Tweet
I currently work for an indirect agent for one of the cell phone carriers. It’s not a bad job; the pay could be better, it’s a bit slow and I have some issues with how the main office operates. (Does anyone up there know what advertising is?) Other than that, it’s not bad.
Then there are the customers...
Ah, my dear customers, let me explain something to you: the words can’t and won’t don’t mean the same thing. If I tell you I can’t do something, it doesn’t mean that I don’t want to do it. Nine times out of ten, I’d be willing to do what you want, but I can’t because <carrier> won’t let us. I can’t cancel your service; I don’t have access to billing; I can’t do warranty exchanges; I can’t change your upgrade dates; I do have to charge you $9.99 to transfer the contacts and pictures from your old phone to your new phone. Bitching at me won’t change that.
Also, the next person to say that since they’ve been with <carrier> for fill-in-the-blank years, they deserve a free phone will get the death-glare. You want a new phone, you have to buy the phone. I’ve been with my cable company for as long as I’ve been in Florida, get my television, internet and phone through them, and they ain’t gonna be giving me free service anytime soon.
And I’m sorry I have to charge you a $.99 processing fee to take your bill payment. It used to be $3, so stop complaining. And I’m sorry I don’t have access to billing, so you have to tell me how much you want to pay. If you don’t want to pay a processing fee, then pay it over the phone or through the web site using your credit or debit card. What’s that? You want to pay cash? Then you pay the processing fee or you drive twenty-two miles to the nearest corporate store.
Can’t/Won’t #1
A guy comes in, saying that he doesn’t know if I can help him. He tells me his wife’s phone is damaged, there isn’t insurance on it and it needs to be replaced. I pull up the account and find that she’s not ready to upgrade for about a month. I tell him this. He asks if I can change the date. When I tell him no, I can’t change the upgrade date he gets mad and demands I do something. I inform him again that I can’t change the upgrade date. He storms out, crabbing that he shouldn’t have come to my store.
You come in saying that you don’t know if I can help you, and when I tell you I can’t help you, you get mad. WTF?
Can’t/Won’t #2
An older guy comes in wanting to make changes to his family share plan. Okay, I can do that. He gives me his cell phone number and the last four of the social security number. The computer prompts me for the account password. Problem is the guy doesn’t remember it. (This happens often enough that it doesn’t surprise me anymore.) He tries to call the other person on the plan, but can’t get in touch with him. I suggest that I call customer service so he can talk to them and change the password so I can get into the account and do the plan change. He starts for the door saying that he’ll call customer service since I won’t help him.
You don’t remember your password, so I offer you the means to change the password so I can get into the account, which of course means that I don’t want to help you. Yeah, that makes...wait...what...?
Canada’s A Foreign Country...Really?
A very angry man comes in with problems with his bill. I try and figure out what’s wrong, but can’t figure out what the extra charges are for. My first thought is to get into his account and see what I can spot there. So I ask him for his cell phone number...he gives it to me. I ask for the last four of his social security number...he gives it to me. The computer again prompts for a password...he gives it to me.
While I’m waiting for the account to come up, he leans into me and says, “What else do you want to know...the last time I had sex?”
...whiskey...tango...foxtrot...
In a very quiet voice, I tell him that the system asked for a password. His reply: “I just wanted to show that I had a sense of humor.” Didn’t work, asswipe.
When the account comes up, I don’t see anything that shouldn’t be there, no features that he might have added and forgotten about, nothing that might have been added to his plan by a less-than-scrupulous salesman. I tell him that I have to call customer service, to which he complains that they’re useless; he called them and they couldn’t help him. Well, if you’re talking to them the same way you’re talking to me, it’s not surprising.
I call customer service. One charge was a music download that he had forgotten about. The other charges were international calls. He made calls to Canada. I tell him this and he starts screaming that he never called anyone in Canada. He then says that he made some calls to Ontario and Toronto. He wasn’t happy when I pointed out that Ontario and Toronto were both in Canada and that, yes, Canada is a foreign country.
So What’re You Going To Do About Taxes?
Another older man comes in, complaining that he’s tired of paying such high bills. He has a copy of the bill with him, so I look it over. There is a feature that he wasn’t aware of ($.99 for ringback tones), but that’s it. I point this out to the customer and take the ringback tones off. When I tell him that everything else is taxes and fees, he asks what I’m going to do about it.
Ummm...sorry. If I could do something about taxes, I would’ve done it a long time ago. My advice was to complain to the town, the county and the state. I did move him to a lower priced plan, so at least he wasn’t angry when he left.
Wait...What...?
An older couple come in wanting to start new service. They’re already customers of <carrier> in Canada, but apparently have family down here in Florida, and they want to give them cell phones so it’s easier to stay in touch. Okay, not a problem. That is, until we start talking about the phones. As I’m rattling off features and prices, the lady says to me, “I have to pay for the phones?”
Ummm...yes. To which she says, “I want to start new service. Why do I have to pay for the phones?”
Really, lady? Really?
I point out that the closest I get to a free phone are a couple of basic phones that I can knock the price down on, taking them to $50, so they'd be free after the $50 mail-in rebate. She then starts carrying on about how much she hates rebates.
