Good Threats Need Good Logic to Survive

[Dips]

I've been dealing with this guy over the last few weeks. He has a very old version of our software and wants to use it with an incompatible network setup. The obvious solution is to update to the current version which will work with his setup, but I also gave him a couple of workarounds which will let him get along with his current version until he gets the funds for the update.

He isn't happy with the workarounds because they require effort on his part and he isn't happy with the update because it requires money on his part.

So he demanded that we customize his old version just for him. I haven't yet let him know that custom programing is going to cost far, FAR more than the update. I'm avoiding going off on that tangent for now, as it's unlikely to lead anywhere pleasant for either him or me. I just repeated his options and offered him a chance to test the update for free before buying it.

So he writes back and lets us know that he just plain can't justify spending any more money with us, given that all we can offer for free is a workaround he doesn't like. And, no, he doesn't want to test anything right now either.

Fair enough. We don't dictate how our customers spend their hard-earned time and money. If he changes his mind, the update price will be good for at least 30 more days and the offer of the free test will be available whenever he is ready for it.

That should have been the end of it. But today, he wrote a very long tome where he expressed his disappointment in our solution, repeated that he wasn't going to spend any money and then...threatened to go the competition.

And we've lost *what* exactly? A sale he repeatedly told us wasn't going to happen?

Oooookay!

[wagegoth]

Dips, I am always impressed by your ability to round up those screaming brain cells and return them in time to post another story of insane illogic.

Bravo!

[Gurndigarn]

That should have been the end of it. But today, he wrote a very long tome where he expressed his disappointment in our solution, repeated that he wasn't going to spend any money and then...threatened to go the competition.

And we've lost *what* exactly? A sale he repeatedly told us wasn't going to happen?

Oooookay!

You could always mention that to him. Scramble his brain cells for a change.

[TNT]

An all too typical call in the cable business:

Me: Let's see... you've been cut off because you haven't paid a bill in three months.
Caller: And I won't be able to pay for another month. However, if you don't restore my service today, I'm going to satellite and you lose a customer.
Me: We lose a non-paying customer and satellite gains one. That actually works out well for us.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

What this [censored]er has yet to realize is going to the competition is going to be the worse thng he will do. Staying with your software I assume means that he gets the upgrade at a cheaper price than he would if he bought the latest version for the first time.

Going to the competition means that he would be buying their latest version at full price (more than the upgrade I'm sure), would have to learn a new system (totally [censored]ing up his productivity), and would have to try to get the data converted (which is far too often a pain in the ass especally if you're going from an old of one software to a new version of another)

You've lost nothing, he'll either hold fast to his promise and not order, or eat crow and order the upgrade. Either way you get the last laugh.

You'll:
A. Get to laugh at him as he has to come crawling back to you and depeding on when he does, may not get the upgrade price because he took too damn long.

-or-

B. Get to laugh at his ass every time you think of the ongoing problems he has, or the problems he'll go through learning the new system, converting/re-entering his data, and quite possibly taking it up the shorts as he forks out the money for the new software AND the support.