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Hey, long time lurker first time poster, sorry if the format is a bit hard to understand. This is a bit of an epic saga so I'll give you some background first.
I work as a receptionist at a "social club" in Australia, I work nights so I'm used to a lot of drunks/crazies. We have 3 phones for patrons to use, a Taxi Phone, a Pay Phone & a Members Phone (which only takes incoming calls, you can't callout from it). We also have 2 sets of doors as you exit, the first set are just normal doors that you push, there is no-way of locking them, the second set is automatic which we lock about shortly before closing time, I remind all patrons as they exit that they need to press the little white button on their right to open the "automatic" doors.
(All of this is relevant later btw!)
The Crazy guy in this story had been in the club many times before and regularly used the pay phone to call people asking for money & lifts home and just generally yelling abuse at whoever happens to be on the other end. He would tend get a bit emotional by the time he left but until recently it was never that serious. He also has a mustache (again, relevant later on).
A long list of character…
Me:
T: Cashier (co-worker/friend)
SC: The Crazy Guy
AM: Awesome Manager
TM: Tired Manager
WM: Worried Manager
SB: Sporty Boy 1 (member of the team we represent)
HC: Hot Cop
(yes they are all 3 different managers, I'm trying not to make this too confusing, sorry if I do!)
Part 1
T was coming in from her smoke break & told me that she believed some guy on the terrace was yelling abuse at her, he'd yelled out "YOU C*** SUCKING W****!!" but there wasn't really anyone else around. So we figured we'd keep a closer eye on him.
A short while after he comes out heads towards the taxi phone, I figure he's calling a cab home so I let him be. Then I hear this loud banging sound, I look up to see him at the members phone smashing the receiver down over & over again.
Me: Sir, please don't break our phones.
SC: F*** this place!! <continues smashing phone>
Me: SIR, PLEASE don't break the phones!
SC: <finally stops> I want to make an f***ing call!
Me: That is the Members phone, it won't make outgoing calls, however, there is a taxi phone on your right <points> and a pay phone just to your left <points>
SC: I JUST WANT TO MAKE A F***ING CALL!!!11!!
Me : <repeats> there is a taxi phone on your right <points> and a pay phone just to your left <points>
SC: I DON'T WANT A F***ING TAXI
Me: As I said <again pointing> there is a pay phone just to your left.
SC: WHERE???!?!?!
Me: Again, as I said, to you left, the same place I have been pointing this whole time.
Me being slightly confused as to how he managed to find it EVERY OTHER time he was here but suddenly not now
So he gets on the phone & starts calling people (It's approx 3AM by this point) I can't help but hear his side of the conversations:
First call:
SC: I NEED you man!!
SC: No not for that… But I NEED you NOW!
SC: NO, NO!! Not for THAT! I NEED you!
Etc. for a while before he finally gives up.
Next call:
SC: Hey is the person who was THERE FOR YOU when YOU NEEDED THEM! Well guess what? I NEED YOU NOW & YOU WON'T EVEN ANSWER THE F***ING PHONE! GOODBYE FOREVER!! MAYBE I'LL GO KILL MYSELF! THEN I'LL BE OUT OF YOUR LIFE FOREVER!!!!ELEVENTY11!!
I guessed that last one was a voicemail…
SC walks up to the first set of doors & places his hand on the handle.
Me: Have a good night sir.
SC: <rolls his eyes as he turns to me> WHAT IS THIS A F***ING PRISON!!!!
Me: Err, no?
SC: THEN OPEN THE F***ING DOOR!!!!
Me: Ok…
I walk over and open the doors as normal with ease gesturing for him to leave. Just as he walks through the first doors it hits me that if he can't open NORMAL doors he probably can't open the automatic ones.
Me: You'll just need to press the white button…
SC: <cutting me off> I KNOW HOW TO OPEN THESE F***ING DOORS!! I KNOW THIS WHOLE F***BACKWARDS COUNTRY AUSTRALIA!!! F*** THIS PLACE!!
Me:
After I've made sure the doors are fully shut & locked I go running out to tell T as I can no longer contain my laughter.
Me: OMG! You should have HEARD that psycho guy!
