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I will offer sex in return for clearance!

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  • #16
    I'm thinking she wanted money from her father. How could someone not get their slutty, sex-crazed girlfriend/hooker on the list?

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    • #17
      I love stories like this. In my experience, no matter what the situation is, the person offering his or her "services" in exchange for something is one of the last people on the planet one would consider sexually desirable. She thinks she's supermodel material; he looks at her the same way he might look at a leper offering to make him dinner.

      Quoth gremcint View Post
      You know when I read the title I was thinking of clearance as in a sale and thought that this would be about someone offering sex for a clearance price on a sofa or something.
      I was thinking the same thing. Only, if I remember Lace Neil Singer's work background correctly, it would have been a clearance price on movies or something along those lines. Which, being so much less expensive than a sofa, would have been even more funny.

      It would also have been stupid. Why offer sex for a clearance price on something when one could just as easily offer sex to get the item for free?
      I suspect that... inside every adult (sometimes not very far inside) is a bratty kid who wants everything his own way.
      - Bill Watterson

      My co-workers: They're there when they need me.
      - IPF

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      • #18
        Quoth Argabarga View Post
        I'll see your sex offer, and raise you incarceration
        The kinky stuff costs extra, you know.
        The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
        "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
        Hoc spatio locantur.

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        • #19
          Why was she attending a meeting dressed like that? Even a low key meeting?
          No longer a flight atttendant!

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          • #20
            Meeting? More like interlude in the nude.
            I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
            Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
            Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

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            • #21
              It's obvious she was there as a reprasentative for a taco sales corporation, PinkTaco inc.

              Now I'm going to end up using slag as an insult for the next three weeks, damn you RSV freinds for starting that habit!
              I like things that go *bang!*

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              • #22
                Quoth Alpha Strike View Post
                British to American translation required: What's a slag?
                Further to previous answers, 'slut' over here used to mean a woman who had an ill-kept house, or was generally slovenly. The US meaning has sort of overwhelmed that these days.

                Rapscallion

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                • #23
                  Here are more definitions of the word:

                  http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=slag

                  Enjoy. XD

                  I have since been informed by my boyf that no-one working that day has owned up to being the boyff/other of the SC. Wonder why?
                  People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
                  My DeviantArt.

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                  • #24
                    Definition

                    Quoth Lace Neil Singer View Post
                    Here are more definitions of the word:

                    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=slag

                    Enjoy. XD

                    I have since been informed by my boyf that no-one working that day has owned up to being the boyff/other of the SC. Wonder why?
                    Couldn't definition 1 simply be written as "see: guy"?

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                    • #25
                      Quoth Sheldonrs View Post
                      Doesn't seem like there would be anything sterling about that pounding.
                      Oh, man.

                      It was iced tea this time. With mint. Thank God I don't use sugar, I'd never get the stickiness off the screen.

                      But yeah. My first thought was "hooker".

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                      • #26
                        That would explain why no-one owned up; having a slutty girlf is one thing, but admitting to ordering a hooker for lunchtime? xD
                        People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
                        My DeviantArt.

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                        • #27
                          Quoth HawaiianShirts View Post
                          I love stories like this. In my experience, no matter what the situation is, the person offering his or her "services" in exchange for something is one of the last people on the planet one would consider sexually desirable. She thinks she's supermodel material; he looks at her the same way he might look at a leper offering to make him dinner.
                          I've noticed that too. The people who will resort to such tactics, are always so low class and trashy...that it's pathetic. Also pathetic, is that they're willing to prostitute themselves in an effort to gain free shit, or to save a few bucks. Oh, and if you turn down their "generous" offer, they call usually call you gay, or how you "should be pleased to get this"
                          Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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                          • #28
                            Quoth gremcint View Post
                            You know when I read the title I was thinking of clearance as in a sale and thought that this would be about someone offering sex for a clearance price on a sofa or something.

                            I was thinking that too. Also, I'm glad it wasn't a shemale, because that is what the shemales who come into the library dress.

                            I imagine that if another security guy had acceppted her offer, she would have double-billed her client. Way to make the dough.
                            Last edited by depechemodefan; 05-22-2009, 08:59 PM. Reason: adding
                            Time! Time! Time is what turns kittens into cats.

                            Don't teach me a lesson; all I learn is that you are an asshole.

                            I wish porn had subtitles.

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                            • #29
                              Quoth depechemodefan View Post
                              because that is what the shemales who come into the library dress.
                              Hey! I do NOT... oh, you mean your library... not sure I've ever been... and, come on, the first time you see Hugo Weaving in drag, you'll never think of shemales the same way.
                              "I call murder on that!"

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                              • #30
                                is it wrong that i was thinking it was a slutty EX-girlfriend or a hooker wanting to blackmail??
                                why else would she be so naked and not be on the list, she ahs to be someone whom she was meeting she was going to didnt want see.

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