Tweet
Yeah, I know. This format has been stolen before.
I started taking notes at work. Here's the results for this week.
Waiting Game
So much of our lives seem to be spent waiting for something.
Today, I'm waiting for a wire to come in so that I can set up a CD for Customer A.
I'm waiting for Customer B's insurance company to fax me his current proof of insurance. We received a lapse notice, but when I called, they said it was paid and would fax me the proof. Now I've got the fax, and it still says it's expiring today. I call the agent this time, and he says it's been renewed, but it's at the underwriter. So now I'm waiting for proof of insurance from the agent.
I'm waiting for Customer C's insurance agent to fax me a change on their insurance. We received a notice today that we had been removed from the homeowners' insurance because they were informed that we "no longer have an interest" in the property. But we do still have a mortgage. It's not paid off. So the agent said he would add us back on and fax us the proof.
I'm waiting for the originating bank of the loan for Customer D to get back to me whether there is a service fee on the portion we've purchased. And if there is, they need to redo the agreement and send me the corrected copy. Only after I receive that can I process the extension of Customer D's loan.
I'm waiting for the originating bank (different from above) of the loan for Customer E to get back to me regarding the last payment and whether they sent us too much money. When we apply the payment, it doesn't match up with what they say we should have. I can adjust the mainframe so that we match up, but then is this going to happen with every payment? Are we off somewhere? If so, it's better that we catch it sooner rather than later.
I'm waiting for Customer F's insurance agent to fax me current proof of insurance. I had to call them because we didn't receive renewal info in the mail.
Well, that was pointless
Huh? What? I can't hear you. Stop! I can hear you now. Don't. Move. Who do you want to speak to? I'm sorry, she's on another line. Would you like her voicemail? No? Shall I give her a message? You don't know your cell phone number? Ok... You'll call back? Ok then, bye.
Same Guy
Now inside the bank, on his cell phone. (Everybody gets crappy reception inside the building.)
C: Honey? Honey! What's my number? I need to know my cell phone number. <closes phone> She couldn't hear me.
Me: You need to know the number for that phone? Give it here. I'll find it. <He hands me the phone.>
Me: <10 seconds later> It's ###-###-####. I'll show you where to find it. <I'm too friggin nice.>
Then he starts laying the sob story on the loan officer he was there to see. He needs the loan to live on. The collections on his credit report were his kids' fault, but they were already taken care of (obviously not, or they wouldn't still be on his credit report). That he had borrowed $10 for gas from a neighbor to get here.
After about 10 minutes of this (it was after closing time and I could tell the LO was trying to get him to leave), I went into the back room and dialed her extension.
LO: Good afternoon, this is LO. How can I help you?
Me: This is an urgent telephone call for you, so you have an excuse to get your customer to leave. <I see him getting up to go.>
LO: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Squeaky Wheel
I've been having essentially the same conversation with this customer every month for the last year (rates haven't changed much).
C: Hey, Ghel. I've got a CD coming due this week. What rate can you give me?
M: Our normal rate for that term CD is x.xx%.
C: Come on, you can do better than that.
M: Well, since you have so much on deposit with us, we can give you what we gave you last month, y.yy%. (Which is about .50% higher than x.xx%.)
C: Rates still haven't changed, huh?
M: Nope.
C: I've got another CD coming due next month. Do you think rates will come up by then?
M: Hopefully, but I don't know.
C: Okay, okay. But you'll give me that better rate on this one?
M: Yes, and I'll mail you a printout after it's done.
C: Oh, thank you so much.
The thing that bothers me about this is that only a few customers get these good rates - those with a significant amount of money on deposit, and who specifically ask for a better rate. Everybody else gets the crappy rates.
Now click. Not there! You fool!
About once a year, the bank president calls me into his office to teach him (again) how to transfer files from his desktop pc to his laptop using his thumb drive. It's simple: insert drive, click & drag, take thumb drive to laptop, click & drag in the opposite direction. I give him these simple instructions every time. He even writes it down. But when he needs to do it again, he has to ask again, because he's forgotten how to do it. <sigh>
Praying to the God of Loans
One of our customers who is notorious for not paying her loan made her payment today. One LO said "hallelujah!" She told us, "no invitation to pay this week," meaning that we don't have to send her a past due notice. The other LO said, "it's a miracle!" It almost makes me believe that somewhere out there is a deity who actually cares whether our customers pay their debts. Almost.
How Times Have Changed
Little old lady to coworker: "It used to be that you'd come home from church and put on an apron. Now, I get home from church and I change into my jeans."
Ah, for the innocence of yesteryear. Or is that "gender inequality"?
Freudian Slip
The address is Domination Drive? Can you spell that for me? D-O-M-I-N-I-O-N? Dominion Drive? Ok. <I'm not sure that's any better.>
What am I, chopped liver?
This chubby guy in a polo shirt with a dayplanner tucked under his arm walks up to my desk (mine is closest to the front door).
