Spiders, why I hate mechanics and I'm a thief, again.

[coldcupofjoe]

Why hello there!
Hello Mr. Spider, my arch nemesis, my feared villain. We meet once more on the field of battle. My carb cleaner against your craftiness. We shall see who will emerge victorious.

Okay, so I'm not that level headed when it comes to spiders. Generally the only thought going through my head is

'KILLITKILLITKILLITKILLITKILLITKILLITKILLITKILLITK ILLITKILLITKILLIT'

sometimes it's

'RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN !!!!'

Turns out though this was just a convincing fake. A prank pulled by a regular. The first time I met him was after I installed the sideview mirror I broke off with the top of my head.

He's been a pretty cool guy, got a nice wife, even been to the bar with the guy a few times.

Except for the fact that he likes to play pranks involving spiders. I think I could be friends with him. It's really not the pranks so much as the knee-gelling, fetal position inducing terror his pranks inspire. Like sitting down in his car, shutting the door, and having what seems to be a million of the creepy crawlies everywhere.

He assured me that none were known to be fatal to humans. I guess he would know, it is his job.

Interesting tidbit, I can strip out of clothes covered in spiders in less time than it takes me to strip out of clothes soaked in 200F coolant.

Hot oil+moron=disaster

Did an oil change, replaced the engine air filter and sent the car on its way.
The owner took it straight to another shop. He was told that the car had an oil leak, (bull) and that there was the wrong kind of oil in the car (also bull).

This wrong oil was making the engine overheat (more bull) and that to repair it would cost 2000 bucks.

Oh and I'm gonna be fired cuz he got hot oil all over him and now he has 1st degree burns.

Still not sure if it was the other 'mechanic' or the customer but W/E.

Next time I won't go out of my way to help you.

I have this habit of returning expensive, bad to lose, or hard to replace items to the customer, or at least making certain that someone will hand it straight over to the customer.

I don't have to do this, we have this sign that says we aren't and the customer signs a piece of paper that says we aren't.

But I'm a nice guy. So I do this. Usually makes people happy.

But not psycho bitch. I spot her credit car sitting in the cup holder. I take it out stop what I'm doing and take it up to her. For half a minute she's nice, thankful, even, dare I say it, grateful. Then all of a sudden, out of nowhere she starts accusing me of being a thief.

Not one to want be yelled at I walk off, tell my boss whats happened and finish the woman's car.

Turns out that in this area at least there are people who take their cars to shops, put expensive items in them like cell phones, ipods, money, credit card, social security cards, etc... in plain sight and if anything turns up missing the shop gets some hefty fines, the tech gets some hefty fines and promptly gets fired.

I'm not fired yet so I guess I passed...

[ShadedWings]

Spiders... at first I thought you meant they were rubber spiders.. but they were all over you, and "harmless" kind? o.o Were they really live spiders?

*shudder*

I dont' care if they're harmless spiders, I don't want ANY bugs on me thanks.

[DeltaSierra]

Spiders are the *ONLY* thing in this world that scare me. I don't mind little ones, or daddy-long-legs, but BIG spiders send me running in the opposite direction. I can handle snakes, lizards, centipedes, all other sorts of creepy-crawlies but I can NOT deal with big spiders. Here the spiders are so big that you swear they look up and "wave" a leg at you as if to say "Hello there!! Nice to see ya! Want to step into my parlor?" Last week I told my BF that "The Spider That Ate New York City" was sitting at my kitchen table and to PLEASE kill it.

Last week he sent me a link regarding some tests a scientist had done that showed that spiders can live for up to 48 hours in water - they go into a kind of 'coma' to reserve oxygen. That night I had nightmares that all the spiders I've washed down the sink, swept down the shower drain, and flushed down the toilet crawled their way back up and murdered me in my sleep. *shudder*

[ralerin]

Why hello there!

He's been a pretty cool guy, got a nice wife, even been to the bar with the guy a few times.

Except for the fact that he likes to play pranks involving spiders. I think I could be friends with him. It's really not the pranks so much as the knee-gelling, fetal position inducing terror his pranks inspire. Like sitting down in his car, shutting the door, and having what seems to be a million of the creepy crawlies everywhere.

Question: WHY on earth do you want to be friends with him if he continually plays pranks on you, knowing you're scared of them? Personally, the next time he tried that, I would march into the shop and force him to remove it, whether fake or real or whatever.

