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Killin em with kindness
Ah, yes, the joy of the drive-thru green apron coffee shop. So, a touch of backstory to set up this scenario that happened today: I'm currently in hell week for a musical (The Fantasticks) and have worked 8 hours every day this week. So my legs ache, my right arm aches (I'm the Mute. heh), and my feet feel like they want to lead a rebellion against the rest of my legs since the past week I've done nothing but work, rehearsal, and what little sleep I'm afforded after I get out of the theatre. Normally all of these plus my...self-recognized semi-short temper would usually equal at the very least a seething sarcasm at this customer. What I did actually made me quite proud:
SC: Stupid customer who thinks I'm deaf
Me: Your friendly neighborhood barista...today
J: Awesome shift supervisor.
J: <Opening spiel>
SC: Yea, I want a iced short latte with nonfat, extra ice, splenda. (My grandma, what wonderful grammer you have. The better to make my ears bleed with...)
J: I'm sorry, we don't have the short size iced, the smallest in iced we have is tall.
SC: Okay then, I want that tall, but with extra extra ice in a grande cup.
J: Okay, anything else?
SC: No.
J: (after waiting a couple of seconds for a "thank you" from her that never came).....Ok. That is $xx.xx at the window. Thank you!
And so SC drives up, unfortunately for her and her lack of planning on her way to work there's someone ahead of her who's drink takes all of a whopping 1 minute over the usual time of 3 minutes to get her out.
SC: Why did it take so long to make one drink!?
Me: (for some reason unusually relaxed and calm) Oh, it had to be remade. $xx.xx.
So, I take her card and run it, it takes all of 30 seconds for our computer to make sure she actually has money, apparently our SC didn't have NEARLY that much time to wait
Me: Ok, would you like a receipt?
SC: No! I want to get out of here! I'm in a hurry!
Me: (thinking: oh well...dum dum dummmm dum dummm doot doo dooo doot...) Alright, here's your drink.
I then hand it out to her, and I had already seen this part coming:
SC: This isn't what I ordered!
Me: (smiling all the while) Yes it is. You ordered an iced, tall, nonfat, one splenda, extra ice, in a grande cup latte. That's what that is.
SC: No! I ordered a small with grande ice!
Me: So did you want a tall as well as a grande cup with ice?
SC: NO! This is the wrong size! It's too small!
Me: No, this is exactly what you ordered.
I walk the couple of steps to pick up a couple empty cups, one tall and a grande to compare the sizes
Me: You see, this is a tall, this is a grande. You ordered a tall size in a grande so you could have extra ice.
SC: Well then, this isn't a grande!
So, I hold up the grande cup to the cup IN HER HAND and lo and behold, they are the same size. I'm holding in giggles at this point.
SC: Well....I wanted a short! She said I was getting a sho...
Me: No she didn't. She told you the smallest size we had in iced was a tall. (You will NOT try to throw my co-worker under the bus because you're reaching for straws. Also, that was not said in a short or snippy way, but merely as an almost happy matter-of-fact kind of way. The kind of way that only lightly says "I heard that order and you're not getting away with anything while MorningChaser is on window! Haha!").
SC: Well....well....I want 2 raw sugars!
Me: Okay.
Smiling all the while I give her her sugars and a stir stick. She takes the sugars, throws the stick back at me and drives off. I make sure to lean out the window, wave, and say "Have a nice day".
Normally I would've been pissed as hell, probably copped an attitude with her, but it was almost one of those rare zen moments where my soul just knew that killing her with kindness would not only make me feel better, but piss her off to the point where it would be HI-freaking-LARIOUS. Ahh...good times. Also, if she was truly in such a hurry, why did she feel she had the time to sit at the window for at least 5 minutes to spar with me at the window? Haha, the eternal paradox that is SC.
SC: Stupid customer who thinks I'm deaf
Me: Your friendly neighborhood barista...today
J: Awesome shift supervisor.
J: <Opening spiel>
SC: Yea, I want a iced short latte with nonfat, extra ice, splenda. (My grandma, what wonderful grammer you have. The better to make my ears bleed with...)
J: I'm sorry, we don't have the short size iced, the smallest in iced we have is tall.
SC: Okay then, I want that tall, but with extra extra ice in a grande cup.
J: Okay, anything else?
SC: No.
J: (after waiting a couple of seconds for a "thank you" from her that never came).....Ok. That is $xx.xx at the window. Thank you!
And so SC drives up, unfortunately for her and her lack of planning on her way to work there's someone ahead of her who's drink takes all of a whopping 1 minute over the usual time of 3 minutes to get her out.
SC: Why did it take so long to make one drink!?
Me: (for some reason unusually relaxed and calm) Oh, it had to be remade. $xx.xx.
So, I take her card and run it, it takes all of 30 seconds for our computer to make sure she actually has money, apparently our SC didn't have NEARLY that much time to wait
Me: Ok, would you like a receipt?
SC: No! I want to get out of here! I'm in a hurry!
Me: (thinking: oh well...dum dum dummmm dum dummm doot doo dooo doot...) Alright, here's your drink.
I then hand it out to her, and I had already seen this part coming:
SC: This isn't what I ordered!
Me: (smiling all the while) Yes it is. You ordered an iced, tall, nonfat, one splenda, extra ice, in a grande cup latte. That's what that is.
SC: No! I ordered a small with grande ice!
Me: So did you want a tall as well as a grande cup with ice?
SC: NO! This is the wrong size! It's too small!
Me: No, this is exactly what you ordered.
I walk the couple of steps to pick up a couple empty cups, one tall and a grande to compare the sizes
Me: You see, this is a tall, this is a grande. You ordered a tall size in a grande so you could have extra ice.
SC: Well then, this isn't a grande!
So, I hold up the grande cup to the cup IN HER HAND and lo and behold, they are the same size. I'm holding in giggles at this point.
SC: Well....I wanted a short! She said I was getting a sho...
Me: No she didn't. She told you the smallest size we had in iced was a tall. (You will NOT try to throw my co-worker under the bus because you're reaching for straws. Also, that was not said in a short or snippy way, but merely as an almost happy matter-of-fact kind of way. The kind of way that only lightly says "I heard that order and you're not getting away with anything while MorningChaser is on window! Haha!").
SC: Well....well....I want 2 raw sugars!
Me: Okay.
Smiling all the while I give her her sugars and a stir stick. She takes the sugars, throws the stick back at me and drives off. I make sure to lean out the window, wave, and say "Have a nice day".
Normally I would've been pissed as hell, probably copped an attitude with her, but it was almost one of those rare zen moments where my soul just knew that killing her with kindness would not only make me feel better, but piss her off to the point where it would be HI-freaking-LARIOUS. Ahh...good times. Also, if she was truly in such a hurry, why did she feel she had the time to sit at the window for at least 5 minutes to spar with me at the window? Haha, the eternal paradox that is SC.
I'm in a hurry? Well that's my own damn fault, isn't it?
*pats head*
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