AM: <overhearing> what psycho guy? Where is he? I'll kick him out!
Me: No, it's ok, he already left.
AM: Well why didn't you call me? I would have gotten ridden of him.
Me: Its ok, he got rid of himself <explains story to both AM & T>
Part 2
This was a few days later, I can't remember how many… SC comes in composed as usually, like nothing ever happened, but after a few hours he comes out crying.
SC: My girlfriend just broke up with me <gee I wonder why?
> and now I don't have money for a taxi 
Me: Wow, that really sucks.
By this time TM has come out.
TM: What's seems to be the problems mate?
SC: My GIRLFRIEND just broke up with me! And now I don't have any money for a F***ING TAXI!! <sobs some more>
TM: Well where do you live? Is it a long walk?
SC: <names the next suburb over> it's TOO far to WALK.
TM: Well there's not much we can do to help mate, I can give you a jacket 'cause it's a bit cold out.
SC: FUCK YOU!!! <storms out>
10mins later he comes back in…
SC: I saw some cops and I asked them for a lift, they told me to catch a taxi…
Me: <stares blankly>
(the only response I could think of was "standard answer for a silly question, but I'm not that rude)
SC: <stares back for a min> WELL! What do you want ME to do about it???
Me: <confused by the backwardsness of the question> I don't really want you to do anything sir, <except GTFO!> was there something YOU wanted ME to do for you?
SC: Can you call me a cab?
Me: Yes! Yes I can.
I call him a cab while he enters the club and starts having a go at TM who follows him back out to the front area.
TM: So you right to get home now mate?
SC: I'm gonna go home & KILL MYSELF!!!
TM: Aww… Now… Aww…
SC: F*** YOU! I'm gonna DO IT! I'm gonna go KILL MYSELF!!
TM: Don't do that mate…
SC: F*** this world <continues to rant about suicide>
TM: Aww... Don't do that mate…
He finally left, TM was absolutely buggered & just wanted him to leave. Now before anyone gets all "how insensitive of TM & me", please be reminded this was at least the 3rd occasion I had heard him make that threat and it was now 4AM.
Part 3
SC comes in again, seemly normal (I'm helping another patron with something so I don't bother trying to stop him entering).
Now, this is where it gets complicated.
Our club represents a sports team, the members of this sports team were banned from the club after one of them got into a fight with a regular patron (like every day regular). Now, that incident happened over a year ago so I'm assuming the lifted the ban as they were all back in the club celebrating a win.
SC comes storming out to my reception desk and started hitting his fists on the desk demanding to speak to a manager "RIGHT NOW" being that I just called WM to come out to the front area for something else I just told SC he would be long.
WM: Hey mate, what seems to be the problem?
SC: Those men in there, they're HARRASSING me! They called me Mario! And Manuel! And BORAT!
WM: Do you have any evidence of this? <1st case of WM actually standing up to a patron>
SC: How COULD I? They were HARRASSING me!! They called me NAMES!!
WM: Well, it's going to be your word against theirs…
SC: F*** YOU!!!
SC disappears for a while then returns to use the ATM, WM happened to be out the front with me and decided to see if he could try talking to SC again.
WM: Hey, are they still giving you a hard time?
SC: Why the F*** do YOU care? <punches ATM>
WM: Please don't it the machines sir.
SC: F*** YOU!! I was HARRASSED, no… I was ASSULTED today!!
WM: When did this happen?
SC: And they said they would slit my throat!!
WM: Wait… What?
SC: I am being HARRASSED, I've been ASSULTED, I am going to bring this place DOWN! <SC slams his membership card onto the desk> F*** this place!! I am NEVER coming here AGAIN! You don't give a F*** about ME!
(There was a lot more of this but this post is way too long anyway)
By this point he is in front of my desk, WM has made his way behind it with me and the men that were "harassing him" come over, 3 of the sports team boys & their coach.
The coach begins to ask SC what "his problem is" and one of the boys (SB) asks why SC felt the need to threaten to kill them when all they did was "joke around". SC calls them a bunch of "A$$ F***ERS!!" And then continues with his "the whole world is against me" attitude ranting & raving about how he "WILL bring this place down" and we "WILL lose our jobs" and "he's never coming back" etc. Turns out in the end, it was actually SC who said he was going to slit sporty boys throat, SB offered to "take it outside" instead, as there was "no need for death threats".
