Customer attempts at describing people

[Victoria J]

Today I gained a new odd euphemism for fat. Apparently a customer came in this morning, when unusually I was not working with the public but trying to clear some paperwork, and so the receptionist started playing the game of trying to work out who he'd seen.

Apparently I'm the "healthy" one.

At least when they describe me as "the big girl" it does actually help the receptionist work out it's me.

However many people try to be polite and won't mention size, and a lot will also do absolutely anything to avoid mentioning race. On top of that you get the quite insane descriptions - which is what makes the guessing game so fun

Some of my favourites :

The British Guy. Now co-worker N is in fact British (all but 2 of us are), though he was not born here and is obviously of asian decent. As a description it is correct but very very unhelpful. N quite liked it though

The really tall man. This was N again, he's also about 5 foot 4 or so. When I finally worked out who they wanted I blurted out "N ? Really tall ?" and the customer said "Oh. I mean really short don't I!".

Actually N gets a lot of these. His personal favourite was the person who just kept insisting he was the manager (he isn't).

I had someone recently call up and ask for "Mongo. He's Greek" - we don't have a Mongo. We have a Miguel, he's Spanish.

The Spanish woman. G is actually German.

The American woman. Me. The same week someone told me my voice sounded like the queen (meant as a compliment from a client obviously not used to even a voice as very very slightly "posh" as mine. I do NOT sound like the queen).

The young woman. P - who had to retire because she was 65, this was less than a year before she retired. She did look no more than 45, but still not one of the younger workers.

Then there are the just plain wrong - the blonde adviser who has brown hair, the tall black adviser who was neither.

Then there are things like "the woman with the hair"

Names don't help. I was really really confused about the constance calls (from different people) for Michelle. No Michelles here. There is another asian worker, a Ms. Shah.

The most mysterious was the recent person who claimed they'd been seen by "the man" - when the 4 people running the service in question were all woman. He really had been seen by one of us, and he wasn't trying to lie about what we'd said so that was a bit

And that's not including the "other person" who mysteriously told them what they wanted to hear.

Victoria J

[wagegoth]

I like the description from the No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency: traditionally built.

[Aisling]

Maybe you should get a poster with pics of everyone to hang behind reception? People could just point at one and grunt. :P

Wouldn't help with phone calls though, but still.

[wagegoth]

For me, it's too easy: I'm the only redhead.

[bloodrose]

The really tall man. This was N again, he's also about 5 foot 4 or so. When I finally worked out who they wanted I blurted out "N ? Really tall ?" and the customer said "Oh. I mean really short don't I!".

I'm five feet tall exactly. Everyone is tall to me. My ex was 5'8" and I repeatedly called him tall and he kept reminding me that he was of average height. My current is actually tall according to everyone else. But, what would I know? They're all tall to me.

[Ill_Used_Heroine]

Just last week and this week, I've been described twice as that blonde girl. Except my hair is dark brown.

[Amina516]

At my job, for some reason and Im guessing its to be politically correct, most of my coworkers will not mention race when trying to describe someone to someone else but that ends up in no one knowing theyre talking about. So its easier, like if theyre speaking about me for istance, if they just say "the spanish one" or something like that. I happen to be the only spanish one there , so yes it would help greatly.

[Lady Legira]

I'm five feet tall exactly. Everyone is tall to me. My ex was 5'8" and I repeatedly called him tall and he kept reminding me that he was of average height. My current is actually tall according to everyone else. But, what would I know? They're all tall to me.

You'd like me, I'm only 4'11" My twin is 5 foot too but her Boyfriend is the really tall one, he's 6'7". We use him as a height marker as in "oh that guy was tall, he was nearly as tall as H (her fella)"

[Boozy]

At my first job, a customer made a complaint about "the anorexic-looking girl" treating her badly.

My boss called me into his office and said he got a complaint about me. We were both surprised, because I have always prided myself on great customer service. Usually customer feedback about me is positive. I asked my boss what made him think the complaint was about me, and he shared the customer's description.

Turns out, the "anorexic" girl was my co-worker, since I hadn't even worked the day in question.

So the customer didn't describe me as "anorexic", but my boss essentially did.

He never apologized, either.

[TawnyMyst]

For me it's very easy, I'm the only female to work in the shop ever. It's easy to tell on the phone and the radio. My problem is that so many of the guys sound the same on the radio I can't tell who I'm talking to.

[draftermatt]

Some people are just colorblind and/or stupid.

I worked with a guy who had dark black hair. But he swore his hair was "brown"

I have medium brown hair (used to at least till the gray started) and to him my hair was "dirty blond"

My wife has light brown hair (naturally) but she's a "blond"

He actually argued with me about my hair color once, for a good 10 minutes until I gave up.

[lineswine]

You'd like me, I'm only 4'11"

Awww, how cute! (says the guy who makes 5'1" on a good day)

[simplyanother]

At work, we had two women with the same name. Both women are tall, and built about the same, at the time both women had the same position (cashier), they often worked at the same time and both appear to be about the same age. One is a black woman, the other is a white woman.

It got to be ridiculous (no examples right now, my brain is fried).
People would go to such lengths to avoid mentioning race, it was hilarious. And sad.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I have been "the woman with the hair." I have a lot of hair, it's very nice hair, and it's got a witchlock. I've always been "the woman/girl with the hair" wherever I worked.

"healthy" is a southern way (I guess it's southern, we say it down here) of saying a girl has some curves and some meat on her.

I've been "The librarian", "glasses," "that Cher-looking woman", or any plethora of references to my real or imagined ethnicity.

The husband, who has also been "The guy with the hair", has been "the mixed-looking guy" "Slash" and, my favorite, "Edward Scissorhands."

Some people would try to avoid referring to race, some would avoid referring to size (or else use the word "healthy" or "robust" to refer to my co workers. ) But I'd say most people don't It's perfectly reasonable to say "The black guy" when you are differentiating between two races, or a lot of folks say "the african american gentleman" or whatever.

Me, I'll say the "The black guy" in a heartbeat, I don't care.

[bammertheblue]

After reading this thread I no longer think I'm horrible at describing people. I can get gender, race, height, build, hair color, AND distinguishing characteristics! I must be a genius.