Keeping your Sarcasm in Check

[Dasota]

At work last night the phone rings, and I answer it, the person on the other end wanted to know the number for another of our chain about 20 minutes down the road from us. I have no idea what the number is since our store owners don't own that one, and I'll be damned to find out, so I told him we didn't have it. And he asked me how he would go about getting the number then if I couldn't give it to me.

It took all my strength to not have my voice drip with sarcasm as I replied back "411, the internet and a phone book are all great options."

I am so proud of myself

[jedimaster91]

I don't think I would have been able to contain the sarcasm.

[Darkwish]

I don't think I would have been able to contain the sarcasm.

I KNOW I wouldn't have!

[mandaliz8704]

Some guy called at my last job asking for the phone number of a competitor. I told him that I didnt have the number because...well, I didn't. His reply was "Can't you just look in the phone book? Geez!"

I said "I would suggest you take your own advice, sir! Have a great day!"

He hung up.

[jedimaster91]

I KNOW I wouldn't have!

Luckily, most of the customers I deal with are too stupid to realize they're bearing the brunt of my scathing sarcasm.

[AnaKhouri]

People think bookstores are the Information Threshold of the Universe. I have been asked:

"What's the number for the newspaper/the store across the street/the library/that other bookstore that is not affiliated in any way with your company?"

(it's always really hard not to say to that last one, "The number is right below ours in the phone book you're looking at right now.")

"Where is library/other bookstore/restaurant/office building/the Plateau of Leng?"

My favorite though, was this:

"What's that song that they always play on 102.3 that goes like, "Craaaaazy..."?"

(on the last one, after being informed I didn't know and perhaps she should call the radio station, demanded the number for the radio station.)

[laundryhater]

Yeah, I've noticed people have gotten really lazy about looking things up for themselves. And then they get pissed if you don't do it for them.

I live in a suburb of the city I work in. But just because I work in the city everyone assumes I must know every street there is to know in the city. And I have no idea why they would assume that seeing as I don't work for the phone company or the post office. I work at the hospital.

Yes, I work at the hospital switchboard and about once or twice a week I get someone calling me wanting driving directions to the hospital from wherever they happen to be calling from.

Now in the spirit of good customer service I really try to give directions the best that I know how. But I don't know every cotton picking street in this city let alone all 10 of its suburb towns nearby! And I sure as heck don't know the streets in the neighboring states (yes, I've had people from out of state call expecting me to give them detailed directions).

The best I can usually do if I don't know the area you're in is tell you okay hop onto I-235 going (eastbound or westbound depending on where they're at) and take the 6th Ave/7th Street Exit. We're 1 block north on 6th Ave.

I think this is good customer service because unless you're a hermit who never leaves your house, everyone here knows where I-235 is because it is a major freeway which runs across our city. You'd have to be a nitwit not to know where it is.

What is wrong with people nowdays that they've never heard of a MAP or maybe MAPQUEST.COM?? Heck most people I know have onstar or GPS in their car.

But nope, their lazy butts can't be bothered. And if you don't give them turn by turn directions they get all huffy.

[edible_hat]

I once learned from experience that there is no non-sarcastic reply to "What do you mean by the yellow wall?" (which was in reply to my tellinc a customer that whatever it was they wanted was "near the yellow wall")

[bainsidhe]

Ooooh, yeah. I had a guy call looking for Staples. I work in manufacturing and we're not even remotely similar to Staples. When I declined to pull Staples's phone number out of my posterior, this gem of a man said sarcastically, "What, you can't look it up on your computer?"

I looked at my computer and at the yahoo search engine that's my main page. "Sorry sir, I'm not able to look that up online".

Really. I have work to do and I'm paid to help our customers, not the twerps that act rude and expect the world to cater to them.

[El Pollo Guerrera]

Yeah, I wouldn't have been able to answer that without a little sarcasm seeping in...

Although I probably would have said "I'm sorry, but there isn't a phone book near this extension... do you have one there?"

Reminds me of a call I got last year (I think... maybe two years ago? The job is destroying my brain...)

EPG: "(store name), how can I help you?"
Caller: "Yeah, is Dave there?"
EPG: "Sorry, there is no one that works here by that name."
Caller: "Wait... this isn't Dave's?"
EPG: "Nope, this is (store name)."
Caller: "Well, do you know his number?"
EPG: "... I know it isn't this one."
Caller: "Oh..."
EPG: "... "
Caller: "... bye."

[lineswine]

The best I can usually do if I don't know the area you're in is tell you okay hop onto I-235 and take the 6th Ave/7th Street Exit. We're 1 block north on 6th Ave.

One quick google & I know where you work...is that cool, or just plain scary?

[fireheart]

Welcome to the Dark Side People.

Evil Queen, Aethian and I have the cookies and all the slaves you want!

[Ironclad Alibi]

One quick google & I know where you work...is that cool, or just plain scary?

Mercy me, that was easy to find, and it is only 1016 miles away from me.

[Stryker One]

Stoners

Reminds me of a call I got last year (I think... maybe two years ago? The job is destroying my brain...)

EPG: "(store name), how can I help you?"
Caller: "Yeah, is Dave there?"
EPG: "Sorry, there is no one that works here by that name."
Caller: "Wait... this isn't Dave's?"
EPG: "Nope, this is (store name)."
Caller: "Well, do you know his number?"
EPG: "... I know it isn't this one."
Caller: "Oh..."
EPG: "... "
Caller: "... bye."

DAVE'S NOT HERE! /Chong