(Ahh, drunken, meat-headed 19 yr olds, would never slit your throat, but always more than happy to punch you in the face…)
T is on her break and hanging around to see what happens with all the drama, I gesture for her to call the cops so she does. SC demands we call the cops so WM calls them & ends up putting SC on the phone to the cops, the cops think it's nothing so after the call ends the phone rings straight back, this time I answer it, it's the cops of course, so I tell them we'd really appreciated if they sent someone down as it's getting pretty heated, no worries. I hang up, SC is ranting about how I'm gonna lose my job & the whole club will get shot down when he hits us with this gem:
SC: I'M GONNA SUE YOU FOR A THOUSAND YEARS FOR SLANDER!!!!"
Me: 
I nearly wet myself! I had to run out into the backroom where T was trying to eat her dinner but was laughing so hard I thought she might choke! Because I could not keep a straight face out the front, T & I tried to keep it quite but WM later told us he could hear us laughing hysterically out the back.
So the cops come, they see 4 big fit guys & one sad 40/50yr old man, they automatically assume it's all one sided – the boys are just having a go at the poor innocent man. That is until one of the cops starts asking me about SC:
HC: So is he a regular?
Me: Yeah… I guess.
HC: Has anything like this ever happened before?
Me: <just starts laughing>
HC: What?
Me: This sort of thing ALWAYS happens when he's here…
HC: Has he threatened to kill himself before? <apparently he said it again today when telling the police his sob story>
Me: Only every time I see him.
HC: So it's just a spur of the moment thing?
Me: Yeah, I suppose you could call it that, I'd like to believe him and be genuinely worried, but he's said it on 3 separate occasion now.
HC: <to walkie talkie> can you do a police check on SC? <walkie talking says he has no record> Ok, well can you check if he's had contact with Mental Health? <walkie talkie says yes>
Police ask him to leave, he did & I haven't seen him since, mind you it was only a few days ago, so he'll probably be back.
Sorry this was way long, and thanks for reading!
I work as a receptionist at a "social club" in Australia, I work nights so I'm used to a lot of drunks/crazies. We have 3 phones for patrons to use, a Taxi Phone, a Pay Phone & a Members Phone (which only takes incoming calls, you can't callout from it). We also have 2 sets of doors as you exit, the first set are just normal doors that you push, there is no-way of locking them, the second set is automatic which we lock about shortly before closing time, I remind all patrons as they exit that they need to press the little white button on their right to open the "automatic" doors.
(All of this is relevant later btw!)
The Crazy guy in this story had been in the club many times before and regularly used the pay phone to call people asking for money & lifts home and just generally yelling abuse at whoever happens to be on the other end. He would tend get a bit emotional by the time he left but until recently it was never that serious. He also has a mustache (again, relevant later on).
A long list of character…
Me:
T: Cashier (co-worker/friend)
SC: The Crazy Guy
AM: Awesome Manager
TM: Tired Manager
WM: Worried Manager
SB: Sporty Boy 1 (member of the team we represent)
HC: Hot Cop
(yes they are all 3 different managers, I'm trying not to make this too confusing, sorry if I do!)
Part 1
T was coming in from her smoke break & told me that she believed some guy on the terrace was yelling abuse at her, he'd yelled out "YOU C*** SUCKING W****!!" but there wasn't really anyone else around. So we figured we'd keep a closer eye on him.
A short while after he comes out heads towards the taxi phone, I figure he's calling a cab home so I let him be. Then I hear this loud banging sound, I look up to see him at the members phone smashing the receiver down over & over again.
Me: Sir, please don't break our phones.
SC: F*** this place!! <continues smashing phone>
Me: SIR, PLEASE don't break the phones!
SC: <finally stops> I want to make an f***ing call!
Me: That is the Members phone, it won't make outgoing calls, however, there is a taxi phone on your right <points> and a pay phone just to your left <points>
SC: I JUST WANT TO MAKE A F***ING CALL!!!11!!
