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Wherein I am propositioned for sex.

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  • #1

    Wherein I am propositioned for sex.

    Haven't had anything worth putting up here for a while. But this one story from Saturday stuck in my mind.

    So, it's the weekend and I'm once again at the ticket stand, bored out of my skull. Even with Wolverine playing (which I saw and enjoyed, but that's a different area of discussion) it is slower than usual.

    These two women come up to the stand, early to mid 30ish at the most. And as I'm tearing the first one's ticket this exchange goes down.

    W1: woman 1
    W2: woman 2
    Me: Thourougly wierded out.

    W1: I like your salad.
    Me: What? Thinking: We don't sell salad's at the concession stand, unless we started a new, low sugar, low salt, low artery clogging trend at the theatre. And nor am i currently holding a salad.

    So I have no idea what she's talking about and dismiss her for the nutcase that she most likely is. W2 comes up and adds the last little bit.

    W2: Tossed.

    And then the dirty feeling hits me. Salad. Tossed. Tossed salad. Uh-huh. Well excuse me while I go take a cold shower and then douse my genitals in gasoline.
    I related the story to my coworkers just to make sure that tossed salad ment the same thing to all of us. Sure enough, it did. And thus i was resolved to spending the rest of the evening in self loathing.

    God I hate the public sometimes.
    Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.

    Christopher Titus.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Why than you miss Sanchez. Whoops, dropped your ticket and it got all dirty.

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    • #3
      It's probably the type of thing that gets me in trouble, but the first thing I had pop into my head was a paraphrase of a Carlin quote...

      "I wouldn't fark you with a stolen dick, ladies."

      /runs away giggling
      "That's too bad. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through."
      "What IS fun to fight through?"
      "Gardens. Electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy."

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      • #4
        I've been propsed to a couple of times, but never a sexual advance.
        "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

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        • #5
          That reminds of me this past Saturday night....my friend is moving away and was having a get together at one of the local bars and I figured I'd just cough up $10 and spend a couple of hours there, no harm done.

          I walk in, greet my friends, and head to the bar to order a drink.

          No sooner did I approach the bar, this creepy guy who had to be my father's age, if not older, proceeds to put his arm around me (UUUUGHHH!) and drunkenly slur "Welll heyyy there beaauuutiful, whatcha drinkin?"

          I snarled at him "Don't fucking touch me!" and guess what? His stupid drunk self LAUGHED at me and put his arm around me AGAIN and tried to tell the bartender to get me a shot to "simmer down".

          Thankfully, I know all the bartenders and bouncers at that bar, and I said to the bartender "Luke, if you don't get this creepy old fuck away from me, there is going to be blood." And Luke told the guy to chill out and get away from me.

          It wasn't much long after that that creepy fuck found another young thing to harass, a very angry boyfriend got involved, and creepy fuck was thrown out. Whew.
          You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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          • #6
            I got propositioned by a guy while I worked for IdleAire. What made that worse, to me at least, is that I am a guy, and so was this douchebag.

            I worked the midnight shift, and one of the things we were supposed to do, other than babysit the people that were in out spaces, was to do a lot count every four hours. Now, before I continue, let me tell you about the IdleAire uniform; white collared shirt, brown pants, shorts if it is summer, shoes, and a YELLOW REFLECTIVE VEST THAT SAYS "IDLEAIRE" ON IT!!!

            Now, I was doing my lot count at 4 am, and the dude flashes his lights at me. Now, since no one had told me that was the signal for "I want a hooker", I went up to his truck and started asking questions. When I saw that he had no interest in IdleAire, I bid him farewell, and went on with my night. Now, mistake number 1 for me was to even acknowledge his existence, but since IdleAire was doing poorly at the time, and still is for that matter, I thought I should be trying to sell on the midnight shift.

            After a few minutes, he comes up to the equipment center, where the midnight shift spent most of the night, and asked me where he could find some women. I flat out told him that I wasn't interested in that sort of thing, which was mistake number 2 for me. Then he asked me about men. My eyes got as big as dinner plates, and I told him that I had a job to get back to. 20 minutes later, he CALLS FOR ME ON THE RADIO FREQUENCY WE MONITOR!!! He asks when I am coming back out for my next lot count. I said that I had done the last one for the night, and as long as he was there, I was not coming back out. He then asks me if he can come see ME. From there, I'm scared and pissed, and I tell him that if he continues on like this, I would be calling the police on for attempting to solicit prostitution from me. He doesn't bother me for the rest of the night, and I don't leave the building until shift changeover, at 8am.

            Unfortunately, the equipment center has a camera; they spy on employees who stay inside that building. So, I leave a note for my boss, explaining why I stayed in the building from 4 to 8 am. And, since it was Saturday, not a lot of people left the IdleAire spots, so there weren't many modules for the next guy to clean.

            Still, that was horrifying and disturbing to me for a couple days. I actually wondered if I was that unattractive to women for a few days, until the cute girl at the register at the travel center started flirting with me. I honestly believe that, though we both knew her flirting was meaningless, she knew that I was down about something, and she wanted to cheer me up.

            And that is why I will never take another job where I work midnights at a truckstop. Too many horny weirdos.
            Last edited by Hitokiri Akins; 05-05-2009, 08:01 PM.
            The customer is not always right. Most of the time, the customer is a clueless moron. If this offends you, you are this moron.

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            • #7
              heh... i'm reminded of one of my co-workers. she knew another coworker would hop in bed with her in half a second if she asked. her exact words, "I'd rather be a lesbian."

              i can just see someone saying that to them...
              w1 & w2: <tossed salad comment>
              male reply: Sex with you? I'd rather be gay.

              what are they going to do? complain to the manager that you were rude for not drooling over their creepy sexual offers? actually they probably would but that's when you call mall security over...and have them explain their actions.

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              • #8
                "Hi ma'am, I heard you're going to Cleveland...on a steamer."
                Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                • #9
                  Urm, 'scuse my innocence here, but I don't quite get the tossed salad thing.

                  ...Yeah.
                  Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.-Winston Churchill

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                  • #10
                    I made the mistake of looking it up - click at your own risk!!
                    clicky

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                    • #11
                      Multi-faceted

                      Quoth Hitokiri Akins View Post
                      What made that worse, to me at least, is that I share a gender with this douchebag.

                      A gender? How many do you have?

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                      • #12
                        Quoth ralerin View Post
                        Urm, 'scuse my innocence here, but I don't quite get the tossed salad thing.

                        ...Yeah.
                        Warning you; this definition is graphic. Have the brain bleach ready...

                        Tossed Salad.
                        People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
                        My DeviantArt.

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                        • #13
                          Mmm, makes a lot more sense now.

                          Although I'm semi curious as to what definition of the phrase the SCs were talking about-the second one or the very last one? Either way...
                          Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.-Winston Churchill

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                          • #14
                            so about 2 months ago i was serving a few guys. the beer was flowing and they were having a grand ole time so i decided to "chum it up" a bit with them since the restaurant was dying and i only had one other table left.
                            Well... evidently one of the guys decided i was a cute piece of man meat... and he left me his number on the tab.
                            I immediately went back to the kitchen and taunted a gay co-worker that i was more attractive than him.

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Stryker One View Post
                              A gender? How many do you have?
                              3.

                              Seriously though, I'll fix that in my post.
                              The customer is not always right. Most of the time, the customer is a clueless moron. If this offends you, you are this moron.

                              Comment

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