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A closed mouth gathers no foot avec pwnage
Impressive email fail following.
Howdy all! long time no post! Been rather busy lately, what with my former company folding just before Christmas, and me running my ass off to open a new company to take over operations. I could literally double the size of the site for the ass-hattery I have had to endure for the transition of our customers to the new company. I won't bore you with them, as it is basically similar to just about every post I see on here.
We have been reduced to a 2-man operation, and therefore it is extremely difficult to stay on top of the "little things". Canceled customers are among the "Little Things". If we are aware that a customer has canceled, appropriate notes are made on the account so when we can fully process the cancellation at a more convenient time. so as such, discontinued customers can remain active in our system for months. Since we are a "paperless" office, we e-bill our customers. Below is a conversation I had with a "Customer" who canceled his service with us. This customer who apparently canceled still checks the email that was bound to his service and of course still sees invoices, etc. In previous emails I explained to him that we were aware of his cancellation request. so couple weeks ago, I get this gem:
hmmm... the legal recourse card, huh? 
So my reply went like this:
So this Darwin Award nominee is using a service he is not paying for, yet I should be scared of court action. Well I guess the email struck a nerve since he called within 5 mins of me sending the email:
Starring:
Me = Whine-One-One Operator
DAN = Darwin Award Nominee
DAN: Is this Q'aeria??!!??
Me: Yes, How may I help you
DAN: This is DAN, and we have a problem, you little punk!
Me: Yes we do DAN. It turns out that after conferring with our legal council, we have grounds to charge you with fraud.
DAN: EXCUSE ME????
Me: Yes, well it turns out that when a person cancels a service, and uses it without paying for it it constitutes fraud or theft, depending on how you want to look at it. So riddle me this DAN, are you sure you want to board the courthouse train?
DAN: um.... ah... When you put it like that, things won't go my way, huh?
Me: Glad we are on the same page, then.
DAN: ...
Me: So here's how things are going to go down. First, you are going to stop checking your former email account, in fact you should remove it entirely from your computer. If I see one login attempt after this call, I will have grounds to bill you for your service, and I WILL collect on it. Second, you will never call back here again unless you wish to re-activate your service.
DAN: Ok. So you won't send the cops after me?
Me: You will never hear from me again if you do those 2 things.
DAN: Thank you.
Me: Sorry things had to come to this, but you really did not help yourself by threatening legal action, especially when you are caught red-handed using a service you are not paying for. Otherwise, thank you for your patronage over the years. As I have customers that require assistance, I am going to let you go. Have a great day.
DAN: Sorry about that, man. I'll call you when I move back to Nelson.
Me: Wonderful! I look forward to serving you again in the future.
</end_call>
Couldn't believe that the situation was turned around like it was, but hey, I'll take him back. When he was active, he was a good customer. Just can't believe that he would play the legal recourse card like that though.
Howdy all! long time no post! Been rather busy lately, what with my former company folding just before Christmas, and me running my ass off to open a new company to take over operations. I could literally double the size of the site for the ass-hattery I have had to endure for the transition of our customers to the new company. I won't bore you with them, as it is basically similar to just about every post I see on here.
We have been reduced to a 2-man operation, and therefore it is extremely difficult to stay on top of the "little things". Canceled customers are among the "Little Things". If we are aware that a customer has canceled, appropriate notes are made on the account so when we can fully process the cancellation at a more convenient time. so as such, discontinued customers can remain active in our system for months. Since we are a "paperless" office, we e-bill our customers. Below is a conversation I had with a "Customer" who canceled his service with us. This customer who apparently canceled still checks the email that was bound to his service and of course still sees invoices, etc. In previous emails I explained to him that we were aware of his cancellation request. so couple weeks ago, I get this gem:
Im not paying for this bill,,,,I called back the next day after paying up
in April to inform you of my move.
FOUR THE SIXTH TIME CANCEL MY SERVICE, I've moved away
Let's go to court cause I have emails showing that I've asked you repeatly
to cancel my service
in April to inform you of my move.
FOUR THE SIXTH TIME CANCEL MY SERVICE, I've moved away
Let's go to court cause I have emails showing that I've asked you repeatly
to cancel my service
So my reply went like this:
Your ADSL service was requested out effective April 14, even though at the bottom of this email you clearly state to cancel effective June 4. Secondly, for someone who claims to be done with this service, you manage to check your isp email well enough. Your service will last long enough so that you get this message, and then we are done with you.
As far as court action... I would have to ask for what? I have sent no demand for payment. I have not referred you to a collection agency. I am just half of a 2 man operation that does not have time to close everything or change stuff related to dead accounts at a moments notice. I have been aware of your requests to cancel, and if you had in fact stopped using the service as you claim, you would not be answering emails sent to a supposed dead account and thereby perpetuating a problem that does not exist.
As far as court action... I would have to ask for what? I have sent no demand for payment. I have not referred you to a collection agency. I am just half of a 2 man operation that does not have time to close everything or change stuff related to dead accounts at a moments notice. I have been aware of your requests to cancel, and if you had in fact stopped using the service as you claim, you would not be answering emails sent to a supposed dead account and thereby perpetuating a problem that does not exist.
Starring:
Me = Whine-One-One Operator
DAN = Darwin Award Nominee
DAN: Is this Q'aeria??!!??
Me: Yes, How may I help you
DAN: This is DAN, and we have a problem, you little punk!
Me: Yes we do DAN. It turns out that after conferring with our legal council, we have grounds to charge you with fraud.
DAN: EXCUSE ME????
Me: Yes, well it turns out that when a person cancels a service, and uses it without paying for it it constitutes fraud or theft, depending on how you want to look at it. So riddle me this DAN, are you sure you want to board the courthouse train?
DAN: um.... ah... When you put it like that, things won't go my way, huh?
Me: Glad we are on the same page, then.
DAN: ...
Me: So here's how things are going to go down. First, you are going to stop checking your former email account, in fact you should remove it entirely from your computer. If I see one login attempt after this call, I will have grounds to bill you for your service, and I WILL collect on it. Second, you will never call back here again unless you wish to re-activate your service.
DAN: Ok. So you won't send the cops after me?
Me: You will never hear from me again if you do those 2 things.
DAN: Thank you.
Me: Sorry things had to come to this, but you really did not help yourself by threatening legal action, especially when you are caught red-handed using a service you are not paying for. Otherwise, thank you for your patronage over the years. As I have customers that require assistance, I am going to let you go. Have a great day.
DAN: Sorry about that, man. I'll call you when I move back to Nelson.
Me: Wonderful! I look forward to serving you again in the future.
</end_call>
Couldn't believe that the situation was turned around like it was, but hey, I'll take him back. When he was active, he was a good customer. Just can't believe that he would play the legal recourse card like that though.
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