the horrors of being a paintball ref (long)

[Mottom24]

Long ago, when I was in highschool, I managed to talk my parents into letting me work as a paintball ref at a field in the pine Barrens for the weekends. they didn't want me to get any jobs until I was in college because they claimed "you'll be working for the rest of your life, enjoy your freedom while you can". but I wanted to earn my own. so for 90 bucks a weekend I worked as a paintball Ref.

it was alot of fun, my best friend worked mostly as the tech over all the markers (they get their name "marker" because paintball markers were originally made to mark trees to be cut down for lumber... one day the tree markers got board and.. well... you know the rest). we had all tippmanns. the cheapest group package will get you pump action tippmanns, while the higher up gets you pro-carbines or 98's. I usually got the job as party/group cordinator, because I seemed to have a nack at organizing fun games like "protect the president" "capture the flag" "attack and defend" and "hostage takers" (which was a nice twist on capture the flag involving people as flags instead of cloth.). I had alot of fun with birthday parties and especially bacholer (sp) parties. I only worked there for 3 months... but I had some interesting moments.

screw yelling or waving... pow pow pow

when refing, we usually have 2-3 refs for each group. we stay to the sides or in the middle, never looking at people in bunkers or hiding to never give them away. we got really good at perreferal vision. I had nice reflective lenses so I didn't need to do that, I rarely looked straight ahead, so if I looked like I was looking one way, I was probably looking the other. sometimes people ask for hit checks, where they ask us to check an opponent if they were hit. quarter size paint splats is a kill, spittle is not. but this guy apparently didn't want to risk poking his hand out... but his gun was ok.

I suddenly hear *PAT PAT PAT* as paintballs land near my feet and then one nails me in the leg. I have been hit alot so it doesn't phase me... but I wasn't inbetween anyone... and we wear bright orange... so I look over and see he is aiming at me on purpose. so... I walk over.

me: meee
SC: a$$hole

me: where you just shooting at me with that marker? (we made sure to never call them guns)
SC: yea! I didn't want to get hit
me: put your marker up in the air and walk to the safe area, you're out.
SC: WHAT!? I wasn't hit, I want you to check that guy over there.
me: you know the rules, I told them to you in the begining. "no shooting ref's for any reason or your out for the remainder of a game" so hands up, safety on, and go to the safe area.
SC: that's bullshit!
me: OFF! NOW! or I just wave your position and you'll be out one way or another.
SC: grumble grumble *hands up and walks off*

I yell to make sure the surrounding opponents know he is out as he gets up, and he gets in the safe area unscaved. he complained to my boss and my boss just laughed at him.

hey, you upset us, so lets assault a minor

one day we had a group of very large gangbanger type folk out in our field. they were "F this and F that" the whole time, it was very stereotypical, but customers are customers and they had their own gear so it was easier work for us. it was a speedball match (which is a small netted in field with close quarter bunkers) which I hate reffing, so the lead ref for the group made sure I was rear watching the majority of the time. but something happened... something bad. apparently two patrons got upset at eachother. I don't remember exactly why. the lead ref (who is 16 at the time) told them to calm down.

LR: lead ref and close friend of mine
SC: assaulter

lr: guys, break it up right now or we'll have to ask you to leave. you only have 15 minutes on your play time left, so one more game and its done.
SC: bullshit! we should get 3 more atleast F*&^er! we wastin' all our time arguin' and shit!
LR: I'm sorry but you paid for an amount of time, not amount of matches. you have 15 minutes left.
SC: F*&K YOU!
LR: ok, please leav... *he didn't get a chance to finish that phrase...

the SC, who was right infront of him, put the barrel of the marker right to his crotch and fired, point blank. a 280 fps paintball SLAMMED right into his crotch, making his face go instantly beat red and have him fall to the ground. I am frozen and watch as they jog off towards the store to dump off the Nitro tanks and get their ID's back before our boss knows not to give them back and call the cops. they get on their bus and hightail it out of there before we even know who they were. they paid in cash... so we had no official record of their name. my friend had to stay out of school for almost a week because of possible damage that may have been done to him... luckily his "friends" were intact.

Why I quit

One day we had no one scheduled to come in... well we did, but the two groups cancelled. my boss offered to give everyone a few boxes of paint for free, free air and let us use the pump markers for the day. I wasn't in the mood to play, along with 2 other co-workers and my boss. so the rest of the workers went out to play on the fields while we decided to just play Risk in the store. I was crazy for risk the past couple years so I was very excited to play. I chose the grey group and everyone got their colors aswell. we randomly got our countries and the majority of mine were in the southern asia, middle east and a few in northern africa... so what does my boss do?

me: mee
B: boss

B: hah! tough luck on the locations there
me: hm? I like this area. I can only be attacked from one direction
B: no I mean you're pretty much the sand N*&&ers
me: .... uh... ok (now I would have said something, but I was 16, so I wasn't about to flip on a 40 year old built hick from the pine barrens, so I shrugged it off)

the rest of the game he kept referring to my group as that title. "uh oh, here come the sand N*&&ers" and so on... I was getting kinda fummed and decided I was tired and wanted to head home. I radioed in my friends and we drove home (We weren't getting paid that day anyway). less than 2 weeks later I quit.