Next time I won't go out of my way to help you.

Turns out that in this area at least there are people who take their cars to shops, put expensive items in them like cell phones, ipods, money, credit card, social security cards, etc... in plain sight and if anything turns up missing the shop gets some hefty fines, the tech gets some hefty fines and promptly gets fired.

I'm not fired yet so I guess I passed...

Ah, humanity's dishonesty, when will it cease to surprise?

[Crab]

Why hello there!
...
He assured me that none were known to be fatal to humans. I guess he would know, it is his job.
...

... Is he a spider expert? (a slap and an internet for anyone depraved enough to get the reference)

[bainsidhe]

Turns out that in this area at least there are people who take their cars to shops, put expensive items in them like cell phones, ipods, money, credit card, social security cards, etc... in plain sight and if anything turns up missing the shop gets some hefty fines, the tech gets some hefty fines and promptly gets fired

Do you have cameras in the shop? Sad at the thought you might even need one. But why would there be fines? Wouldn't someone have to PROVE you stole something? Otherwise I could claim you stole something when you really didn't. Also, I seem to think that pulling this stunt on the guy working on your car isn't exactly a genius thing to do.

[Jester]

he likes to play pranks involving spiders. I think I could be friends with him. It's really not the pranks so much as the knee-gelling, fetal position inducing terror his pranks inspire.

There is a magic trick I know of that involves a picture of a spiderweb disappearing off of a playing card, and the next thing you know, there is a (fake) spider on the spectator's hand. I bought that trick, thinking how wonderful it was, but a wise magician I know pointed out to me to be careful with it, as some people are not just scared, but deathly afraid of spiders, and that trick could go south in a hurry.

I never did do that trick. The more I thought about it, the more down sides I saw to it, as you never really know who is going to freak out at the sight of a spider, real or not.

And if that guy knows you are so afraid of spiders, such pranks are just mean.

Spiders are the *ONLY* thing in this world that scare me. I don't mind little ones, or daddy-long-legs, but BIG spiders send me running in the opposite direction.

I have no problem with spiders, but have the same reaction you have to large spiders to bees and all other such creatures (hornets, wasps, etc.). It is not,
as one friend suggested, merely a healthy respectful fear of them. I am not allergic to them, nor have I been stung a lot by them. Actually, only once, when I was 9. It is not a healthy respect, they scare the piss out of me! I am PHOBIC about them, and have been known to run from one end of a bar to another to get away from a bee. Sometimes even screaming like a little girl. Seriously.

Kind of sad, really. Here I am, a guy afraid of nothing, a guy who has had much larger guys back down from me, a guy who has a dude who outweighs me by about 100 pounds scared shitless of me....and yet I run screaming from a buzzing little bee.

[Dreamstalker]

I spot her credit car sitting in the cup holder. I take it out stop what I'm doing and take it up to her. For half a minute she's nice, thankful, even, dare I say it, grateful. Then all of a sudden, out of nowhere she starts accusing me of being a thief.

That happened to me once, it was a debit card left in the bank's ATM by the previous customer. Upon noting the machine was still beeping, I was a good little wolf and hit "no" to "Do you need more time?", canceled the transaction and immediately took the card into the bank (I knew I was on camera, I'm not that dumb). I was handing it over to a CSR at the desk when TurboDouche comes rocketing up screaming that I should be arrested (where the F did he come from to get there so fast?).

The manager needed to get involved, and there were mutterings of "you're just defending her" as the manager knows me and my mom (it's a good thing I hadn't used the ATM yet myself as I wouldn't have put it past him to claim the cash in my pocket was his). When she offered to let him call the cops he backed down and won a free escort out of the bank.

[LillFilly]

It seems like the most honest people always get royally screwed when trying to do someone a good turn. You have to wonder if it's even worth it sometimes.

[KabeRinnaul]

I hate ants and bees/wasps. But I'm not too scared of them - more I set out to destroy the things on sight. Well, not the little honeybees. Those big yellow ones, though, they suck. Spiders I ignore unless they're big, but that's more survival instinct with the big ones. Black Widows and (worse) Brown Recluses are common around here. Never had an encounter with a scorpion, but they creep me out a little. Well, no actual scorpions, but for some reason there are a few hundred things that look like huge pseudoscorpions under my sister's house, and I've had to crawl under there to fix her heater before.

