I COMMAND YOU!

[unholypet]

I command you, as in me, Unholy Pet, tells you what to do.

Yeah, food service. I take your money, give you what you want. We are the legal stomach-intestine-toilet whores.

We slave over your flavor and texture desires, you consume them and our wares please your belly. The delicious treats nourish your body, and your intestines take a wild ride ending with your behind on the throne of the plumbing gods, the potty.

We keep you alive, and happy, if we can.

Some people are hard to please, and even harder to make understand.

NO!

Nothing irks me more than someone grabbing the pizza from the buffet with their hands. The spatulas are clean, hooker. Use 'em.

Man grabs pizza with his hand.
Me: SIR, here's you a spatula.

And I am surprised (somehow) by him grabbing more slices with his hands. Health code dictates that we toss those pizzas if the person touches more than their own slice. So, I toss three pizzas.

Woman: HEY! I wanted some of that.. (to her friend) I can't believe these people.
Me: Then thank your husband for touching the pizza, ma'am.


RAGM

A mother watches her child man-handle everything he can reach.

Me: Please, don't touch the pizza. Its hot! SSS *acts like her finger burns*
Woman: Ugh, retards...
I stare death at woman. Boy continues man-handling. Woman walks off. I swat his hand.

Me: NO! Don't touch that. Touch this! *hands him spatula*
Boy:

And as for you...

This old weird guy used to come in when I was a dishwasher waaaayyy back when. The managers never let a female serve him, or go near him. He was a registered sex offender, literally out of his mind, and would not be shy about staring.

I thought he was gone when I bussed his table, he came out from the upper dining area where the t.v. was.

He stopped and stared at my face, I tried to ignore him and finish cleaning his mess. Eventually, I got done and he asked me my name.

Guy: What's your name?
Me: ............ o_o''''
Guy: What is your name, girl.

I did the only thing I still do in a moment of adrenaline with no other thought.

Guy: What's your damn name?!
Me: HHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSS

...and I ran like wildfire into the kitchen, to laughter and back-pats.

[tropicsgoddess]

Nice move on the old perv! I just wonder what makes people think that manners and common sense are something they should leave at home?

[Calie]

Woman: HEY! I wanted some of that.. (to her friend) I can't believe these people.
Me: Then thank your husband for touching the pizza, ma'am.

Please tell me she heard you, right?

Me: NO! Don't touch that. Touch this! *hands him spatula*
Boy:

He totally deserved that.

Guy: What's your damn name?!
Me: HHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSS

...and I ran like wildfire into the kitchen, to laughter and back-pats.

I love that! And I doubt he could complain about it. Well, he could, but what's he gonna do? "I cornered a girl and demanded to know her name so she hissed at me and ran away" Actually, I'd like to see him try that...

[unholypet]

And I doubt he could complain about it. Well, he could, but what's he gonna do? "I cornered a girl and demanded to know her name so she hissed at me and ran away"

He wouldn't have. Somehow he wasn't "right."


I'm certain that the Woman heard me, but she said nothing =p

[Peppergirl]

The spatulas are clean, hooker. Use 'em.

Permission to steal this for my sig line?

[unholypet]

Permission to steal this for my sig line?

Granted =p

[fireheart]

The last guy was just creepy.

Although reminds me of a customer I had at work the other day. Nothing out of the ordinary until he goes "you're very attractive." O.O This guy was in his late 50's....

[Red_Dazes]

...Creepy Old men....*shudder* .... I hate being stuck in the Fitting room where I cannot run from them...they just stand around and talk to me....

...Maybe I should start hissing at them.....

[unholypet]

...Creepy Old men....*shudder* .... I hate being stuck in the Fitting room where I cannot run from them...they just stand around and talk to me....

...Maybe I should start hissing at them.....

If you choose a cat hiss form, be sure to swallow any saliva before doing so..

Tragedy has struck when I forget to do that =_='

[unholypet]

I ALSO COMMAND!

Command you, woman.

So, this woman is decked the hell out.

Beautiful outfit, obviously styled make-up and reals nails, lovely hair, and a perfect air about her of politeness.

She used every single Miss Manners rule in the books I've read, and every single perfect manner of eating in a public place with her husband.

She was sitting there, perfectly eating with he fork and knife, perfectly using her napkins, perfectly talking with hubby, perfectly laughing and having a perfect meal.

PERFECT.

Hubby runs off to piss. Miss Perfect dabs her mouth with her napkin, perfectly, and then DIGS HER PERFECTLY PAINTED NAILS INTO HER TEETH.

She grinds her finger nail all over her teeth, waaay back in the back and then out.. takes a perfunctory look over the nail, scrapes what I assume is the food back on her front teeth, and DIGS AGAIN.

I command you to do that in frickin privacy. That is so frickin sick.

[mattm04]

NO!

Nothing irks me more than someone grabbing the pizza from the buffet with their hands. The spatulas are clean, hooker. Use 'em.

Man grabs pizza with his hand.
Me: SIR, here's you a spatula.

And I am surprised (somehow) by him grabbing more slices with his hands. Health code dictates that we toss those pizzas if the person touches more than their own slice. So, I toss three pizzas.

Woman: HEY! I wanted some of that.. (to her friend) I can't believe these people.
Me: Then thank your husband for touching the pizza, ma'am.

What is it with SC and food? They all seem to complain about how we throw out so much food but sadly a lot of it is because of customers. Cases in point...

• About 1/2 of a 40 gallon trash cn of salad bar stuff (lettuce, veggies, meats, chicken, etc) because the SC used that hands instead of the provided tongs
• 60+ rolls because the SC pawed through the roll bin like a dog looking for the right one
• 40+ Muffins as a SC decided that they no loner wanted the muffins they got and put them back in the case. since i had no clue which specific ones evey falvor they took from had to be tossed
  [10-12]Italian breads the the Sc bulled out of the bag, squeezed and put back not buying one

These are just the one I know of. I don't what to know how much they fondled the food that I don't know about.

And they wonder why more an more food is wrapped in plastic.

[unholypet]

And they wonder why more an more food is wrapped in plastic.

And then complain when you explain why.

"But I don't do that! Why do I have to be punished for it!"

PROVE IT!

[Peppergirl]

"But I don't do that! Why do I have to be punished for it!"

PROVE IT!

Don't you want a life like that? Where something so minor as food wrapped in plastic is considered a 'punishment'?

[Tito]

Me: NO! Don't touch that. Touch this! *hands him spatula*
Boy:

Heh, you probably shocked him, because that's probably the first time he's been told no in his life.

Guy: What's your damn name?!
Me: HHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSS

...and I ran like wildfire into the kitchen, to laughter and back-pats.

Ha ha!!!!!! Now, that's too funny! I wonder if the perv had the nerve to try complaining about that.

[unholypet]

I wonder if the perv had the nerve to try complaining about that.

No, that guy was a regular and the managers/owner knew about his odd mental condition. He never complained, and always tipped, but mmmnngggghhhh..

I asked at work, and they said he was shell-shocked from Nam and sustained a head injury that made him this way. Freaky o_0