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And it was a short day today...
Bastard Goes to the Store
Once upon a time, there was a man named Bastard. He was named Bastard because he was not the nicest person in the world.
Some time ago, Bastard visited the clearance swamp and bought a patio set consisting of two folding, cushioned rocking chairs and a little table. One of the chairs broke.
Bastard called the clearance swamp. Irv, and employee at the clearance swamp, took the call. "Hello, patio department, how can I help you today?"
"Yeah, you sold me a patio set and the fiddlestickin' chair broke when I sat on it!" bellowed Bastard.
"Okay, okay," said Irv. "Do you have your sales receipt? And which set was it you bought?"
"Yes I have my receipt!" Bastard thundered. "I wanna new chair and you should have to deliver it to me! Edna, bring me a beer NOW! It was the set with the 2 cushioned rockers and the side table!"
Irv told Bastard "I'm sorry, but I cannot deliver your chair to you personally. Just bring in the bad one, with your receipt, and we'll give you a new one from a sealed box."
"Gosh ding it, I shouldn't have to make an extra trip because of your kaputt product! Okay, I'll be there shortly."
Irv brought up a new patio set, opened the box, and took out the chair.
A short time later, Bastard arrived at the store with his broken chair. He took the new chair and left without saying "thank you."
And Bastard lived happily ever after--at least until his new chair breaks, because those chairs, much like an elevator, have a weight limit.
School's Out...
at least until Monday. Monday is a snow make-up day. I expect school attendance to be pretty low Monday, because the seniors don't even have to come because they've graduated, the high-schoolers have finished all their exams, the teachers in the junior highs and elementary schools can't really cover any new material, and it will basically be a goof-off day.
So today as I was doing big important clearance swamp things, I noticed a couple grade-school age kids treating the store like a playground at recess. There was a boy wearing a black shirt, black shorts, and Heelies (wheels not down thankfully) and a girl in a purple t-shirt, rolled-up jeans and pink Crocs.
They decided it would be fun to play Hide and Seek in the furniture department. The girl hid in one of our entertainment centers, in the space you put the TV in, the boy found her, and they went tearing through the aisles. Then they'd "sneakily" stalk each other, moving slowly on their tip-toes, until they discovered each other, and then went back to running around like maniacs, nearly crashing into endcaps and shoppers pushing carts around.
One more thing--the floors were waxed last night and were still slippery, so they could've slipped and gone flying at any time.
I heard somebody mutter "Look at those kids running around, where's their mom?" They sped past me again and I told them "Hey, please no running! The floors are pretty slippery and I don't want you to get hurt!"
"Sorry!" the girl said and they took off again. Oh well, I can't say I didn't try. FWIW, I didn't hear anything from their mom/dad/guardian/person charged with keeping them from offing themselves in a brutal, bloody and fairly hilarious manner.
The Perfect Customers
Got called to carry out a kitchen table for somebody. As I was getting the duplicate receipt checked off, the customers came over to help me.
Straw hats and suspenders and beards--they were Amish all right. We have a few of them living in the country not too far from me.
So they rolled up the horse and buggy, and--no, seriously, they came by with a van AND a trailer. When they go into the city to do their shopping, they have somebody drive them.
They helped me load up the table AND they bought the extended protection plan!
Polite, helpful, cheerful and spendy--why can't all my customers be like that?
Graduation Fashions
The local high school does graduation differently than most other schools. Instead of caps and gowns, the guys dress up in suits or tuxedos, the girls wear formal dresses, and there are ushers and flower girls from the junior class in the ceremony as well.
So today, about half an hour before I left, I encountered a fellow, who I think is a graduate, in a zoot suit.
He had the chain and hat and everything. I figured he was a graduate because his outfit was in the school colors (red and black) and I couldn't figure out why anybody else would be out and about in a zoot suit today.
I gotta say, he looked pretty sharp.
Bastard Goes to the Store
Once upon a time, there was a man named Bastard. He was named Bastard because he was not the nicest person in the world.
Some time ago, Bastard visited the clearance swamp and bought a patio set consisting of two folding, cushioned rocking chairs and a little table. One of the chairs broke.
Bastard called the clearance swamp. Irv, and employee at the clearance swamp, took the call. "Hello, patio department, how can I help you today?"
"Yeah, you sold me a patio set and the fiddlestickin' chair broke when I sat on it!" bellowed Bastard.
"Okay, okay," said Irv. "Do you have your sales receipt? And which set was it you bought?"
"Yes I have my receipt!" Bastard thundered. "I wanna new chair and you should have to deliver it to me! Edna, bring me a beer NOW! It was the set with the 2 cushioned rockers and the side table!"
Irv told Bastard "I'm sorry, but I cannot deliver your chair to you personally. Just bring in the bad one, with your receipt, and we'll give you a new one from a sealed box."
"Gosh ding it, I shouldn't have to make an extra trip because of your kaputt product! Okay, I'll be there shortly."
Irv brought up a new patio set, opened the box, and took out the chair.
A short time later, Bastard arrived at the store with his broken chair. He took the new chair and left without saying "thank you."
And Bastard lived happily ever after--at least until his new chair breaks, because those chairs, much like an elevator, have a weight limit.
School's Out...
at least until Monday. Monday is a snow make-up day. I expect school attendance to be pretty low Monday, because the seniors don't even have to come because they've graduated, the high-schoolers have finished all their exams, the teachers in the junior highs and elementary schools can't really cover any new material, and it will basically be a goof-off day.
So today as I was doing big important clearance swamp things, I noticed a couple grade-school age kids treating the store like a playground at recess. There was a boy wearing a black shirt, black shorts, and Heelies (wheels not down thankfully) and a girl in a purple t-shirt, rolled-up jeans and pink Crocs.
They decided it would be fun to play Hide and Seek in the furniture department. The girl hid in one of our entertainment centers, in the space you put the TV in, the boy found her, and they went tearing through the aisles. Then they'd "sneakily" stalk each other, moving slowly on their tip-toes, until they discovered each other, and then went back to running around like maniacs, nearly crashing into endcaps and shoppers pushing carts around.
One more thing--the floors were waxed last night and were still slippery, so they could've slipped and gone flying at any time.
I heard somebody mutter "Look at those kids running around, where's their mom?" They sped past me again and I told them "Hey, please no running! The floors are pretty slippery and I don't want you to get hurt!"
"Sorry!" the girl said and they took off again. Oh well, I can't say I didn't try. FWIW, I didn't hear anything from their mom/dad/guardian/person charged with keeping them from offing themselves in a brutal, bloody and fairly hilarious manner.
The Perfect Customers
Got called to carry out a kitchen table for somebody. As I was getting the duplicate receipt checked off, the customers came over to help me.
Straw hats and suspenders and beards--they were Amish all right. We have a few of them living in the country not too far from me.
So they rolled up the horse and buggy, and--no, seriously, they came by with a van AND a trailer. When they go into the city to do their shopping, they have somebody drive them.
They helped me load up the table AND they bought the extended protection plan!
Polite, helpful, cheerful and spendy--why can't all my customers be like that?
Graduation Fashions
The local high school does graduation differently than most other schools. Instead of caps and gowns, the guys dress up in suits or tuxedos, the girls wear formal dresses, and there are ushers and flower girls from the junior class in the ceremony as well.
So today, about half an hour before I left, I encountered a fellow, who I think is a graduate, in a zoot suit.
He had the chain and hat and everything. I figured he was a graduate because his outfit was in the school colors (red and black) and I couldn't figure out why anybody else would be out and about in a zoot suit today.
I gotta say, he looked pretty sharp.
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