriend at the time) were all hanging out on the front porch. We were all sitting, and when she got up, her boobs popped out from the bottom of her shirt!

Worse yet, my brain-to-mouth filter failed, and I blurted out "You're not wearing a damn bra!" To this day, my wife accuses me of "looking." I may not be the most innocent guy in the world, but believe me that did NOT turn me on.

[dalesys]

You really want to see some big wrinkly skinbag with her girls spazzing to and fro around her knees?

The most common bra size at the rest home? 42DD Extra Long
The favorite comdom? Trojan Extra Soft

Seriously, guys, unless you plan on trading in girlfriends with your cars every few years, learn to love 'em however they hang...

Cause we age just as interestingly