Tweet
My New Friends
The phone rings.
Me: *Pub name*
Lady: Hi there. I work at *rival pub down the street*. We've just had a group of four guys in, and we've had to throw them out. They were throwing things around, abusing the staff, jumping over the bar and being VERY threatening. We called the police and they bolted. I think they are heading in your direction.
Me: Oh my God. Thanks for letting me know. What do they look like?
Lady: They just look like your average joes. Trust me, you will know them when they enter.
Me: OK then, thanks.
Lady: No problem.
I informed all the staff. I then went to look at the camera feed for outside (you get a very good view of the street) and saw them. I knew it was them right away just from the way they were walking. Sometimes you just know from the way a group walks that they are going to cause trouble. A co-worker runs up to me.
CW: I think that's them!
Me: OK, I'll handle...
SC: AM I GOING TO GET SOME SERVICE HERE OR WHAT??
Yes, they had been at the bar for less than a second, it was not their turn, and they were shouting. I went over.
Me: I'm sorry guys, I've just got off the phone with *rival pub* and I know what you've been up to. You will not be getting served in here tonight.
SC: What?!?! But we haven't been...
Before he could even finish his sentence, one of his friends jumped in.
SC2: YOU MAKE ME SICK!!!!
And that was it. They walked out! I was prepared for a full scale war! Co-worker turned to me.
CW: Customersruinmylife, I have never met someone who makes as many friends at work as you do!
At last! Karma!
The pub had closed, and a few of us were sat on the couches next to the windows having a beer. A drunk angry lady and her very quiet boyfriend walked past the windows. Upon seeing us sat there, she tried the doors. No luck. She came over to the window and started slapping her hand against it.
Me: I'm sorry, we're closed.
SC: I DON'T FUCKING CARE! YOU ARE GOING TO LET ME IN FOR A DRINK THIS FUCKING INSTANT!
Me: Yeah...that's not working for me!
We ignored her and carried on drinking. She carried on slapping her hand against the window, shouting to be let in. Then it was both hands. Next thing we knew, she was slapping her hands against the window with such force that her body was bouncing backwards. I got my phone out, ready to call the cops...
...suddenly, she slapped the window so hard that she sent herself flying backwards, and in her drunken state, couldn't steady herself. She fell right on her arse. I should also mention that to enter the pub, you need to walk up a slope. She started rolling down the slope! Her boyfriend was powerless to catch her.
I am not kidding, it was one of the funniest sights I have ever seen. She eventually came to a stop, and lay there completely still for a couple of seconds. Co-workers and me stopped laughing out of fear she might be dead. But she got up, her knees were skinned and bloody, and she wanted round 2. Her boyfriend had had enough and walked off.
The SC ran after him, pleading with him not to leave her.
Co-workers and me resumed laughing.
The phone rings.
Me: *Pub name*
Lady: Hi there. I work at *rival pub down the street*. We've just had a group of four guys in, and we've had to throw them out. They were throwing things around, abusing the staff, jumping over the bar and being VERY threatening. We called the police and they bolted. I think they are heading in your direction.
Me: Oh my God. Thanks for letting me know. What do they look like?
Lady: They just look like your average joes. Trust me, you will know them when they enter.
Me: OK then, thanks.
Lady: No problem.
I informed all the staff. I then went to look at the camera feed for outside (you get a very good view of the street) and saw them. I knew it was them right away just from the way they were walking. Sometimes you just know from the way a group walks that they are going to cause trouble. A co-worker runs up to me.
CW: I think that's them!
Me: OK, I'll handle...
SC: AM I GOING TO GET SOME SERVICE HERE OR WHAT??
Yes, they had been at the bar for less than a second, it was not their turn, and they were shouting. I went over.
Me: I'm sorry guys, I've just got off the phone with *rival pub* and I know what you've been up to. You will not be getting served in here tonight.
SC: What?!?! But we haven't been...
Before he could even finish his sentence, one of his friends jumped in.
SC2: YOU MAKE ME SICK!!!!
And that was it. They walked out! I was prepared for a full scale war! Co-worker turned to me.
CW: Customersruinmylife, I have never met someone who makes as many friends at work as you do!
At last! Karma!
The pub had closed, and a few of us were sat on the couches next to the windows having a beer. A drunk angry lady and her very quiet boyfriend walked past the windows. Upon seeing us sat there, she tried the doors. No luck. She came over to the window and started slapping her hand against it.
Me: I'm sorry, we're closed.
SC: I DON'T FUCKING CARE! YOU ARE GOING TO LET ME IN FOR A DRINK THIS FUCKING INSTANT!
Me: Yeah...that's not working for me!
We ignored her and carried on drinking. She carried on slapping her hand against the window, shouting to be let in. Then it was both hands. Next thing we knew, she was slapping her hands against the window with such force that her body was bouncing backwards. I got my phone out, ready to call the cops...
...suddenly, she slapped the window so hard that she sent herself flying backwards, and in her drunken state, couldn't steady herself. She fell right on her arse. I should also mention that to enter the pub, you need to walk up a slope. She started rolling down the slope! Her boyfriend was powerless to catch her.
I am not kidding, it was one of the funniest sights I have ever seen. She eventually came to a stop, and lay there completely still for a couple of seconds. Co-workers and me stopped laughing out of fear she might be dead. But she got up, her knees were skinned and bloody, and she wanted round 2. Her boyfriend had had enough and walked off.
The SC ran after him, pleading with him not to leave her.
Co-workers and me resumed laughing.
Comment