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Customer's Guide To Easy Thanksgiving Shopping

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  • Customer's Guide To Easy Thanksgiving Shopping

    Frozen turkeys take a few days to thaw out. Do not come in our store at 7am on Thanksgiving day and buy a frozen turkey with the intention of cooking it that day. There is no possible way to thaw it out that quickly, and this is not our fault.

    While on the subject of turkeys, don't come in on Thanksgiving day and act surprised and angry that we don't have a turkey left in the size that you need. Common sense tells you that waiting until the last minute is not a good idea, and besides, you aren't going to be able to cook a frozen turkey that same day anyway.

    Don't call the store on Thanksgiving morning and expect us to have a fresh turkey in stock for you to buy. Don't yell at me about it. It isn't my fault that you told you son to take the turkey out of the garage freezer three days ago and he didn't do it.

    If you want to order a complete dinner from our deli, you need to order at least three days before Thanksgiving. This is clearly stated on the signs and in the flyer. Do not come in on Thanksgiving day and expect us to have one for you because we don't. Threatening to call our corporate office won't make us give you one either, because we don't have them on hand.

    Don't complain about the lines being long at the checkouts or about the aisles being so packed you can't move...or about having to park so far away from the store. You chose to wait until the last minute to do your holiday shopping. I've worked in the grocery business for the better part of the last 14 years. It is like this every year as we all well know, so why not try shopping a week early next year?

  • #2
    That's logic and something that SCs have no grasp on.
    "I'm still walking, so I'm sure that I can dance!" from Saint of Circumstance - Grateful Dead

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    • #3
      It's still a valiant effort.

      Knowing that Black Friday is just around the corner and I'm no longer in retail warms my heart more than a platter of tamales.
      ~~*

      "No! You can take the kids, but you leave me my monkey." - WALK HARD: THE DEWEY COX STORY

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      • #4
        Quoth crewboy View Post
        Frozen turkeys take a few days to thaw out. Do not come in our store at 7am on Thanksgiving day and buy a frozen turkey with the intention of cooking it that day. There is no possible way to thaw it out that quickly, and this is not our fault.
        Actually, there is a way, but it involves two college buddies majoring in engieneering, 5 space heaters, and two rolls of steel foil 'liberated' from the lab and a few non-UL approved modifications. Note that there was nothing to catch the run-off. We called this "requirement creep."
        The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
        "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
        Hoc spatio locantur.

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        • #5
          And this, my friends, is why I'm usually glad my store is closed on holidays.
          Unseen but seeing
          oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
          There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
          3rd shift needs love, too
          RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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          • #6
            Swap "Thanksgiving" for "Christmas Eve" and you'll know my hell. I've worked a Christmas Eve when a Mrs Loony Tunes came in 5 minutes before closing time to shop. There was hardly anything left in the store, and she came to my checkout loudly whinging about the fact. I would have loved to tell her that if she leaves her entire Christmas shop til the last minute, then she deserves to have a Christmas with no turkey, no sprouts, no bread sauce and no brandy butter. Oh yeah and I too was wishing I could tell her to just buy a cheap loaf of bread and make her own damn bread sauce. She bemoaned the fact there was no fresh left in the store. *sigh* I hope she doesn't come back this year, or if she does, she goes to someone else's till.
            People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
            My DeviantArt.

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            • #7
              Quoth Geek King View Post
              Actually, there is a way, but it involves two college buddies majoring in engieneering, 5 space heaters, and two rolls of steel foil 'liberated' from the lab and a few non-UL approved modifications. Note that there was nothing to catch the run-off. We called this "requirement creep."
              Or you can just run the turkey under cold bath water all day. Starting at 7AM and using a constant stream of water, that pools so the turkey is submerged and it should be thawed by 3PM.

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              • #8
                Quoth trunks2k View Post
                Or you can just run the turkey under cold bath water all day. Starting at 7AM and using a constant stream of water, that pools so the turkey is submerged and it should be thawed by 3PM.
                Hello salmonella.
                People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
                My DeviantArt.

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                • #9
                  Also, it is not a good idea to have a promotion in which you drop live turkeys from a helicopter.
                  Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                  "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                  • #10
                    As a compulsive procratinator, I had to reply. I have gone to the store at the last minute for some stuff to make some pies a few years back. They were out of the kind of cherries I needed, and instead of cursing the store for not having the stuff, I ended up making a french silk pie instead (which was very good, but it was a lot of work). I then vowed to stop putting things off until the last minute(again). Of course I still do, but that's another story for another time.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                      Also, it is not a good idea to have a promotion in which you drop live turkeys from a helicopter.
                      Please tell me there is a story behind this.
                      "Time shall help me face my painful memories with indifference, and with more of it, I won't feel the need to face them at all..."

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Lace Neil Singer View Post
                        Hello salmonella.
                        ??? There's nothing wrong with that at all. Submerging meat in water is a common way of "quickly" thawing it out. You are normally supposed to replace the water every hour or so to keep it from getting too cold. By keeping the tap running, you constantly replace the water. Just make sure the meat is well protected from the water since the water isn't a brine. In case of a frozen turkey, make sure it's in it's original wrapping.

                        It's really no different than letting it thaw out in the fridge, the water just acts as a better conductor than the air, speeding the thaw time.

                        ETA: I don't mean directly in the bath. Put it in a bucket or something.
                        Last edited by trunks2k; 11-16-2006, 08:03 PM.

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                        • #13
                          Quoth Kusanagi View Post
                          Please tell me there is a story behind this.
                          It's from an episode of WKRP in Cincinatti. My parents talk about it every Thanksgiving.

                          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of...urkeys_Away.22

                          (although the episode is wrong, Turkeys are capable of flight. At least wild ones are, but not for long distances)
                          Last edited by trunks2k; 11-16-2006, 07:58 PM.

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                          • #14
                            Quoth trunks2k View Post
                            It's from an episode of WKRP in Cincinatti. My parents talk about it every Thanksgiving.
                            One of the great moments in prime time TV.

                            "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!"

                            Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                            "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                            • #15
                              Quoth trunks2k View Post

                              ETA: I don't mean directly in the bath. Put it in a bucket or something.
                              Even so, I wouldn't like to risk it. And I was thinking of a turkey in the bath, scrubbing its back with a showercap on. XD
                              People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
                              My DeviantArt.

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