CG: I'd like to speak to the business manager or owner. <No introduction, no "please," not even a "hi.">
Me: Gone to lunch.
CG: When will they be back.
Me: Around 12:30. <This was at 11:30.>
CG: <Looks at clock.> Are they in every day?
Me: Yeah.
CG: Then I'll stop by next week when I come through again.
Me: That's fine.
I can't stand it when people automatically ask for an officer, a manager, or something like that. Like I'm not good enough for him to talk to. And he was so obviously a salesman that I didn't really care - I just wanted him to leave. If he thinks it's a waste of his time to talk to me instead of a manager, then it's a waste of my time (and anybody else's) to talk to him.
We only put up with you because you have money.
Ugly old fart: "I want to cash in these savings bonds. Who knows how much longer the government's going to have money to pay them. You can leave the names of my future wives off that check and just make it out to me. I'm gonna take it over to that other bank, where they're offering half a percent more than you."
"I'm gonna advertise for a wife in the paper. Problem is, I don't think anybody will take me."
"It's snowing again. Anybody who lives around here has got to be crazy."
At least he was cleaner than usual. He had shaved, his nails were trimmed and clean, and he didn't stink.
What Bank?
I get these calls all the time:
Me: Good morning, this is Ghel. <This is after the automated shpiel including the bank's name.>
C: Hi, I'm in California [or Florida, or Georgia, or Massachusets] and there's this property I want to buy [or I got this notice from my landlord, or I'm a real estate agent]. I see that your bank is foreclosing on the property. Who can I talk to about that?
Me: I'm sorry, which bank were you looking for?
C: <Wrong Bank Name, which is has most of the same words as our bank name, but in a different order>
Me: We're <Correct Bank Name>, and we're not affiliated with <Wrong Bank Name>. We're just a community bank located in northern Minnesota, and we don't have any loans in California.
C: But I found this number on the internet.
Me: Sorry, you've got the wrong bank. Good luck!
What's it worth?
A customer was joking around with one of my coworkers:
C: Guard my money with your life!
CW: My life isn't worth that much!
The Board Report
Today I was making copies of the board report, which takes all afternoon and is really boring. The cover of each section and the minutes from last month's meeting have to be single-sided, and the rest of the pages have to be double sided (which I think is about the most nitpicky thing, but I won't argue with the directors). I have to babysit the copier in case it jams, and I feel like I'm killing a tree with all that paper it uses. Then I have to double-punch the holes in each one so that the holes are wider than normal (also nitpicky).
Well, that rounds out my week.
I started taking notes at work. Here's the results for this week.
Waiting Game
So much of our lives seem to be spent waiting for something.
Today, I'm waiting for a wire to come in so that I can set up a CD for Customer A.
I'm waiting for Customer B's insurance company to fax me his current proof of insurance. We received a lapse notice, but when I called, they said it was paid and would fax me the proof. Now I've got the fax, and it still says it's expiring today. I call the agent this time, and he says it's been renewed, but it's at the underwriter. So now I'm waiting for proof of insurance from the agent.
I'm waiting for Customer C's insurance agent to fax me a change on their insurance. We received a notice today that we had been removed from the homeowners' insurance because they were informed that we "no longer have an interest" in the property. But we do still have a mortgage. It's not paid off. So the agent said he would add us back on and fax us the proof.
I'm waiting for the originating bank of the loan for Customer D to get back to me whether there is a service fee on the portion we've purchased. And if there is, they need to redo the agreement and send me the corrected copy. Only after I receive that can I process the extension of Customer D's loan.
I'm waiting for the originating bank (different from above) of the loan for Customer E to get back to me regarding the last payment and whether they sent us too much money. When we apply the payment, it doesn't match up with what they say we should have. I can adjust the mainframe so that we match up, but then is this going to happen with every payment? Are we off somewhere? If so, it's better that we catch it sooner rather than later.
I'm waiting for Customer F's insurance agent to fax me current proof of insurance. I had to call them because we didn't receive renewal info in the mail.
Well, that was pointless
Huh? What? I can't hear you. Stop! I can hear you now. Don't. Move. Who do you want to speak to? I'm sorry, she's on another line. Would you like her voicemail? No? Shall I give her a message? You don't know your cell phone number? Ok... You'll call back? Ok then, bye.
Same Guy
Now inside the bank, on his cell phone. (Everybody gets crappy reception inside the building.)
C: Honey? Honey! What's my number? I need to know my cell phone number. <closes phone> She couldn't hear me.
Me: You need to know the number for that phone? Give it here. I'll find it. <He hands me the phone.>
Me: <10 seconds later> It's ###-###-####. I'll show you where to find it. <I'm too friggin nice.>
Then he starts laying the sob story on the loan officer he was there to see. He needs the loan to live on. The collections on his credit report were his kids' fault, but they were already taken care of (obviously not, or they wouldn't still be on his credit report). That he had borrowed $10 for gas from a neighbor to get here.
