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Right, so then. I mentioned that I'm currently a lifeguard at the local YMCA. I've only been working about 5-6 months, and I still can't decide if I love it or hate it. Either way, I've already got a story or two to tell...
Background: Okay, so I'm the sap they hired to work the early morning shift (Right now it's 5:30AM to 11:30AM), so I don't usually get to deal with kids. Summertime will change that no doubt (since I'm one of, um, five? lifeguards, two of which will be gone for several weeks), but I'm usually watching over the older population. Yeah, I get to Guard the old ladies excerise class.
Regardless, I'm the one that opens the YMCA's Pool. The policy is that while the REST of the Y is expected to open pretty much on the dot, the Pool gets about ten mintues leeway (give or take). This is SUPPOSED to allow the opening 'Guard to check the pool bottom, make sure the pumps and heaters are working, make sure the hottub/spa area is fine, etc. I've got my own list to go through, basically.
There is ALSO a Pool rule: No Swimming Without Lifeguard On Duty. You'd think this would be OBVIOUS (No lifeguard in sight or in the pool office, no swimming!), but then again, that's giving too much credit. Turns out that the old lifeguard that did the early morning shift was rather lax about showing up anywhere near 5:30, and the STUBBORN OLD PEOPLE got into a habit of swimming without a lifeguard! They apparently also figured that "Hey, the old 'Guard let me do, so this new one will too!"
Nothing could be further from the truth.
I show up one morning pretty much spot on 5:30, just as the front-desk staff (Yes, my grandmother...) opens the doors and hits the lights. Sign in, grab the keys, unlock the pool-lobby door, check the pool bottom, unlock the locker-room doors, go change. While I'm IN THE LOCKER ROOM changing into my swimsuit and shirt, here comes one of the morning swimmers, an elderly gentleman. I give him a polite nod and hello, and promptly get ignored. I step in to the bathroom, and hear the lockers slam shut followed by the pool-door opening and shutting. FOr SOME odd reason, I expected him to wait the extra 30s for me to close my locker and get out to the pool area. Instead, I step out of the locker room and see that he's completed nearly half a lap-length already.
I decide to wait and talk with him about it AFTER he's done swimming. Smart move, that.
SC: *gets out of the water and starts walking by me to the locker room*
Me: *waves him down* "Got a moment, sir? Wanna check with you on something..."
SC: *looks confused that I'm actually TALKING to him* "Uh, sure, what is it?"
Me: *walks him to the rules posted on the door* "I just wanted to make sure that you knew rule number one here."
SC: *mumbles something about can't see without his glasses, so I read it to him* "Okay?"
Me: *calmly* "I know you feel fine swimming by yourself, sir, but I'd appericate it if just wait for me to get out of the locker room before getting in the pool, next time."
SC: *gives the impression of a puffed-up blowfish* "Well if you opened the pool on time, I wouldn't do that."
Me: <Oh now it's ON> *eyebrow raise* "Sir, I open my pool within my time limit every day. Further--"
SC: "I come in somedays and you're not open until five or ten mins after!"
Me: "--Furthermore, regardless of the pool opening time, the rules are the rules. Sorry."
SC: "Hey, if these doors are unlocked, it's open and I'm going to swim."
Me: "Again, you're not supposed to swim without the lifeguard out here, unlocked doors or no."
SC: *rolls his eyes and heads into the locker room*
OH, but it gets better!
The Head 'Guard works the shift after me and also teaches the 8:30AM water excercise class. So when she walks in, I beckon my boss into the pool office and tell her what happened, and what I wanted to do about it. She grinned and said "Go for it. Just lemme know if he tries to take it farther."
SO, the next day when I show up, I alter my schedule: sign in, get the keys, go into the pool, do EVERYTHING else, unlock the guy's locker room door, enter, lock it behind me, and go find my locker.
Right on time, the SC comes in as I reach mine, pulls off his shirt, throws his keys in the locker, and walks by without even saying hello. Meanwhile, I'm putting my bag up, getting out my towel, ssslllooowwwllllyyyy starting to change. I've managed to pull my shoes off when he comes back around the corner with a very puzzled look on his face.
SC: *With exsaperation* "...So when are you opening the pool?"
Me: *calmly* "As soon as I finish changing."
SC: *gears grind this over for a second* "So does the pool not open at 5:30?"
Me: *getting tired of him* "The pool opens when I'm ready for it to open, sir. I've got a list of things to do before I'm supposed to let people in."
SC: "Like /what/?"
Me: *stop untying shoe and glare* "Like check the pool heater, file some paperwork, check the pool bottom for toys, bodies, sharks, broken filters, che--"
SC: "Sharks?"
Me: *long-suffering sigh* "Yes, sometimes the closing lifeguard forgets to corral the invisible sharks at night. I also check the hottub and spa area, THEN I need to change into my swimsuit and shirt."
SC: *mulls this over while I start changing shirts* "So the pool doesn't open until you're ready for it, huh?"
Me: *assuming it's finally dawned on him* "That's correct."
SC: *stands up straight, throws shoulders back* "Well, you abuse your authority quite well young man."
Me: *blink* "I try!"
He then goes back to his locker, and starts changing OUT of his swimsuit. I get done first and calmly go to pool. I notice him leaving the Y's lobby about ten mintues later.
He's been gone about a month and a half now...
