I do NOT need a stalker, thankyouverymuch!

[Cia]

It all comes down to my Universal Law of the Sexes:
All Men Are Stupid.
All Women Are Insane.
There Are No Exceptions.

I want that quote on a t-shirt.

[Rapscallion]

And why is it never anyone even remotely attractive?

Attractive people generally never need to ask. They're the ones who get asked.

Either that, or attractive people only need to ask one or two people to get a date.

Either that, or they're gay. I know a few gay people at work who would have little trouble with attracting members of the opposite sex if they were that way inclined.

Rapscallion

[Kogarashi]

I thought a morningstar was the spiky ball attached to a big stick with a length of chain? I would have said a spiky ball on a stick is a mace.

If it's on a chain, it's a flail.

[Zombi]

Also, just because someone tries to talk to someone else (as mentioned in another reply, not the original poster's) why does that make them a dorky loser?

Kibbles

It's not about "just trying to talk to someone" - there are some people you don't want talking to you. Ever. Because they make your skin crawl when they come within five feet of you. Because they make you cringe every time they open their mouth.

I don't mean to come across as a snob or anything like that, but there are people who make others very uncomfortable. Most of the time, these people are harmless, but sometimes they aren't, and it's difficult to tell which is which. I'm generally nice to everyone, i.e. I won't tell someone to get lost unless they really get on my nerves. Even then, they've got to be pretty damn annoying. But really, I wasn't put on this earth just to be someone else's friend. If I don't want someone around me, why should I have to put up with them for fear of hurting their feelings?

[TYFSOK]

I must confess that I think I was the creepy stalker guy in a couple of cases. The truly scary thing is that I wasn't actually aware that I was doing it.

I've come to this conclusion: Any guy can misinterpret anything as flirting, except of course for actual flirting, which more often than not goes completely over the guy's head. Not that I'd know anything about that...

I'd better stop before I get all bitter and maudlin.

[Mad-Bassist]

Want to hear something messed up? I'm 38 and haven't found a girlfriend yet. I grew up outside the social circles, spent much of my life moving from place to place, never went to high school, and put an end to my scholastic life by nailing a high score on the GED. For the most part, I'm happy being alone. I deal with so many people in my previous life as a convenience store clerk and plenty more in my current hotel life. When I'm on my own time, I rarely socialize--even with my roommates.

I'm content for the most part, but I am lonely too. I reached the point where frustration is starting to overcome my shyness. I don't really want to learn the skill of "picking up chicks" because my attitude is: "all I need is one." But... I guess I have to apply myself to find that one anyway. Such is life.

Anyway, there is a nice gal I work with who apparently sent me signals of interest. She's around my age, single, doesn't smoke, and has no kids. After so long of thinking "nah, it can't be" I finally asked her if she liked sushi.

She told me she didn't--she's a vegetarian and can't even stand the smell of sushi restaurants. I decided that while I'm nearly vegetarian (more for practical reasons: it's much cheaper to eat that way,) I love fish, and she wasn't the one for me.

I told her, "That's too bad, I wanted to see if you'd like to experience The Takahashi."

She thanked me for the offer and said it was sweet, but her rule of dating is to be with someone who is part of a crowd that likes the same kind of food, and the sushi crowd is a different one.

So, she still talks frequently with me, stands close sometimes, and is very pleasant. It still looks like signals to me, but I know better since I took the step of asking.

It was the most pleasant rejection I ever had.

On the other hand, I've seen girls who seem to be afraid of me and will take extra steps to display the opposite of interest. I'm guessing this is because they've had a history of dealing with guys who "don't get it" which wouldn't surprise me, and it could also be because I'm a bit big and scary. Heh heh. It doesn't take long to find out I'm basically a teddy bear that happens to love heavy metal.

It hurts to see that kind of reaction though. My usual response is to offer a warm greeting the next time I see them and promptly ignore them while going back to my work or whatever I'm doing. They usually warmed up to me after a few times of that and acted normally disinterested and occasionally talkative. Heh heh.

I once had that reaction from an Internet friend I traveled to meet a few years ago. I did my best to get the message across that okay, you're obviously not attracted to me, and I'm here to have fun with a friend. While there was fun involved, she couldn't let go of that nervousness and ended up being rather rude at several points. She was more willing to talk about it when I came back home and there was that 1900 mile safety cushion. She said she felt bad about the way she treated me, and I rarely encounter her now. We still send Christmas cards or gifts though. At least we shared some seriously good sushi!

We humans are too complex for our own good.