I have a bunch of other short stories of my experience there, but it is all mostly normal fair for a place like that. "I shot him" "no you didn't" blach blah blah "don't shoot the animals." "dont shoot the refs" "don't shoot people with masks up" "stop taking your mask off in play" so on and so forth. so nothing really worth mentioning beyond the stories I just wrote. the field eventually closed down, due to poor employees, poor equipment and degrading fields. it was bought by a much better manager later and I hear they were doing well... 2 years ago. dunno how they are now.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

And I thought paintball didn't have hit calling issues... or at least, that's what the Airsoft-haters say.

Does the other side have lots of blind-fire BS too ?

[4love]

hey, you upset us, so lets assault a minor

That. That makes me SO. MAD.

Why didn't you refs have a way to get in touch with the store, in case of emergencies? These 'wipes should be in jail for that kind of stunt!

[Mottom24]

That. That makes me SO. MAD.

Why didn't you refs have a way to get in touch with the store, in case of emergencies? These 'wipes should be in jail for that kind of stunt!

We all have radioes that can call right into the store, but we were all busy trying to help him. we were all ages 15-17, so none of us were really ever prepared for such an event. when we finally did call in, the guys got their ID's just before, and were half on the bus before our boss got to them. I told him he should have written down the bus license plate number, but he wasn't the brightest guy in the world, hense the last story.

in response to the blind fire question, we get that in unofficial games off the fields, but that is a rule when I reffed, that blind fire was not allowed and you would be called out for the game. blind firing could fly out into the walking trails, into a ref, or hit your own teammates. that last one usually stopped people from doing in. in speedball we would have to yell at official teams alot, because they loved blind firing... most of em' were jerks.

[RayvenQ]

I yell to make sure the surrounding opponents know he is out as he gets up, and he gets in the safe area unscaved.

You're a kinder person that I, I'd have been making copious amounts of "Shoot him" hand signals to every other player behind his back.

[ebonyknight]

You guys don't where cups in case a stray heads your way? I assume you guys wear head gear, right?

[Mottom24]

You're a kinder person that I, I'd have been making copious amounts of "Shoot him" hand signals to every other player behind his back.

lol we only did that once, to a bachelor. his best man asked if they could ambush him before the game, i told him to wait until his mask was on (outside the safe zone) and everyone had their masks on. I told him I would nod at him and tell the other refs to stay near, but outside, the "event". it was pretty funny, even though we could have gotten in trouble, but they were a good group, and tipped well.

I wish I could have done that to alot of assholes who shot at me, but they pay to be there... not me, so they win out unless they truely threaten me, or another customer. then I get to be the asshole.

[RayvenQ]

The worst experience I had in paintballing, standing in the "safe" area, then, for some inexplicable reason, getting hit in the manly bits by a ball from 3 fields (literally) away, hurt like a rotter that did.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

in response to the blind fire question, we get that in unofficial games off the fields, but that is a rule when I reffed, that blind fire was not allowed and you would be called out for the game. blind firing could fly out into the walking trails, into a ref, or hit your own teammates. that last one usually stopped people from doing in. in speedball we would have to yell at official teams alot, because they loved blind firing... most of em' were jerks.

Thought so. Both the local Airsoft fields are CQB, and people just can't seem to
A: follow the safety rule forbidding blind-fire because they're jerks
or
B: get the courage to stick their face (even when wearing full protection) around the corner.


Oh, and I hope those gangsta bastards kill each other post-haste.

[RayvenQ]

I also remember when playing Capture the flag (in this case an oil can) I had a smoke grenade with me, so I went to throw it through the house most of the team were sheltering in (through the window on my side and out the door) it caught on the window frame and landed right in the middle, everyone abandoned the hut, I did an epic slide into the hut through the 2nd door, on my side, grabbed the grenade mid slide and threw it out the other door as i slid along.

[Red_Dazes]

I played paint ball once. It was alot of fun and I would love to do it again... But I ended up pretty much ensuring my end... one of my team mates gun jammed so I gave him mine so he could keep playing ((I figured it was fair since I had gotten in for free cause my cousin worked there and the kid was a paying player)) But then of course as soon as I do like 6 people from the other team run around the corner and guess who cant fight back...YEY! I hurt for a while.