After about 10 minutes of this (it was after closing time and I could tell the LO was trying to get him to leave), I went into the back room and dialed her extension.
LO: Good afternoon, this is LO. How can I help you?
Me: This is an urgent telephone call for you, so you have an excuse to get your customer to leave. <I see him getting up to go.>
LO: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Squeaky Wheel
I've been having essentially the same conversation with this customer every month for the last year (rates haven't changed much).
C: Hey, Ghel. I've got a CD coming due this week. What rate can you give me?
M: Our normal rate for that term CD is x.xx%.
C: Come on, you can do better than that.
M: Well, since you have so much on deposit with us, we can give you what we gave you last month, y.yy%. (Which is about .50% higher than x.xx%.)
C: Rates still haven't changed, huh?
M: Nope.
C: I've got another CD coming due next month. Do you think rates will come up by then?
M: Hopefully, but I don't know.
C: Okay, okay. But you'll give me that better rate on this one?
M: Yes, and I'll mail you a printout after it's done.
C: Oh, thank you so much.
The thing that bothers me about this is that only a few customers get these good rates - those with a significant amount of money on deposit, and who specifically ask for a better rate. Everybody else gets the crappy rates.
Now click. Not there! You fool!
About once a year, the bank president calls me into his office to teach him (again) how to transfer files from his desktop pc to his laptop using his thumb drive. It's simple: insert drive, click & drag, take thumb drive to laptop, click & drag in the opposite direction. I give him these simple instructions every time. He even writes it down. But when he needs to do it again, he has to ask again, because he's forgotten how to do it. <sigh>
Praying to the God of Loans
One of our customers who is notorious for not paying her loan made her payment today. One LO said "hallelujah!" She told us, "no invitation to pay this week," meaning that we don't have to send her a past due notice. The other LO said, "it's a miracle!" It almost makes me believe that somewhere out there is a deity who actually cares whether our customers pay their debts. Almost.
How Times Have Changed
Little old lady to coworker: "It used to be that you'd come home from church and put on an apron. Now, I get home from church and I change into my jeans."
Ah, for the innocence of yesteryear. Or is that "gender inequality"?
Freudian Slip
The address is Domination Drive? Can you spell that for me? D-O-M-I-N-I-O-N? Dominion Drive? Ok. <I'm not sure that's any better.>
What am I, chopped liver?
This chubby guy in a polo shirt with a dayplanner tucked under his arm walks up to my desk (mine is closest to the front door).
CG: I'd like to speak to the business manager or owner. <No introduction, no "please," not even a "hi.">
Me: Gone to lunch.
CG: When will they be back.
Me: Around 12:30. <This was at 11:30.>
CG: <Looks at clock.> Are they in every day?
Me: Yeah.
CG: Then I'll stop by next week when I come through again.
Me: That's fine.
I can't stand it when people automatically ask for an officer, a manager, or something like that. Like I'm not good enough for him to talk to. And he was so obviously a salesman that I didn't really care - I just wanted him to leave. If he thinks it's a waste of his time to talk to me instead of a manager, then it's a waste of my time (and anybody else's) to talk to him.
We only put up with you because you have money.
Ugly old fart: "I want to cash in these savings bonds. Who knows how much longer the government's going to have money to pay them. You can leave the names of my future wives off that check and just make it out to me. I'm gonna take it over to that other bank, where they're offering half a percent more than you."
"I'm gonna advertise for a wife in the paper. Problem is, I don't think anybody will take me."
"It's snowing again. Anybody who lives around here has got to be crazy."
At least he was cleaner than usual. He had shaved, his nails were trimmed and clean, and he didn't stink.
What Bank?
I get these calls all the time:
Me: Good morning, this is Ghel. <This is after the automated shpiel including the bank's name.>
C: Hi, I'm in California [or Florida, or Georgia, or Massachusets] and there's this property I want to buy [or I got this notice from my landlord, or I'm a real estate agent]. I see that your bank is foreclosing on the property. Who can I talk to about that?
Me: I'm sorry, which bank were you looking for?
C: <Wrong Bank Name, which is has most of the same words as our bank name, but in a different order>
Me: We're <Correct Bank Name>, and we're not affiliated with <Wrong Bank Name>. We're just a community bank located in northern Minnesota, and we don't have any loans in California.
C: But I found this number on the internet.
Me: Sorry, you've got the wrong bank. Good luck!
What's it worth?
A customer was joking around with one of my coworkers:
C: Guard my money with your life!
CW: My life isn't worth that much!
The Board Report
Today I was making copies of the board report, which takes all afternoon and is really boring. The cover of each section and the minutes from last month's meeting have to be single-sided, and the rest of the pages have to be double sided (which I think is about the most nitpicky thing, but I won't argue with the directors). I have to babysit the copier in case it jams, and I feel like I'm killing a tree with all that paper it uses. Then I have to double-punch the holes in each one so that the holes are wider than normal (also nitpicky).
Well, that rounds out my week.
Comment