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Of Harpies and Herpes

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  • #16
    That woman did not order her hobbit-sized son (My bf is roughly that size, I can say it!) a jacket. She ordered him a tent!
    "I'm working for popcorn - what I get paid doesn't rise to the level of peanuts." -Courtesy of Darkwish

    ...Beware the voice without a face...

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    • #17
      First, the thread title cracked me up.

      Second, the "G" guy reminded me of so many of my customers. I call them Spellers. People with short, easy-to-spell names who insist on spelling them out for us while we're filling out their one-hour envelopes. Like we can't figure out how to spell "Ed." It's a pet peeve of mine.

      Yet, the ones with truly difficult or strange names usually don't spell them unless we ask them to.

      Third...

      And the rest of it... *twitch* D:

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      • #18
        Now I want

        Don't wanna; not gonna.

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        • #19
          I always love you're Skytrain stories. I used to have to take it from Joyce to Stadium for work every day. "What's that Smell?" was always a favorite - until I got pregnant and it turned into "Will that Smell Make me Puke?" Good times...

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          • #20
            Quoth Fenrus View Post
            ...disemboweled with a plastic spoon-fork. Police on scene said "It was wacky."

            Kudos for the reference!
            Johnny the Homicidal Maniac by Jhonan Vasquez. I have a friend who loves that comic.
            Low lie the Fields of Athenry/ Where once we watched the small free birds fly/ Our love was on the wing/ we had dreams and songs to sing/ It's so lonely around the Fields of Athenry

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            • #21
              Gah!I've got the Slap Chow song in my head! Damn you GK!!!

              Quoth Crab
              FIRST TOAST.

              aaaaaah. I've been sitting here pressing F5 and hoping it will make the boredom end. And I haven't been disappointed. Extended metaphors HO!~
              What does F5 do? *hits F5* Oh nevermind.....

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              • #22
                ...I was lured in by the "OH GOD PLEASE CLICK ME LINK".... and now slap chop will haunt my nightmares....

                For this you must pay... the black sky-train comes for YOU next!

                (soon as I find out who is responsible for sending it on it's errands of demise)
                "I'm not smiling because I'm happy. I'm smiling because every time I blink your head explodes!"
                -Red

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                • #23
                  Quoth Red_Dazes View Post
                  For this you must pay... the black sky-train comes for YOU next!

                  (soon as I find out who is responsible for sending it on it's errands of demise)
                  I tells ya, it's an access point to Area 53...

                  Anyways, I am like always like thankful like for a new like Gravekeeper post. It like fills me with like enough like positive energy to like carry on to the next like week of like mind-numbing like drudgery that is like my job.

                  Like, thank you, Gravekeeper.

                  Signed, El Pollo Guerrera...








                  That's E, as in George...
                  Last edited by El Pollo Guerrera; 05-25-2009, 07:48 AM.
                  "Kamala the Ugandan Giant" 1950-2020 • "Bullet" Bob Armstrong 1939-2020 • "Road Warrior Animal" 1960-2020 • "Zeus" Tiny Lister Jr. 1958-2020 • "Hacksaw" Butch Reed 1954-2021 • "New Jack" Jerome Young 1963-2021 • "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff 1949-2021 • "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton 1958-2021 • Daffney 1975-2021

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                  • #24
                    Quoth El Pollo Guerrera View Post
                    That's E, as in George...
                    Agghhhh! >_<
                    1129. I will refrain from casting Dimension Jump and Magnificent Mansion on every police box we pass.
                    -----
                    http://orchidcolors.livejournal.com (A blog about everything and nothing)

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                    • #25
                      Quoth Gravekeeper View Post

                      Skytrain Harpies.
                      I believe the SA forums have the smiley you would need here:

                      "You're a ninja. You can't be a fan of pirate rock"

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                      • #26
                        Oh God! It all makes sense! Cheney...Bush 41 and 43. Baseball bats! Black Skytrains! The FALAFEL HOUSE!! SLAP CHOW!!! PINK CAMOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!







