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"With all due respect...."
How I love this phrase. Anyone in customer service should recognize it as one of the most valuable and subtle tools in the arsenal for cutting into SCs. It sounds professional and polite, but when wielded by an expert can be more devastating than yelling or making threats. And, if used properly, cannot be used against you in an escalated complaint.
Which brings us to the grumpy old man.
Grumpy old man checked into my hotel this morning. He lives in a small town about a 5 hour drive from here, and evidently he decided to get up, drive 5 hours, and check into a hotel, for no apparant purpose other than to complain about it.
He did not have a reservation, nor does he possess a credit card. The manager made a very unfortunate mistake of okay'ing him to check in with a cash deposit instead.
He checked in at 11am, and since then has not left his room except to come to the front desk and complain. He has made no phone calls, he has had no visitors, he has not left the building. I'm told that he bitched and whined and SCREAMED at the afternoon shift until they agreed to not only order his food for him, but to then go and pick it up for him as well. In the 14 hours since he checked in, he has lodged 13 complaints.
He complained about the noise of construction from a building undergoing renovation a block away. He later complained about the noise of people talking on the sidewalk, at 3 p.m!
He required maintenance to come to his room 3 separate times; Twice to check that his heater was functioning, (it was,) and once to confirm that his air conditioner was turned off, (he had, in fact, already unplugged it.)
When he made his 4th attempt to get maintenance to check his room, he was informed they had gone home for the day. He lodge a complaint about that.
He twice demanded housekeeping come, not to bring him more pillows, or different pillows, but to rearrange the ones in his room.
Then he demanded housekeeping come a third time to change the heavy top blanket on his bed, because he didnt like the color.
My personal favorite: Apparantly, while showering, he "heard a door close," and leapt to the obvious conclusion: It meant the front desk staff was giving out copies of his key so people could sneak into his room while he's in the bathroom, disturb nothing, and quietly let themselves out again.
Note that every room adjacent to his was also occupied.
Further note that I am having a very, very, hard time resisting the urge to go open and close his door repeatedly throughout the night, just to screw with his head.
Shortly before I arrived, he demanded the front desk staff come to his room to completely change all the linens, sheets and blankets on his bed. It seems, after having occupied the room for 11 hours, he discovered an eyelash on the bed, and demanded fresh, clean bedding. Oddly, he did NOT tie this into being proof that random strangers had been give access to his room to frolic merrily while his ever-vigilent guardianship takes a bathroom break.
I arrive at work.
Grumpy old man comes down to lodge a formal complaint, and, sensing fresh blood, decides to start in on the heat again.
"My room's too cold! My heater isn't working! I can't believe a place like this can stay in business. The air conditioning is gonna make me freeze to death during the night blah, blah, blah, etc...."
"With all due respect, sir, I have 61 other occupied rooms tonight and not one of them has complained about the heat. Your heater is working fine and your air conditioner is NOT on. You may notice that A) I've propped the lobby doors open, B) I've got my sleeves rolled up, and C) if you were to step outside you could clearly hear that almost every one of those occupied rooms has thier ac running full blast. It is HOT out. If you are still uncomfortable, I'd be happy to bring as many extra blankets as you require. Barring that, I can only recommend you seek immediate medical help. Would you like me to call for paramedics for you, sir?"
He replied "No, I'm just going out to my car to get my coat, I guess I'll just have to sleep in that since you people can't do anything."
He comes back in wearing a threadbare denim jacket that's probably twice my age.
I never heard from him again.
May god have mercy on the morning staff when he checks out.
How I love this phrase. Anyone in customer service should recognize it as one of the most valuable and subtle tools in the arsenal for cutting into SCs. It sounds professional and polite, but when wielded by an expert can be more devastating than yelling or making threats. And, if used properly, cannot be used against you in an escalated complaint.
Which brings us to the grumpy old man.
Grumpy old man checked into my hotel this morning. He lives in a small town about a 5 hour drive from here, and evidently he decided to get up, drive 5 hours, and check into a hotel, for no apparant purpose other than to complain about it.
He did not have a reservation, nor does he possess a credit card. The manager made a very unfortunate mistake of okay'ing him to check in with a cash deposit instead.
He checked in at 11am, and since then has not left his room except to come to the front desk and complain. He has made no phone calls, he has had no visitors, he has not left the building. I'm told that he bitched and whined and SCREAMED at the afternoon shift until they agreed to not only order his food for him, but to then go and pick it up for him as well. In the 14 hours since he checked in, he has lodged 13 complaints.
He complained about the noise of construction from a building undergoing renovation a block away. He later complained about the noise of people talking on the sidewalk, at 3 p.m!
He required maintenance to come to his room 3 separate times; Twice to check that his heater was functioning, (it was,) and once to confirm that his air conditioner was turned off, (he had, in fact, already unplugged it.)
When he made his 4th attempt to get maintenance to check his room, he was informed they had gone home for the day. He lodge a complaint about that.
He twice demanded housekeeping come, not to bring him more pillows, or different pillows, but to rearrange the ones in his room.
Then he demanded housekeeping come a third time to change the heavy top blanket on his bed, because he didnt like the color.
My personal favorite: Apparantly, while showering, he "heard a door close," and leapt to the obvious conclusion: It meant the front desk staff was giving out copies of his key so people could sneak into his room while he's in the bathroom, disturb nothing, and quietly let themselves out again.
Note that every room adjacent to his was also occupied.
Further note that I am having a very, very, hard time resisting the urge to go open and close his door repeatedly throughout the night, just to screw with his head.
Shortly before I arrived, he demanded the front desk staff come to his room to completely change all the linens, sheets and blankets on his bed. It seems, after having occupied the room for 11 hours, he discovered an eyelash on the bed, and demanded fresh, clean bedding. Oddly, he did NOT tie this into being proof that random strangers had been give access to his room to frolic merrily while his ever-vigilent guardianship takes a bathroom break.
I arrive at work.
Grumpy old man comes down to lodge a formal complaint, and, sensing fresh blood, decides to start in on the heat again.
"My room's too cold! My heater isn't working! I can't believe a place like this can stay in business. The air conditioning is gonna make me freeze to death during the night blah, blah, blah, etc...."
"With all due respect, sir, I have 61 other occupied rooms tonight and not one of them has complained about the heat. Your heater is working fine and your air conditioner is NOT on. You may notice that A) I've propped the lobby doors open, B) I've got my sleeves rolled up, and C) if you were to step outside you could clearly hear that almost every one of those occupied rooms has thier ac running full blast. It is HOT out. If you are still uncomfortable, I'd be happy to bring as many extra blankets as you require. Barring that, I can only recommend you seek immediate medical help. Would you like me to call for paramedics for you, sir?"
He replied "No, I'm just going out to my car to get my coat, I guess I'll just have to sleep in that since you people can't do anything."
He comes back in wearing a threadbare denim jacket that's probably twice my age.
I never heard from him again.
May god have mercy on the morning staff when he checks out.
I AM the evil bastard!
'?" -Ashley Williams, Mass Effect
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