However, centipedes and millipedes creep me right the hell out. I want nothing to do with the things in any form, except for maybe the tiniest house centipede, in a house other than mine. The things have far too many limbs to be natural, and sometimes come in cyanide flavor for crying out loud...

[Hyndis]

It seems like the most honest people always get royally screwed when trying to do someone a good turn. You have to wonder if it's even worth it sometimes.

I was written up and nearly fired on the spot for finding a customer's wallet.

He was just buying a few last minute things before going on vacation. His wallet was full of cash too...and he lost it in the store!

He was running around in a blind panic, searching everywhere for it. I told him I'd help him look for it, and I found it and returned it to him. At first I wasn't sure I had found the wallet because it was a bit unusual looking, so I opened it up to see what it was. I saw a hefty wad of green in there, along with the customer's driver's license in the clear window part. Upon confirming that it was indeed his license, I returned it to him, and every last dollar and card in the wallet was still inside.

The customer was utterly ecstatic and insisted on buying me lunch or something. I was on the clock at the moment so I had to decline, but he insisted anyways. I also had other duties to attend to.

When he had finished his shopping he found me. Turns out he had bought a $50 gift card and wanted to give it to me. At first I said no reward is needed, but he insisted, and I didn't want to insult him.


Turns out my boss had heard about it. She stormed over to me and demand I turn over the gift card to her at once, or be fired on the spot. I did so. She still wrote me up.

She also pocketed the gift card. Pretty sure she ended up spending it herself.




Though if there is a bit of poetic justice, she herself was a month later marched out the door by corporate suits for stealing from the company.

And when I left that sucky job about 3 months later, I did eventually find another, vastly better job, such that I'm now making more money than she made, working more hours (so my paychecks are way fatter than hers), and i have better benefits. Easier job, too!

[BookstoreEscapee]

However, centipedes and millipedes creep me right the hell out. I want nothing to do with the things in any form, except for maybe the tiniest house centipede, in a house other than mine. The things have far too many limbs to be natural, and sometimes come in cyanide flavor for crying out loud...

Why, why did I click on those links? *shudder* I had a freakin' huge centipede on my bedroom wall last night. My roommate came home a few minutes after I saw him and she tried to get him with a shoe, but he fell somewhere. I don't know if he's dead or not, cuz we couldn't find him!!!! I've always hated spiders, but I think I've decided the centipedes are worse. Just thinking about it has me shuddering all over again. Gah!

Though if there is a bit of poetic justice, she herself was a month later marched out the door by corporate suits for stealing from the company.

And when I left that sucky job about 3 months later, I did eventually find another, vastly better job, such that I'm now making more money than she made, working more hours (so my paychecks are way fatter than hers), and i have better benefits. Easier job, too!

Karma's a bitch!

[Ellain]

I hate anything with more than 4 legs. They creep me out. More legs=more fear. Flies induce the "Duck!" respnse, spiders a stomp ocasionally accompanied by a shriek, and anything with more legs earns a panic attack...

[Pagan]

The only thing that gets me are roaches. Those fall into the phobia category for me.

Well, not the little honeybees. Those big yellow ones, though, they suck.

Bumble bees? I actually think those are kind of cute, especially these two that I see every year: http://www.flickr.com/photos/amyanddrewz/782878812/

I've run a centipede out before. Spiders I don't mind because they eat so many bugs. Shoot, I have wolf spiders wander through my apartment on occasion. I forget how close it actually is, but I remember reading somewhere that you're never more than a few feet from a spider.

People find it hilarious that I will run, screaming from a roach (alive or dead, it matters not) but let a spider roam freely.

I even had a lizard trying to climb my front door the other day.

[raw456]

I am right up there with you with fearing spiders. Here in Oz we have not only some of the deadliest spiders, but some of the biggest, hairest things ever to walk the earth!.

I can usually handle small ones, but anything bigger than a 50c coin, sends waves of terror thru me. I actually shuddered while reading your post. And yes - I too can undress at the speed of light when there is a possible 8 legged friend on my person.

I was bitten a few years ago by a redback spider (about the 3rd deadliest behind the funnel web and the white tail) luckily, I had only a very mild reaction to the bite, it can be fatal