Me : <repeats> there is a taxi phone on your right <points> and a pay phone just to your left <points>
SC: I DON'T WANT A F***ING TAXI
Me: As I said <again pointing> there is a pay phone just to your left.
SC: WHERE???!?!?!
Me: Again, as I said, to you left, the same place I have been pointing this whole time.
Me being slightly confused as to how he managed to find it EVERY OTHER time he was here but suddenly not now
So he gets on the phone & starts calling people (It's approx 3AM by this point) I can't help but hear his side of the conversations:
First call:
SC: I NEED you man!!
SC: No not for that… But I NEED you NOW!
SC: NO, NO!! Not for THAT! I NEED you!
Etc. for a while before he finally gives up.
Next call:
SC: Hey is the person who was THERE FOR YOU when YOU NEEDED THEM! Well guess what? I NEED YOU NOW & YOU WON'T EVEN ANSWER THE F***ING PHONE! GOODBYE FOREVER!! MAYBE I'LL GO KILL MYSELF! THEN I'LL BE OUT OF YOUR LIFE FOREVER!!!!ELEVENTY11!!
I guessed that last one was a voicemail…
SC walks up to the first set of doors & places his hand on the handle.
Me: Have a good night sir.
SC: <rolls his eyes as he turns to me> WHAT IS THIS A F***ING PRISON!!!!
Me: Err, no?
SC: THEN OPEN THE F***ING DOOR!!!!
Me: Ok…
I walk over and open the doors as normal with ease gesturing for him to leave. Just as he walks through the first doors it hits me that if he can't open NORMAL doors he probably can't open the automatic ones.
Me: You'll just need to press the white button…
SC: <cutting me off> I KNOW HOW TO OPEN THESE F***ING DOORS!! I KNOW THIS WHOLE F***BACKWARDS COUNTRY AUSTRALIA!!! F*** THIS PLACE!!
Me:
After I've made sure the doors are fully shut & locked I go running out to tell T as I can no longer contain my laughter.
Me: OMG! You should have HEARD that psycho guy!
AM: <overhearing> what psycho guy? Where is he? I'll kick him out!
Me: No, it's ok, he already left.
AM: Well why didn't you call me? I would have gotten ridden of him.
Me: Its ok, he got rid of himself <explains story to both AM & T>
Part 2
This was a few days later, I can't remember how many… SC comes in composed as usually, like nothing ever happened, but after a few hours he comes out crying.
SC: My girlfriend just broke up with me <gee I wonder why?
> and now I don't have money for a taxi Me: Wow, that really sucks.
By this time TM has come out.
TM: What's seems to be the problems mate?
SC: My GIRLFRIEND just broke up with me! And now I don't have any money for a F***ING TAXI!! <sobs some more>
TM: Well where do you live? Is it a long walk?
SC: <names the next suburb over> it's TOO far to WALK.
TM: Well there's not much we can do to help mate, I can give you a jacket 'cause it's a bit cold out.
SC: FUCK YOU!!! <storms out>
10mins later he comes back in…
SC: I saw some cops and I asked them for a lift, they told me to catch a taxi…
Me: <stares blankly>
(the only response I could think of was "standard answer for a silly question, but I'm not that rude)
SC: <stares back for a min> WELL! What do you want ME to do about it???
Me: <confused by the backwardsness of the question> I don't really want you to do anything sir, <except GTFO!> was there something YOU wanted ME to do for you?
SC: Can you call me a cab?
Me: Yes! Yes I can.
I call him a cab while he enters the club and starts having a go at TM who follows him back out to the front area.
TM: So you right to get home now mate?
SC: I'm gonna go home & KILL MYSELF!!!
TM: Aww… Now… Aww…
SC: F*** YOU! I'm gonna DO IT! I'm gonna go KILL MYSELF!!
TM: Don't do that mate…
SC: F*** this world <continues to rant about suicide>
TM: Aww... Don't do that mate…
He finally left, TM was absolutely buggered & just wanted him to leave. Now before anyone gets all "how insensitive of TM & me", please be reminded this was at least the 3rd occasion I had heard him make that threat and it was now 4AM.
Part 3
SC comes in again, seemly normal (I'm helping another patron with something so I don't bother trying to stop him entering).
