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A collection Language Warning Long
These are all random stories from all the jobs I've had either, Taco Johns, Subway, College Library, Cenex, or my current office job.
How Not To Make Friends in Drive Throughs
Comments in * * are my inner musings
SC: I really have to Pee. *Dining Room was closed*
ME: Okay sir if you really have to use the restroom you can pull in to the parking lot and we'll let you in to use the bathroom.
SC: Nah thats okay. *This is when he unzipped his pants, pulled it out, and started urinating on the wall under my window* *This was also the time Office Langley pulled around the building to pick up his nightly nacho order, and arrested the SC for public indecency
*
Signs You Need Help
-You start screaming and yelling at Subway workers because they are out of honey wheat.
-When you call the cops because your taco order was late due to a mix up, even though we offered to give you a discount for the inconvenience.
-When you walk into the kitchen of a fast food restaurant and then get pissed when your told to get out.
-When you insist that you should be able to cut and color your hair in a public restroom.
-When you bitch and moan about the quality of the hot dogs sold at a truck stop.
-When you habitually park in the "Fuel Loading Zone" and get pissed when we have you towed.
-When you start hitting on the support beams and then when they reject you, walk outside and take a dump in the garbage can.
Why you have to love some Truckers.
VSC: Vacationing Sucky Customer
ME:
VSC and His child bring a bunch of snack up to the counter, not the counter that has someone working it mind you, but the one at the end. So I finish with the line of customers (mostly truckers I knew) and walk over to the end register.
Me: Hello sir, will this be everything for you today.
VSC: Well its about time!
Me: Excuse me Sir?
VSC: Do you know how long I've been waiting here.
Me: I'm sorry sir I'm the only cashier here till noon.
VSC: Well you should have taken care of me first, their only Truckers they can wait.
* I should point out that I was on rather friendly terms with most of said truckers especially the 3 or 4 of them in hearing distance*
Me: Sir I apologize that you had to wait, but customer are served on a first come first served basis.
VSC: Listen you BITCH.
*This is when Mike walks up with a couple of the other guys behind him*
Mike: Listen here you, Red here is a nice little lady and if you insist on calling her names we're going to have to step outside and settle this.
*Needless to say VSC went a little white in the face*
Me: *Smiling Sweetly* You Total is X.XX sir, Have a good day.
VSC: *pays for his things, leaves me a five buck tip and hightails it*
Awesome Rob,
While I was training a new hire, Rob (a local) came in on his usual snack run before work.
CW: Hello Welcome to Kum and Go
Me: Oh Hi Rob
Rob: And who is this?
Me: Rob this is CW, CW Rob
Rob: Hi CW I'm Rob, I am a prick bastard, should at any time during our association we should have any problems I shall refer back to this conversation and ask you what part of prick bastard you didn't understand.
CW:
Me:
What Kind of Montanan are you? aka I ruined somebodies vacation *go me*.
DCC: Deceptively Cheerful Customer
DCC: Hi *stops to read my name tag* Dee, can I ask you a question.
Me: What can I help you with.
DCC: I need to know the best way to get into Yellowstone Park from here.
Me: I'm afraid I don't really know sir, I'm sure if you go into the lounge one of the guys (truckers) would be able to help you, they know the roads better than anyone.
DCC: *Freaks out* And here I though Montanan's were friendly, helpful people. You have ruined our vacation, I guess I'll just have to go to Florida next year that will teach you. I mean what kind of Montanan are you that you can't even answer such a simple question. *Storms out*
*Maybe someone should tell him that I'm Pennsylvanian originally and have never actually been to Yellowstone Park*
I'm Know All
Got this email from one of my customers.
Yeah we need to update our test computer so we can roll new programs. - Random Person.
Really? Well that's awesome, I only have two questions. Who the hell are you? In order to log on to your system I need to know who you work for. Also what do you want to update too, I only have 4 released versions at the moment do I get to pick one, do you want it to be a surprise?