((WHOA, that's long on paper. Any advice on how to change this stuff up for later stories? *hides under nub blanket*))
Background: Okay, so I'm the sap they hired to work the early morning shift (Right now it's 5:30AM to 11:30AM), so I don't usually get to deal with kids. Summertime will change that no doubt (since I'm one of, um, five? lifeguards, two of which will be gone for several weeks), but I'm usually watching over the older population. Yeah, I get to Guard the old ladies excerise class.
Regardless, I'm the one that opens the YMCA's Pool. The policy is that while the REST of the Y is expected to open pretty much on the dot, the Pool gets about ten mintues leeway (give or take). This is SUPPOSED to allow the opening 'Guard to check the pool bottom, make sure the pumps and heaters are working, make sure the hottub/spa area is fine, etc. I've got my own list to go through, basically.
There is ALSO a Pool rule: No Swimming Without Lifeguard On Duty. You'd think this would be OBVIOUS (No lifeguard in sight or in the pool office, no swimming!), but then again, that's giving too much credit. Turns out that the old lifeguard that did the early morning shift was rather lax about showing up anywhere near 5:30, and the STUBBORN OLD PEOPLE got into a habit of swimming without a lifeguard! They apparently also figured that "Hey, the old 'Guard let me do, so this new one will too!"
Nothing could be further from the truth.
I show up one morning pretty much spot on 5:30, just as the front-desk staff (Yes, my grandmother...) opens the doors and hits the lights. Sign in, grab the keys, unlock the pool-lobby door, check the pool bottom, unlock the locker-room doors, go change. While I'm IN THE LOCKER ROOM changing into my swimsuit and shirt, here comes one of the morning swimmers, an elderly gentleman. I give him a polite nod and hello, and promptly get ignored. I step in to the bathroom, and hear the lockers slam shut followed by the pool-door opening and shutting. FOr SOME odd reason, I expected him to wait the extra 30s for me to close my locker and get out to the pool area. Instead, I step out of the locker room and see that he's completed nearly half a lap-length already.
I decide to wait and talk with him about it AFTER he's done swimming. Smart move, that.
SC: *gets out of the water and starts walking by me to the locker room*
Me: *waves him down* "Got a moment, sir? Wanna check with you on something..."
SC: *looks confused that I'm actually TALKING to him* "Uh, sure, what is it?"
Me: *walks him to the rules posted on the door* "I just wanted to make sure that you knew rule number one here."
SC: *mumbles something about can't see without his glasses, so I read it to him* "Okay?"
Me: *calmly* "I know you feel fine swimming by yourself, sir, but I'd appericate it if just wait for me to get out of the locker room before getting in the pool, next time."
SC: *gives the impression of a puffed-up blowfish* "Well if you opened the pool on time, I wouldn't do that."
Me: <Oh now it's ON> *eyebrow raise* "Sir, I open my pool within my time limit every day. Further--"
SC: "I come in somedays and you're not open until five or ten mins after!"
Me: "--Furthermore, regardless of the pool opening time, the rules are the rules. Sorry."
SC: "Hey, if these doors are unlocked, it's open and I'm going to swim."
Me: "Again, you're not supposed to swim without the lifeguard out here, unlocked doors or no."
SC: *rolls his eyes and heads into the locker room*
OH, but it gets better!
The Head 'Guard works the shift after me and also teaches the 8:30AM water excercise class. So when she walks in, I beckon my boss into the pool office and tell her what happened, and what I wanted to do about it. She grinned and said "Go for it. Just lemme know if he tries to take it farther."
SO, the next day when I show up, I alter my schedule: sign in, get the keys, go into the pool, do EVERYTHING else, unlock the guy's locker room door, enter, lock it behind me, and go find my locker.
Right on time, the SC comes in as I reach mine, pulls off his shirt, throws his keys in the locker, and walks by without even saying hello. Meanwhile, I'm putting my bag up, getting out my towel, ssslllooowwwllllyyyy starting to change. I've managed to pull my shoes off when he comes back around the corner with a very puzzled look on his face.
SC: *With exsaperation* "...So when are you opening the pool?"
Me: *calmly* "As soon as I finish changing."
SC: *gears grind this over for a second* "So does the pool not open at 5:30?"
Me: *getting tired of him* "The pool opens when I'm ready for it to open, sir. I've got a list of things to do before I'm supposed to let people in."
SC: "Like /what/?"
Me: *stop untying shoe and glare* "Like check the pool heater, file some paperwork, check the pool bottom for toys, bodies, sharks, broken filters, che--"
SC: "Sharks?"
Me: *long-suffering sigh* "Yes, sometimes the closing lifeguard forgets to corral the invisible sharks at night. I also check the hottub and spa area, THEN I need to change into my swimsuit and shirt."
SC: *mulls this over while I start changing shirts* "So the pool doesn't open until you're ready for it, huh?"
Me: *assuming it's finally dawned on him* "That's correct."
SC: *stands up straight, throws shoulders back* "Well, you abuse your authority quite well young man."
Me: *blink* "I try!"
He then goes back to his locker, and starts changing OUT of his swimsuit. I get done first and calmly go to pool. I notice him leaving the Y's lobby about ten mintues later.
He's been gone about a month and a half now...
((WHOA, that's long on paper. Any advice on how to change this stuff up for later stories? *hides under nub blanket*))
to 
! There's plenty of 
for dealing with the weird ones, and the 
I don't know how people do it.
I'll try to remember the (long) thing as well. :P
When I was younger i really did think there were sharks in pools.
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