Needless to say she didn't start new lines of service.
That’s about it for now. Sorry about the length. I'll be posting more later on.
Then there are the customers...
Ah, my dear customers, let me explain something to you: the words can’t and won’t don’t mean the same thing. If I tell you I can’t do something, it doesn’t mean that I don’t want to do it. Nine times out of ten, I’d be willing to do what you want, but I can’t because <carrier> won’t let us. I can’t cancel your service; I don’t have access to billing; I can’t do warranty exchanges; I can’t change your upgrade dates; I do have to charge you $9.99 to transfer the contacts and pictures from your old phone to your new phone. Bitching at me won’t change that.
Also, the next person to say that since they’ve been with <carrier> for fill-in-the-blank years, they deserve a free phone will get the death-glare. You want a new phone, you have to buy the phone. I’ve been with my cable company for as long as I’ve been in Florida, get my television, internet and phone through them, and they ain’t gonna be giving me free service anytime soon.
And I’m sorry I have to charge you a $.99 processing fee to take your bill payment. It used to be $3, so stop complaining. And I’m sorry I don’t have access to billing, so you have to tell me how much you want to pay. If you don’t want to pay a processing fee, then pay it over the phone or through the web site using your credit or debit card. What’s that? You want to pay cash? Then you pay the processing fee or you drive twenty-two miles to the nearest corporate store.
Can’t/Won’t #1
A guy comes in, saying that he doesn’t know if I can help him. He tells me his wife’s phone is damaged, there isn’t insurance on it and it needs to be replaced. I pull up the account and find that she’s not ready to upgrade for about a month. I tell him this. He asks if I can change the date. When I tell him no, I can’t change the upgrade date he gets mad and demands I do something. I inform him again that I can’t change the upgrade date. He storms out, crabbing that he shouldn’t have come to my store.
You come in saying that you don’t know if I can help you, and when I tell you I can’t help you, you get mad. WTF?
Can’t/Won’t #2
An older guy comes in wanting to make changes to his family share plan. Okay, I can do that. He gives me his cell phone number and the last four of the social security number. The computer prompts me for the account password. Problem is the guy doesn’t remember it. (This happens often enough that it doesn’t surprise me anymore.) He tries to call the other person on the plan, but can’t get in touch with him. I suggest that I call customer service so he can talk to them and change the password so I can get into the account and do the plan change. He starts for the door saying that he’ll call customer service since I won’t help him.
You don’t remember your password, so I offer you the means to change the password so I can get into the account, which of course means that I don’t want to help you. Yeah, that makes...wait...what...?
Canada’s A Foreign Country...Really?
A very angry man comes in with problems with his bill. I try and figure out what’s wrong, but can’t figure out what the extra charges are for. My first thought is to get into his account and see what I can spot there. So I ask him for his cell phone number...he gives it to me. I ask for the last four of his social security number...he gives it to me. The computer again prompts for a password...he gives it to me.
While I’m waiting for the account to come up, he leans into me and says, “What else do you want to know...the last time I had sex?”
...whiskey...tango...foxtrot...
In a very quiet voice, I tell him that the system asked for a password. His reply: “I just wanted to show that I had a sense of humor.” Didn’t work, asswipe.
When the account comes up, I don’t see anything that shouldn’t be there, no features that he might have added and forgotten about, nothing that might have been added to his plan by a less-than-scrupulous salesman. I tell him that I have to call customer service, to which he complains that they’re useless; he called them and they couldn’t help him. Well, if you’re talking to them the same way you’re talking to me, it’s not surprising.
I call customer service. One charge was a music download that he had forgotten about. The other charges were international calls. He made calls to Canada. I tell him this and he starts screaming that he never called anyone in Canada. He then says that he made some calls to Ontario and Toronto. He wasn’t happy when I pointed out that Ontario and Toronto were both in Canada and that, yes, Canada is a foreign country.
So What’re You Going To Do About Taxes?
Another older man comes in, complaining that he’s tired of paying such high bills. He has a copy of the bill with him, so I look it over. There is a feature that he wasn’t aware of ($.99 for ringback tones), but that’s it. I point this out to the customer and take the ringback tones off. When I tell him that everything else is taxes and fees, he asks what I’m going to do about it.
Ummm...sorry. If I could do something about taxes, I would’ve done it a long time ago. My advice was to complain to the town, the county and the state. I did move him to a lower priced plan, so at least he wasn’t angry when he left.
Wait...What...?
An older couple come in wanting to start new service. They’re already customers of <carrier> in Canada, but apparently have family down here in Florida, and they want to give them cell phones so it’s easier to stay in touch. Okay, not a problem. That is, until we start talking about the phones. As I’m rattling off features and prices, the lady says to me, “I have to pay for the phones?”
Ummm...yes. To which she says, “I want to start new service. Why do I have to pay for the phones?”
Really, lady? Really?
I point out that the closest I get to a free phone are a couple of basic phones that I can knock the price down on, taking them to $50, so they'd be free after the $50 mail-in rebate. She then starts carrying on about how much she hates rebates.
Needless to say she didn't start new lines of service.
That’s about it for now. Sorry about the length. I'll be posting more later on.
Comment