[phoenix_rising]

I've never had a stalker, but there have been several people where I work sometimes that have shown interest/asked me out. This would be fine and dandy, but I'm a lesbian and I have a long-term girlfriend.
The first was a boy a little older than me. He was really nice and funny. I was nice and funny back, which is how I usually am and it didn't bother me because my best friends are guys. But I didn't really catch on. He picked me up on several occasions (like, literally) and so did his kid brother. And then he hugged me at the end of the weekend. And asked me out. I admit, it must have sucked for him and I left terrible, but I wasn't going to lead him on and make him think anything could happen.
The other was an older coworker who creeped me out. He believed he had powers and was a dragon. I've posted about him before. Yea. He was 25 and I'm 17. He said if I was a little older, he'd consider asking me out. ...Where's the puke emote? From then on, I avoided working really because of him.
Luckily, though, now I work with a really nice girl, so I can't complain.

[kibbles]

ITA with a lot of points made here. No, no one is expected to be everybody's friend but there is no need of automatically deeming someone a loser by the way they look. That's what people here have said and complained about the kids doing back in high/junior high school, so I just found it strange that comments were made like that.

If someone is being overly obnoxious on purpose or purposely not taking the hint, that's one thing, but if they aren't like that, a polite rejection is the best way to go IMO.

Kibbles

[TennesseePieman]

After getting married:
SAC: So, what are you doing after work?
Me: Going home to my husband.
SAC: Oh, so you're married. Is it a good marriage? Or would you like to come have a drink?

Honestly, what will it take?

I dunno, this might work.

SAC: So, what are you doing after work?
You: Well, I've got this appointment with my gynecologist. I'm hoping he can get this rash cleared up pretty soon, it's mighty uncomfortable. And the burning, wow ...

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Jester, if I weren't married....

That's how it works. Confidence and a nice dose of apathy. It's the person who cares the least that has the power. You got her attention, let her know you found her attractive...then ignored her. At that point, she couldn't leave it alone.

On the other note, what IS it with idiots who ignore that fact you said you're married? Why do they think brought it up? Man! That's the quickest way to piss me off...ignore the fact I just said I'm married. I LOATHE that.

The closest thing I've had to a stalker was this very lonely, pathetic guy I met on the fencing field at Pennsic War. He was a nice enough guy, but he just wouldn't get past the fact that I was married (my husband was not there that year) and not going to be anything more to this guy than a friend. He really needed to seek companionship elsewhere, but there he was, day after day, down in my camp following me around.

Probably now I'd be a lot more harsh with him. Age has not softened me up...quite the opposite. But then I for whatever reason was unwilling to hurt his feelings. That's what you get for being nice past the point where you should stop.

Eventually my male campmates took matters into their own hands and started leaning on him a bit. Then he took the hint and split. I felt kind of sorry for him, but it really was kind of embarassing.

[ArenaBoy]

Jester, you are one of the coolest people I've met on a forum. Anyway, I learned a lot of lessons about females from a female friend that I have known since I was 3. The best advice I've got from her was take a chance and stop being a goddamn wuss. I also grew up in a neighborhood full of older girls so basically my whole life I've known more girls than guys ironically. The benefit of that was I avoided the whole awkward thing many face growing up when it comes to dating.

EDIT:

MadBassist originally said:
We humans are too complex for our own good.

How true.

[Mighty Girl]

I like the idea of a fake wedding band except for one thing: I think the kind of guy that ladies are trying to avoid are the type that will hit on them whether or not they're wearing a ring.

True. Which reminds me- it's always really helpful to have an intimidating guy show up from time to time. Since you're at work, and it's unprofessional to have a PDA there, there's no need to do some fake cuddling. Usually, stalkers are insecure- so they tend to pick someone who they don't find threatening, soooooo all the better to pretend you're with someone they DO find threatening. I've never worried about stalkers since my met my husband, because teddy bear that he is, he looks like he's well acquainted with hiding bodies.

[AFpheonix]

She told me she didn't--she's a vegetarian and can't even stand the smell of sushi restaurants. I decided that while I'm nearly vegetarian (more for practical reasons: it's much cheaper to eat that way,) I love fish, and she wasn't the one for me.

I told her, "That's too bad, I wanted to see if you'd like to experience The Takahashi."

Oh my god. Best restaurant EVAR!

[Mad-Bassist]

Oh my god. Best restaurant EVAR!

Cool! Someone who is hip to the Takahashi—hopefully the original location at 103rd and Halsey in Portland, Oregon with all the neat Japanese antiques and electric train going around the place. First ate there as a teenager, I did!

[AFpheonix]

I've never been to the newer ones downtown, so I don't know what they're like. My hubbie and I go to the Holgate one now and again for a special treat. Their Alaska rolls are orgasmic.....Mmm.....now I want to go