Tweet
Working as a night auditor at a downtown Victoria (B.C.) [Canada] hotel, there are 3 questions which I'm guaranteed to get asked a dozen times each every night, triple that amount on weekends, which just drive me nuts.
Most of the questioners aren't even guests, just passers-by who's moth-like intellect is matched by their moth-like instinct to be drawn towards the light and do something stupid.
Question #1: Where's the nearest place to get a pack of smokes?
Answer: 3 blocks down there's a 7-11 open 24 hours a day.
This question isn't so bad by itself; The reason I hate it is that the response is ALWAYS cat-butt face with a comment about how far it is. It's THREE BLOCKS. You need smokes at 3:30am on a tuesday, a 5 minute walk does not seem unreasonable. At least once a week, someone asks me to call them a cab to get their precious nicotine, spents 20 minutes waiting for it, 10 bucks cab fare, then winds up standing outside for another 10 minutes cause we don't have any smoking rooms at this location.
Question #2: Can you call me a cab?
Again, not unreasonable. I'm more than happy to arrange a cab for guests of the hotel and call their room when it arrives.
What makes me hate this one is that 75% of the people who ask me are NOT guests of the hotel, and most of them have cell phones with them.
Also, here's the thing about cabs in this town after midnight: At any given moment, there are about 40-60 cabs operating, and public transit ceases at midnight. Between 1:30am and 3:00am when the bars empty out, there will be over ONE THOUSAND people competing for those 40-60 cabs. Also, this city allows cabbies to pick-up flag down fares, which means after spending 45 minutes waiting on hold with the dispatcher, your cab picks up the guy who whistled at him when he was still a block away. You get to start over. On weekends, when the weather is bad, I've seen people have to wait over 4 hours for a cab.
Question #3: Do you have an ATM/Bank machine?
My most despised query of them all. First off: No. We do not have a bank machine. Also, we are not a bank. Do you walk into your bank and ask to use the jacuzzi? This is a hotel. As much as possible, we discourage cash in favor of credit cards. The part that really bugs me though, is that this question ALWAYS comes from someone who's just come from a bar. EVERY bar in town has an atm. In fact, I worked it out one night: With 1 exception, to get from any bar to my hotel, you had to have passed a minimum of 6, maximum (assuming a direct path) of 11 24-hour access bank machines. But you, you decided to walk past all of them so you could come bother me.
Then I had a realization: After about 2 months of hating this particular question, it occured to me: EVERYTHING here accepts bank and credit cards. Even the cabs, even the pizza guys. The only things you could be getting at this time of night that you cant use plastic for are drugs or hookers
Most of the questioners aren't even guests, just passers-by who's moth-like intellect is matched by their moth-like instinct to be drawn towards the light and do something stupid.
Question #1: Where's the nearest place to get a pack of smokes?
Answer: 3 blocks down there's a 7-11 open 24 hours a day.
This question isn't so bad by itself; The reason I hate it is that the response is ALWAYS cat-butt face with a comment about how far it is. It's THREE BLOCKS. You need smokes at 3:30am on a tuesday, a 5 minute walk does not seem unreasonable. At least once a week, someone asks me to call them a cab to get their precious nicotine, spents 20 minutes waiting for it, 10 bucks cab fare, then winds up standing outside for another 10 minutes cause we don't have any smoking rooms at this location.
Question #2: Can you call me a cab?
Again, not unreasonable. I'm more than happy to arrange a cab for guests of the hotel and call their room when it arrives.
What makes me hate this one is that 75% of the people who ask me are NOT guests of the hotel, and most of them have cell phones with them.
Also, here's the thing about cabs in this town after midnight: At any given moment, there are about 40-60 cabs operating, and public transit ceases at midnight. Between 1:30am and 3:00am when the bars empty out, there will be over ONE THOUSAND people competing for those 40-60 cabs. Also, this city allows cabbies to pick-up flag down fares, which means after spending 45 minutes waiting on hold with the dispatcher, your cab picks up the guy who whistled at him when he was still a block away. You get to start over. On weekends, when the weather is bad, I've seen people have to wait over 4 hours for a cab.
Question #3: Do you have an ATM/Bank machine?
My most despised query of them all. First off: No. We do not have a bank machine. Also, we are not a bank. Do you walk into your bank and ask to use the jacuzzi? This is a hotel. As much as possible, we discourage cash in favor of credit cards. The part that really bugs me though, is that this question ALWAYS comes from someone who's just come from a bar. EVERY bar in town has an atm. In fact, I worked it out one night: With 1 exception, to get from any bar to my hotel, you had to have passed a minimum of 6, maximum (assuming a direct path) of 11 24-hour access bank machines. But you, you decided to walk past all of them so you could come bother me.
Then I had a realization: After about 2 months of hating this particular question, it occured to me: EVERYTHING here accepts bank and credit cards. Even the cabs, even the pizza guys. The only things you could be getting at this time of night that you cant use plastic for are drugs or hookers
Comment