[Skeksin]

Behold! The ultimate in marker gear!
Part 1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0xOA4A2ESM
Part 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kME4d...eature=related

And I usually like the Australia region. Only 1 way in and you get a quick continent bonus.

[crashhelmet]

I played a lot of paintball in military school. It was their way of training future soldiers, I guess ;p

Funniest story I can add to this without hijacking too much is a group of friends went out to an indoor arena as a part of a night of bachelor party festivities. They split us up onto the two teams and started the match.

I'm behind one wall and my friend Tim is behind another. We're popping out and shooting at eachother and anyone else we see. I decided to pop out at a kneeled position and wait for Tim to expose a body part, hoping to get an arm or a leg. He whips around the wall trying to come around my flank I shoot. He shrieks as I accidentally tag him in the groin.

The rule is if you get shot, you have to throw the safety on, and raise your marker above your head and walk out of the arena. he couldn't stay standing upright with his marker up, so it looked like he was crouching and people were tagging him left and right.

The worst part, or the karma in it if you will, is i was laughing so hard that I got shot myself.

CH

[MercenaryMuffin]

Ah, paintball. My absolute favorite sport. I must have spent well over a thousand dollars on my Tippmann A-5 and gear, modding it out like crazy (remote line, dogleg stock from SpecOps, new barrel, grip, everything).
Huge fan of Woodsball/Recball/Simball, whatever you want to call it. Nothing like decking out in camo and crawling through the bushes. Speedball is the pretty-boy face of paintball, and to me, incredibly boring. Rush out in peacock clothing, fire a bazillion rounds without hitting anything, inevitably get hit by 30 shots from less than 10 feet away. No thanks.
It's rare I go through more than a single hopper's worth of shots in a game or two.

A few things...that poor guy being shot in the groin. Yeah. One of the very first things I learned was to either wear a cup, or get some of those special-made paintball/airsoft padded boxer-brief-thingies. I had one of my buddies get tagged in his nether regions during my very first time playing (I was 16, I think). He just kind of let out a weak yell when he was hit, and toppled over. He laid there for ten minutes, and when we asked him if he was alright, all he could say was a weakly little "hurts".

Those paintballs are no joke, suckers come flying at you at nearly 300fps. And when something that big smacks into you, you KNOW you've been hit. First couple games I played, it hurt like a bitch. I think it was the shock of being hit more than anything.

But now, after nearly 10 years of playing on and off, I've come to like the pain

I don't envy you poor refs. Standing out there all day, inevitably getting pelted by stray shots or jackasses who think it's funny. If I were a ref, I'd walk around in full-body riot gear...

Any of you ever gone to the Oklahoma D-Day event? I'd love to go one year.

[Mottom24]

Ah, paintball. My absolute favorite sport. I must have spent well over a thousand dollars on my Tippmann A-5 and gear, modding it out like crazy (remote line, dogleg stock from SpecOps, new barrel, grip, everything).
Huge fan of Woodsball/Recball/Simball, whatever you want to call it. Nothing like decking out in camo and crawling through the bushes. Speedball is the pretty-boy face of paintball, and to me, incredibly boring. Rush out in peacock clothing, fire a bazillion rounds without hitting anything, inevitably get hit by 30 shots from less than 10 feet away. No thanks.
It's rare I go through more than a single hopper's worth of shots in a game or two.

A few things...that poor guy being shot in the groin. Yeah. One of the very first things I learned was to either wear a cup, or get some of those special-made paintball/airsoft padded boxer-brief-thingies. I had one of my buddies get tagged in his nether regions during my very first time playing (I was 16, I think). He just kind of let out a weak yell when he was hit, and toppled over. He laid there for ten minutes, and when we asked him if he was alright, all he could say was a weakly little "hurts".

Those paintballs are no joke, suckers come flying at you at nearly 300fps. And when something that big smacks into you, you KNOW you've been hit. First couple games I played, it hurt like a bitch. I think it was the shock of being hit more than anything.

But now, after nearly 10 years of playing on and off, I've come to like the pain

I don't envy you poor refs. Standing out there all day, inevitably getting pelted by stray shots or jackasses who think it's funny. If I were a ref, I'd walk around in full-body riot gear...

Any of you ever gone to the Oklahoma D-Day event? I'd love to go one year.

we always wanted to go, but we were still young when we played alot, and once I went to college we just kinda stopped playing

on the subject of crotch shots, we found the best thing to do was wear baggy pants. because we are crouching (when playing not refing) most of the time, it kind of creates a weird canvas of trampoleen protection. so if you get shot in the groin, it just kind of bounces off, doesn't break, and doesn't hurt you. to us, if you are standing straight up and get nailed in the groin, it's kind of your fault for standing up during a fire fight lol. I prefer woods play too, speedball was too fast and kinda meh to me. give me a tree trunk, a pile of leaves and hours of hiding anyday over bright colors and bloody welts.