Suddenly forgot how to speak English

[edible_hat]

This Indian (from India) guy came into the store.

SC: (with slight Indian accent, obviously changed by many years living in Australia) "Can I please have an empty coke bottle or something to put petrol in?"
Me: "You can't put petrol in a coke bottle, it's not an approved container. It would be illegal and dangerous because petrol can dissolve some plastics."

Off he goes, only to come back with a Coke bottle which he tried to put petrol in. I of course didn't authorise the pump. So he moved to a different pump. I didn't authorise that either. And then he came into the store.

SC: (in a strong, stereotypical Indian accent) "Let me get some petrol thanyou sir."
Me: "I told you, you can't put petrol in a coke bottle."
SC: "Sorry my English not very good thankyou sir." (leaves)

And yes, I am certain it was the same guy. Or it's a massive coincidence that a second guy of the same height, body shape and ethnic group and wearing the same clothes as the first guy tried to do exactly the same thing that I told the first guy he couldn't do.

[fireheart]

Is he related to the same guy who tries to use an unsigned credit card, claiming that because it's in his country, he doesn't sign it, so it's valid?!

[smileyeagle1021]

ah, the conveniently forgetting English customer... I love those. I get them all the time... they have flawless, accentless, english, until I try to explain that if they smoke in the room it's a $200 fine... all the sudden the only words they know in english are "no speak english" and "no understand".

[Bliss]

all the sudden the only words they know in english are "no speak english" and "no understand".

Simple answer, correct enough and will lure many to going back into english "Don't worry sir/ma'am, we will charge the fine wether you understand or not"

[bookishfreak]

Or just the opposite...the customer that doesn't speak a single word of English...until the price is off...then suddenly, their English is perfect.

[blas]

Ahh, just like the Hmong guy that I rear ended last summer (well, more like tapped, since it was at less than 5 mph).

He got out of his car and threw a hissy fit in almost perfect English, screaming at me.

But then of course, when he dialed 911 (911! For a very very slight accident that caused no bodily harm or extreme damage!) he all of a sudden could barely speak English. He just kept yelling "Accident! Car accident!"

And of course, he kept up the "no speak English" routine the entire time the police were at the scene. Wow, way to play it up, buddy.

And I still see him at work at times, in the hallways. And he speaks in almost perfect English (very slightly broken English with an accent, obviously, but his English is obviously proficient!). Wow. Way to go, asshole.

[Mr Hero]

ah, the conveniently forgetting English customer... I love those. I get them all the time... they have flawless, accentless, english, until I try to explain that if they smoke in the room it's a $200 fine... all the sudden the only words they know in english are "no speak english" and "no understand".

Wow, $200? At my hotel it's only $75.

[Golden Phoenix]

ah, the conveniently forgetting English customer... I love those. I get them all the time... they have flawless, accentless, english, until I try to explain that if they smoke in the room it's a $200 fine... all the sudden the only words they know in english are "no speak english" and "no understand".

I get them too. Perfect english until i explain who i am and why we're having this little chat, it comes with being a debt collector i guess.

[sirwired]

Random story of me flagrantly violating Federal Law by dispensing gasoline into an unapproved container. While I was at it, I broke New Jersey law too.

I was riding in a U-Haul with my college roommate to NYC so he could unload some stuff at a friends apartment. While approaching the Holland Tunnel, the U-Haul ran out of gas in the middle of an intersection. (Roommate was driving...)

If anybody is familiar with the Holland Tunnel approach, that stretch of road is wall-to-wall gas stations.

Lacking a gas can, I took an empty Snapple bottle, walked to a gas station, and proceeded to fill it up with 16oz of diesel. I then hand fifty cents to the VERY confused attendant and hightail it back into the intersection to dump the bottle into the tank. This is successful, and we have enough gas to get the truck itself into a gas station.

Two laws broken here: A Snapple bottle is obviously unapproved (although it was glass, so that isn't as bad as a plastic bottle), and in NJ, you can't pump your own gas.

After we filled it up, we pull back into the traffic stream, and proceed to get sideswiped by some tool driving a beat-up K-Car. He has the gall to take down our info, and then drive off. Good luck with that insurance claim, moron. (No damage to the U-Haul; caved in his fender while doing nothing more to the truck than scuffing the bumper paint.)

All this while we are eventually trying to get to JFK to catch a flight to Taiwan.

What a day that was...

SirWired

[edible_hat]

A Snapple bottle is obviously unapproved (although it was glass, so that isn't as bad as a plastic bottle)

The reason glass is banned is that it could break if you drop it.

[smileyeagle1021]

Wow, $200? At my hotel it's only $75.

you have to remember, we have to comply with the Utah Clean Indoor Air Act... if we are going to call it a non-smoking room there can't be even a hint of smoking smell... we are a 100% non smoking property... so every time someone smokes in a room we have to take it out of inventory for at least 24 hours for the chemicals and the ionizer to get rid of every trace of cigarette smell (supposedly... we've before done it in much less time than that and gotten away with it, but technically it should take 24 hours... and we tell guests that a lot of the fine is paying for the rooms downtime).

[jedimaster91]

I had an incident with this kind of SC yesterday. Two kids who I believe were from Somalia were sitting together on one of our computers. If I can tell they're working on homework or something, I'll usually let it slide even though it's really against policy. But these two were being loud. I don't tolarate that in my lab. So I reminded them that they can't sit together and one of them gives me the "Whatever-I-don't-have-to-listen-to-you" look and they both ignore me and keep talking to each other in whatever language they speak. By that point, I was cranky from a long and stressful day, and since I'd seen the two kids before, I know they know the rules. In fact, I think I've separated them before. Anywho, I wasn't in the mood to deal with them and went straight to security. Kids got a 3-day ban and I was happy.

Sorry to threadjack, but the pretending to not speak/understand English when they obviously do really torques my noodle.

[PepperElf]

ah, the conveniently forgetting English customer... I love those. I get them all the time... they have flawless, accentless, english, until I try to explain that if they smoke in the room it's a $200 fine... all the sudden the only words they know in english are "no speak english" and "no understand".

that's easy to fix.

Draw a smoking cigarette ... next to it write $200 and a very sad face.

if they keep insisting. Draw the cigaratte and some handcuffs

[Slytovhand]

that's easy to fix.

Draw a smoking cigarette ... next to it write $200 and a very sad face.

if they keep insisting. Draw the cigaratte and some handcuffs

But... if they can't speak english, they probably can't read it either....

[AriRashkae]

Everyone speaks $$$$.