Now, this is where it gets complicated.
Our club represents a sports team, the members of this sports team were banned from the club after one of them got into a fight with a regular patron (like every day regular). Now, that incident happened over a year ago so I'm assuming the lifted the ban as they were all back in the club celebrating a win.
SC comes storming out to my reception desk and started hitting his fists on the desk demanding to speak to a manager "RIGHT NOW" being that I just called WM to come out to the front area for something else I just told SC he would be long.
WM: Hey mate, what seems to be the problem?
SC: Those men in there, they're HARRASSING me! They called me Mario! And Manuel! And BORAT!
WM: Do you have any evidence of this? <1st case of WM actually standing up to a patron>
SC: How COULD I? They were HARRASSING me!! They called me NAMES!!
WM: Well, it's going to be your word against theirs…
SC: F*** YOU!!!
SC disappears for a while then returns to use the ATM, WM happened to be out the front with me and decided to see if he could try talking to SC again.
WM: Hey, are they still giving you a hard time?
SC: Why the F*** do YOU care? <punches ATM>
WM: Please don't it the machines sir.
SC: F*** YOU!! I was HARRASSED, no… I was ASSULTED today!!
WM: When did this happen?
SC: And they said they would slit my throat!!
WM: Wait… What?
SC: I am being HARRASSED, I've been ASSULTED, I am going to bring this place DOWN! <SC slams his membership card onto the desk> F*** this place!! I am NEVER coming here AGAIN! You don't give a F*** about ME!
(There was a lot more of this but this post is way too long anyway)
By this point he is in front of my desk, WM has made his way behind it with me and the men that were "harassing him" come over, 3 of the sports team boys & their coach.
The coach begins to ask SC what "his problem is" and one of the boys (SB) asks why SC felt the need to threaten to kill them when all they did was "joke around". SC calls them a bunch of "A$$ F***ERS!!" And then continues with his "the whole world is against me" attitude ranting & raving about how he "WILL bring this place down" and we "WILL lose our jobs" and "he's never coming back" etc. Turns out in the end, it was actually SC who said he was going to slit sporty boys throat, SB offered to "take it outside" instead, as there was "no need for death threats".
(Ahh, drunken, meat-headed 19 yr olds, would never slit your throat, but always more than happy to punch you in the face…)
T is on her break and hanging around to see what happens with all the drama, I gesture for her to call the cops so she does. SC demands we call the cops so WM calls them & ends up putting SC on the phone to the cops, the cops think it's nothing so after the call ends the phone rings straight back, this time I answer it, it's the cops of course, so I tell them we'd really appreciated if they sent someone down as it's getting pretty heated, no worries. I hang up, SC is ranting about how I'm gonna lose my job & the whole club will get shot down when he hits us with this gem:
SC: I'M GONNA SUE YOU FOR A THOUSAND YEARS FOR SLANDER!!!!"
Me:
I nearly wet myself! I had to run out into the backroom where T was trying to eat her dinner but was laughing so hard I thought she might choke! Because I could not keep a straight face out the front, T & I tried to keep it quite but WM later told us he could hear us laughing hysterically out the back.
So the cops come, they see 4 big fit guys & one sad 40/50yr old man, they automatically assume it's all one sided – the boys are just having a go at the poor innocent man. That is until one of the cops starts asking me about SC:
HC: So is he a regular?
Me: Yeah… I guess.
HC: Has anything like this ever happened before?
Me: <just starts laughing>
HC: What?
Me: This sort of thing ALWAYS happens when he's here…
HC: Has he threatened to kill himself before? <apparently he said it again today when telling the police his sob story>
Me: Only every time I see him.
HC: So it's just a spur of the moment thing?
Me: Yeah, I suppose you could call it that, I'd like to believe him and be genuinely worried, but he's said it on 3 separate occasion now.
HC: <to walkie talkie> can you do a police check on SC? <walkie talking says he has no record> Ok, well can you check if he's had contact with Mental Health? <walkie talkie says yes>
Police ask him to leave, he did & I haven't seen him since, mind you it was only a few days ago, so he'll probably be back.
Sorry this was way long, and thanks for reading!
rb
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