                        The world is a up place.
                        I have a...thing. Wanna see it?

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                        • #27
                          I'm still shuddering over the concept of tuna grease
                          https://www.youtube.com/user/HedgeTV
                          Great YouTube channel check it out!

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                          • #28
                            Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
                            My Skytrain this evening smelled like low tide. Not just regular low tide. But dead jellyfish low tide.

                            On a warm, warm summer day.
                            Try rotting seaweed low tide on a low or no wind warm day in the Keys. That'll make you stand up and take notice....and run away from the beach!

                            Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
                            A Kebler elf in the great corporate tree.
                            That whole description was truly classic. I bow to you, sir.

                            Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
                            Me: “Why don't you call the CIA directly."
                            Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
                            Me: “I’m sure they have a public number listed.”
                            (703) 482-0623

                            It took me all of about 10 seconds to find it. Would have been quicker, but my computer's been slow lately.

                            Just in case their phone number is not enough for Uncle Vick, he can also email the CIA here, send them regular mail at Central Intelligence Agency, Office of Public Affairs, Washington, D.C. 20505 , and even FAX them at (703) 482-1739.

                            Just thought you might like to have that in your arsenal for the next time Uncle Vick is seeking an audience with the spooks.

                            Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
                            SC: “Ok….uh, anyways, there are probably some individuals that probably have, you know.”

                            ….small pox? Herpes? No, I don’t know.
                            Perhaps Skytrain Harpies?

                            Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
                            I’ve never talked to anyone before that could say so much yet so little at the same time.
                            You obviously have never worked with drunks, my boy. Trust me, this is a common thing.

                            Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
                            SC: “My boy, you know. He likes wearing big jackets.”
                            SC: “He’s about 5’4, 140, 150 lbs”
                            I am 5'8" and 160 lbs. I should wear a medium but I like my t-shirts loose, so I tend to wear a large. I have some shirts (the kind you get free in bars for promotions) that are XL, and they are HUGE on me. 2XL? I could sleep in one of those. Apparently she needs that jacket for her son to use as a freakin' pup tent.

                            Quoth Juwl View Post
                            Did Vick call them Bush 41 and 43? I've only ever heard them called GW Bush and Bush Jr.
                            Actually, I have heard them referred to by number to differentiate them many times by many people and news agencies. I hate to defend Uncle Vick, but this is not as uncommon as you may think.

                            Quoth Spider Jerusalem View Post
                            People with short, easy-to-spell names who insist on spelling them out for us while we're filling out their one-hour envelopes. Like we can't figure out how to spell "Ed." It's a pet peeve of mine.

                            Yet, the ones with truly difficult or strange names usually don't spell them unless we ask them to.
                            I have a short name. Both my first and last name are short. Both are easy to spell. And I SWEAR to you that people have managed to fuck them BOTH up in more ways and on more occasions than I can count. Especially my first name. Which is precisely why I do just what you hate people with names like mine doing and spell them both out. Don't blame the Spellers. Blame the people who have so butchered their name so many times that they feel they HAVE to do this. I know I do.

                            Quoth telecom_goddess View Post
                            I'm still shuddering over the concept of tuna grease
                            Living on an island where fish, including tuna, are often ridiculously fresh, trust me when I tell you that the concept of tuna grease is not that foreign to me. And honestly, it's not that bad, either. Real tuna grease, that is. Not the smell that GK was alluding to, which I can only imagine is far, far worse.

                            "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                            Still A Customer."

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                            • #29
                              Someone needs to make a movie about Uncle Vick.

                              Seriously, something like that K-Pax movie.
                              "Do not quibble with me over apostrophes. I have my shit together when it comes to apostrophes." - BookBint

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                              • #30
                                Quoth Becks View Post
                                ...Sadly, no. I can't.
                                So you like others to do it for you?
                                Out of retail!

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