I have more but I'll post those later.
How Not To Make Friends in Drive Throughs
Comments in * * are my inner musings
SC: I really have to Pee. *Dining Room was closed*
ME: Okay sir if you really have to use the restroom you can pull in to the parking lot and we'll let you in to use the bathroom.
SC: Nah thats okay. *This is when he unzipped his pants, pulled it out, and started urinating on the wall under my window* *This was also the time Office Langley pulled around the building to pick up his nightly nacho order, and arrested the SC for public indecency
*Signs You Need Help
-You start screaming and yelling at Subway workers because they are out of honey wheat.
-When you call the cops because your taco order was late due to a mix up, even though we offered to give you a discount for the inconvenience.
-When you walk into the kitchen of a fast food restaurant and then get pissed when your told to get out.
-When you insist that you should be able to cut and color your hair in a public restroom.
-When you bitch and moan about the quality of the hot dogs sold at a truck stop.
-When you habitually park in the "Fuel Loading Zone" and get pissed when we have you towed.
-When you start hitting on the support beams and then when they reject you, walk outside and take a dump in the garbage can.
Why you have to love some Truckers.
VSC: Vacationing Sucky Customer
ME:
VSC and His child bring a bunch of snack up to the counter, not the counter that has someone working it mind you, but the one at the end. So I finish with the line of customers (mostly truckers I knew) and walk over to the end register.
Me: Hello sir, will this be everything for you today.
VSC: Well its about time!
Me: Excuse me Sir?
VSC: Do you know how long I've been waiting here.
Me: I'm sorry sir I'm the only cashier here till noon.
VSC: Well you should have taken care of me first, their only Truckers they can wait.
* I should point out that I was on rather friendly terms with most of said truckers especially the 3 or 4 of them in hearing distance*
Me: Sir I apologize that you had to wait, but customer are served on a first come first served basis.
VSC: Listen you BITCH.
*This is when Mike walks up with a couple of the other guys behind him*
Mike: Listen here you, Red here is a nice little lady and if you insist on calling her names we're going to have to step outside and settle this.
*Needless to say VSC went a little white in the face*
Me: *Smiling Sweetly* You Total is X.XX sir, Have a good day.
VSC: *pays for his things, leaves me a five buck tip and hightails it*
Awesome Rob,
While I was training a new hire, Rob (a local) came in on his usual snack run before work.
CW: Hello Welcome to Kum and Go
Me: Oh Hi Rob
Rob: And who is this?
Me: Rob this is CW, CW Rob
Rob: Hi CW I'm Rob, I am a prick bastard, should at any time during our association we should have any problems I shall refer back to this conversation and ask you what part of prick bastard you didn't understand.
CW:
Me:
What Kind of Montanan are you? aka I ruined somebodies vacation *go me*.
DCC: Deceptively Cheerful Customer
DCC: Hi *stops to read my name tag* Dee, can I ask you a question.
Me: What can I help you with.
DCC: I need to know the best way to get into Yellowstone Park from here.
Me: I'm afraid I don't really know sir, I'm sure if you go into the lounge one of the guys (truckers) would be able to help you, they know the roads better than anyone.
DCC: *Freaks out* And here I though Montanan's were friendly, helpful people. You have ruined our vacation, I guess I'll just have to go to Florida next year that will teach you. I mean what kind of Montanan are you that you can't even answer such a simple question. *Storms out*
*Maybe someone should tell him that I'm Pennsylvanian originally and have never actually been to Yellowstone Park*
I'm Know All
Got this email from one of my customers.
Yeah we need to update our test computer so we can roll new programs. - Random Person.
Really? Well that's awesome, I only have two questions. Who the hell are you? In order to log on to your system I need to know who you work for. Also what do you want to update too, I only have 4 released versions at the moment do I get to pick one, do you want it to be a surprise?
I have more but I'll post those later.
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