Irish Eyes

[Shards]

Damn, Slyt took Aragorn. I suppose an honorable warrior's death awaits me after I first give in to temptation and nearly lose myself entirely to it...

Or, wait, can I be the side character who does not in fact follow the fellowship but ends up helping out a damn fine bit anyway? You know, the one whose father tries to set him on fire?

[GhostHelwig]

Just have to say, that Dr Suess "quote" made my day. Thank you!

[Pagan]

a scarf, long paints,

Wouldn't long pants do ya better?

You're already living up to the comic relief part and we haven't even left yet!

[Jester]

Even I occasionally make typos, thank you very much.

That being said, I HAVE been body-painted before, so that is conceivable....I just don't think it would do much to fight off the cold I so loathe.

[Ledomar]

Quoth Gravekeeper
So I will require a Fellowship and a questionably attentive man servant.

Quoth bunnyboy
You have my axe...

Quoth Pagan
And my bow....

Quoth Slytovhand
And my foam swordy thing...

Quoth Jester
And my beer stein! (What? Every serious traveling fellowship needs at least one comical drunk to keep things in perspective!)

Anyway, you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission....quest....thing.

[XCashier]

Irish Eyes

...After verbally measuring each other's penises, they moved on to the next favoured activity of truly manly man guys: Fighting. Oh yes, fighting. Boy they all just loved to fight. You know, because their Irish.

I'd bet none of those idiots would last three seconds in a fight against a real Irishman.

[Pagan]

Anyway, you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission....quest....thing.

Pshhh, you don't even know where we're going I bet!

[Jester]

I'd bet none of those idiots would last three seconds in a fight against a real Irishman.

Screw that. I would bet none of them would last three seconds in a fight against a real Irish WOMAN. Hell, I'd put my money on my Irish-American girlfriend, who stands about 5'1", against any one of them. Perhaps all three.

You think I'm exaggerating? She arrives for a visit Friday night. Friday afternoon, I'll be hiding the knives.

[Alpha Strike]

If Only

Me: “Ok, did you receive a customer ID?”
SC: “I might have…….where do I find it?”
Me: “They're mailed out to existing customers.”
SC: “Hmmm, let me look here….my desks a mess. I’m not sure where it is. But if you don’t want me money, than fine.”

……wait, what? Was that…..I can’t tell if that was a snide comment or an attempt at a joke? Either way it was ill timed, stupid and should not have left your mouth under any circumstances.

It's always a treat when customers pull this particular card. Especially when they think they're hurting me personally. Being able to disabuse them of this notion with a sunny and cheerful "Okay, well thanks anyway! Have a great day!" does add a bit of joy to my work time.

Yes, These Things Cost Money

SC: “How much to come fix a window?”
Me: “At this hour it would be $xxx plus the price of material.”
SC: “Oh, really!?”



I'm not your bro, bro

SC: “Hey bro, our system is down.”

I do not respond to the moniker “bro”. As you are in no way genetically or legally related to me. Thus this term is being invalidly applied and I would ask that you desist. If you truly must address me by some sort of casual nickname than I will grudgingly accept “pal”, “dude” or “Lord Oberon”.

I'm still amazed at the number of people who seemed shocked (real or otherwise) that they have to pay for goods and services. Given the way many of these SCs use "The Economy" as a way to justify their outrageous demands, you'd think at least a few of them would have put together the concept of "Buy Stuff = Cost money!"

As far as nicknames: I've been called Bro, Cuz (Cous), Honey, sweetheart, dear, love (?!), buddy, Sir (and ma'am), jerk, thief, idiot, Hey You, and I'm sure I'm forgetting a few there. I also run across the occasional idiot who plays the "I know your first name and I'm going to say it in Every. Single. Sentence I utter to you."

[Andara Bledin]

Bad Idea(tm)

Did you know if you hold the Skytrain doors open for more than 20-30 seconds or so, the Skytrain gives up and just magically summons two cops to come arrest you? Me neither! But one air headed wench trying to hold the train for her friend found out the hard way. Apparently her friend had stopped to buy a ticket, but was paying for it entirely in nickels and navel lint or some such. But this singular human being was important enough to merit grinding the city's entire transit line to a halt so her majesty might board.

Oh, hey, our rail lines have that same feature! They usually start with the automatic warning to clear the doors and that's the point that they start the summoning ritual for the transit cops. It's usually a really good idea to let go of the doors before they finish the summon, otherwise you have a boss fight on your hands, and you never can tell how many will be summoned, either.

( A coworker has pointed out that if Hall Beach was indeed my Mordor, than that implieds I must journey there to unmake the evil which lurks within. So I will require a Fellowship and a questionably attentive man servant. )

Sign me up for that Fellowship assignment! I'm totally on it.

Oh, and if you decide that there isn't room in your party for me, I'll be the person who isn't part of the group at all, but refuses to be left behind.

I half expected them to just unzip right there, whip out a tape measure and combine to form some sort of Irish tube steak Triforce to prove each others throbbing virility.

*snrk* Bwahahaha! That is such a perfectly, horrific image you have crafted for us this time, Gk.

Girls love fistfights!

My brother used to ditch girls that would try to get him in a fight with other guys. He'd usually end up drinking with the other guy and lamenting over how sad and pathetic the woman in question really was.

^-.-^

[cinema guy]

I also volunteer for this fellowship thingy. I don't have any implements to offer, but I am short and hairy enough to have been given the nicknames 'Bilbo' and 'Hobbit-Feet' in the past.

[RetailKate]

Bill and Tedd! yay!!!!!

You should request that your company put effort into developing a time traveling phone booth. If nothing else deliveries would get a whole lot easier.

[Jester]

My brother used to ditch girls that would try to get him in a fight with other guys. He'd usually end up drinking with the other guy and lamenting over how sad and pathetic the woman in question really was.

That's the kind of guy I would BUY a beer for!

[Soulstealer]

That's the kind of guy I would BUY a beer for!

That's the kind of guy I'd take into the nearest coat closet. I don't know where the idea that fighting was attractive. It's something that should be avoided as much as possible.

[Shards]

That's the kind of guy I'd take into the nearest coat closet. I don't know where the idea that fighting was attractive. It's something that should be avoided as much as possible.

I've never had a girl TRY to get me into a fistfight with another guy, but I'd probably just walk away, and if they didn't like it, tough.

However, that doesn't mean there aren't times I feel I'd be justified punching a guy in the face, plus my buddies and I tend to wrestle/fight for fun. Just when we have some steam that needs blowing off, and we never go for anything we can do serious damage with, just some basic grapples and punches. It's surprisingly cathartic.