I got one over on an SC

[Akasa]

That should be all the motivation you need to stop giving out your name immediately.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I once gave out the name "Ivana Tinkle" to an idiot who refused to believe that I didn't work in the shop I was in. I would have loved to see the manager's face when the SC went to him to complain about the rude Ivana Tinkle. XD

[taxguykarl]

I wish I could use that. As I am the only male in this office, I would not be hard to identify.

[Jack Doe]

Now, let me go over my check list of things I'll need for our little session..... Duct tape. Baseball bat. Rubber tubing. Funnel. PVC pipe. 18 gallons of water. 1 meat cleaver. 6 lemons. 1 fruit knife. 4 plastic bags, heavy duty. 1 gallon of bleach. 1 mop handle. 1 pirate hat. 20 feet of high strength rope. All four Indiana Jones movies. And a six pack of Fanta orange soda. (I get thirsty.) Oh, and NO QUESTIONS.

Wait, isn't that the recommended loadout for a level in Hitman: Contracts?

[PepperElf]

What's truly sad is this....

Dave, I want to take my children horse back riding and I was given the number to the equestrian center and nobody answered. Is there something you can do about this?
......

Guest: what is your name because I am filing a complaint about you?

Me: Buster Cherry

Guest: ok, Buster.

She knew your name was Dave, but still ended up thinking it was Buster Cherry and never figured out ... "wait a minute, I called him Dave before!"

You sir are a genius.

[ditchdj]

Well, first of all, what the hell is an "equestrian center"???

And second, "Poor planning on your behalf does NOT constitute......"

[Rapscallion]

Well, first of all, what the hell is an "equestrian center"???"

Middle of a horse.

Rapscallion

[Luna Baby]

An emergency line.

For an equestrian center.

Dave, please book me your least valuable room in your hotel, and send Miss Center of the Fucking Universe to that room.

Please ignore anything you may hear from that room over the next few hours.

Now, let me go over my check list of things I'll need for our little session..... Duct tape. Baseball bat. Rubber tubing. Funnel. PVC pipe. 18 gallons of water. 1 meat cleaver. 6 lemons. 1 fruit knife. 4 plastic bags, heavy duty. 1 gallon of bleach. 1 mop handle. 1 pirate hat. 20 feet of high strength rope. All four Indiana Jones movies. And a six pack of Fanta orange soda. (I get thirsty.) Oh, and NO QUESTIONS.

I just have to know--What is the pirate hat for?

[Munkie]

Well, first of all, what the hell is an "equestrian center"???

And second, "Poor planning on your behalf does NOT constitute......"

An emergency on MY part!

An Equestrian Center is basically a school that teaches people how to ride/take care of horses.

[Shpepper]

An emergency line.

For an equestrian center.

Dave, please book me your least valuable room in your hotel, and send Miss Center of the Fucking Universe to that room.

Please ignore anything you may hear from that room over the next few hours.

Now, let me go over my check list of things I'll need for our little session..... Duct tape. Baseball bat. Rubber tubing. Funnel. PVC pipe. 18 gallons of water. 1 meat cleaver. 6 lemons. 1 fruit knife. 4 plastic bags, heavy duty. 1 gallon of bleach. 1 mop handle. 1 pirate hat. 20 feet of high strength rope. All four Indiana Jones movies. And a six pack of Fanta orange soda. (I get thirsty.) Oh, and NO QUESTIONS.

Everytime I read something like this I like the way you think more and more.

[PepperElf]

only 6 fantas?

[Reyneth]

Middle of a horse.

Rapscallion

Good one.

Do these people have staff to take care of everything for them in their everyday lives? I'm thinking they must to expect that sort of treatment regarding their vacations. Too bad they can't have their personal slaves take care of this insignificant minutiae for their vacations too!

[Naaman]

Now, let me go over my check list of things I'll need for our little session..... Duct tape. Baseball bat. Rubber tubing. Funnel. PVC pipe. 18 gallons of water. 1 meat cleaver. 6 lemons. 1 fruit knife. 4 plastic bags, heavy duty. 1 gallon of bleach. 1 mop handle. 1 pirate hat. 20 feet of high strength rope. All four Indiana Jones movies. And a six pack of Fanta orange soda. (I get thirsty.) Oh, and NO QUESTIONS.

Now that's a bit over the top!!


Making them watch Indiana Jones IV *shudder*

[LibraryLady]

Congratulations, vacation_rentals_suck!

You finally nailed one on of those horrors.

Let's see. You're supposed to have the following:

1) Intimate knowledge of the compositions of paths leading to the beach.

2) Intimate knowledge of the foliage surrounding pools.

3) Intimate knowledge of the menus of any and all restaurants in the general vicinity.

4) The ability to make children stop playing on the beach.

5) The ability to make sure that, at all times, the remote control for the TV is exactly aligned as the owner requires.

6) The ability to instantly change the color and pattern of the bedspread in a guest room.

7) The ability to immediately remove a dead bird or a dead fish from the beach.

8) The ability to immediately provide bicycles on Christmas Day.

9) The ability to provide a horse on demand.

Good grief, Dave. You should change your name to Dumbledore!

I know you're a man but, in future, you might think about sending these outrageous demands to the supplier of all needs, Miss. Helen Waite.

"I can't supply that at the moment, sir. I suggest you go to Helen Waite."

[Becks]

I just have to know--What is the pirate hat for?

only 6 fantas?

Remember, he said NO QUESTIONS.