Been a long time since I posted... (long and unorganized)

[Nyx]

...not due to a lack of idiots mind you. They just all seem to be repeats of the same stupidity. So I'm just going to update with all the recent morons who seem to stand out to me.

First off I'd like to remind my customers that we are a ARTS and CRAFTS store, so we do not carry the following:
-vacuums
-aluminum siding
-window tinting
-heat lamps for aquariums
-real (live) flowers or potting soil
-electronics (specifically I-pods)
-denture glue
-rubber bands

OK that last one is totally reasonable. We used to have rubber bands, but we don't anymore. I have NO CLUE why, we just don't. Yelling at me about it won't help; and there's an office supply store literally two doors down! Usually People just walk off in disbelief, but one morning I had a very grumpy old man ask. When I informed him we did not carry them his reply was, "Well I'm going to look anyway!!11eleventy!". I really wish I wasn't so busy at the moment, so I could have seen him off when he finished his search with a smile.

Bloody friggin' coupons

So many of the idiots I get are fratching over the coupons. I was taught that when you receive a coupon or any offer you read it over carefully first. Why can't these people get that through their heads?

I'll get customers from time to time who think they are the cleverest person in the world and print out a dozen or so coupons, then lay all their items on my counter and place a coupon on each thing. Nice try...but no. The coupons say "one per person, per day" and I WILL enforce this. Management is lenient with the different types of coupons; one 50%, one 40% and a (competitor) coupon would fly, twenty 50% ones, not so much. Also it is "PER PERSON" so bring in your kids, I don't care. However it does say "offer excludes...books and magazines". Trust me I hate it too, I'm a broke bibliophile, nuff said. So the other day a lady brought all her kids in to buy many things, of course they were all books, (le sigh) which I always dread to see coming as I know it will be an argument. Her parting words? "I'll just go to (competitor), they'll let me do it." Didn't have the heart to tell her that since some of them were (our brand) books that wouldn't work to well. Oh well, she'll figure it out.

Another point of aggravation is the way the coupons are printed. They are printed from the register with the expiration date in BIG LETTERS at the top and the beginning date in tiny letters underneath. And as we all know SCs don't read, you can see how this is a problem. A lady the other day began yelling at me about how I needed to print them bigger. I told her that corporate would decide that, and that no one there had control over it. She ranted more about how no one she complained to that day would take responsibility for it.

I don't know how to really describe this one, so here's how the conversation went down.
SC: Do you have a coupon you could give me?
Me: No sorry, I don't have any spares.
SC:Well what about that woman who was just here? She had one.
Me: (thinking she meant an employee who had a spare) Who? One of the cashiers?
SC:No! The customer before me. Use that one!
Me: Well we need a copy for each one scanned.
SC: *cattbutt face*
Me: Your total is $xx.xx...
*pays*
Me: ...and your zip code?
SC: I'm not giving that to you!
Me: Ok...*puts in stores zip*
She had another transaction so I began that one.
SC: How do I get a coupon?!
Me: Well, one will print with each of your transactions, and you can sign up for them online and get them in your e-mail.
SC: I don't have a computer!!
Me: Oh, well that's why we are doing a zip code survey, they tally the areas with the most shoppers to send coupons to in the mail. *take her money and enter the stores zip again, without even asking her for hers*
SC: *cattbutt face*
Me:

I am SO rude...apparently...

One night as I was sweeping I ran into a customer who was headed my way, I waved him past and he told me politely that he needed to be where I was. So I quickly stepped aside and he and his family went along. I didn't quite hear what his wife (?) said, but it was something along the lines of I was rude and should have let him go first. He told her "Oh shush, she's working."

...oh so rude...

It finally happened, I knew it would but it took a while. I got yelled at by an overprotective *cough*cunt*cough* mom. I heard some kids running, and smacking each other with the foam swords we sell. So I ventured over and said "Please don't run in here.". They said ok and I turned to go, when she came barreling around a corner shouting "WHAT!11!! HOW DARE YOU!!!?!!!" She began to prattle on at high pitch about how I should talk to her, not them. I tried to say I didn't see her anywhere in sight but she wouldn't let me talk, so I just walked away to her screaming at me. She of course complained and my manager just took me into the office and said basically that yeah, she was the idiot. Apparently she had "just told, her precious snookums to behave". So it obviously didn't work, which is why she was angry I think.

Last but not least...

Not really to do with customers, but just a rant in my own, we have to listen to this song on the overhead once a day as it is in the stores song mix. It is an assault on the ears and perhaps a version of torture. Sorry if you like this song, but we all hate it at work. The first few times I heard it, I couldn't figure out if the CD was broken or not. I curse whatever sick and twisted corporate soul thought to throw it in to the mix, as if we don't suffer enough.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Not really to do with customers, but just a rant in my own, we have to listen to this song on the overhead once a day as it is in the stores song mix. It is an assault on the ears and perhaps a version of torture.

I agree. That kind of music is not conducive to shopping. It's more appropriate for a bar or nightclub, but not a store. I like to be able to hear myself think when I'm shopping.

Maybe that kind of music in the stores is why there are too many SCs. That music turns their brains to mush and they are incapable of thinking and behaving rationally.

[Tigerpounce]

Wow... I listened to exactly 9 seconds of that song before I wanted to skin my own head.

When I worked at the local Preggers Store the overhead played that Springstein song that goes “Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce another runner in the night...” except it TOTALLY sounds like "...wrapped up like a douche..." I LOVED watching the Preggers faces when that line went by.

[Erin]

I was shopping at an arts & crafts store a couple of weeks ago (I'm pretty sure it's probably the same company you work for) and there were two teenage (14? 15?) girls running around with those foam swords, smacking each other. Screaming like 3yr olds.

After having them run past me, screaming (for about the 10th time) I was wishing that I had a real sword to run them thru with.

The thing about them that annoyed me, was that I had a serious vision problem going on at that time, that made it necessary for me to patch my left eye (neurological problem...I was seeing double)

I was standing in the checkout, and they kept looking at me (I had black felt scotch taped to my left lens on my glasses) and making jokes...loud enough for me to hear.

I snapped. I finally turned around and told them that I wished I could be there when karma gets a hold of them. So that I could make fun of their health problems. I was like them once...(not so bratty or rude tho, I was probably more prone to just stare rather than make fun of people) and I thought that I'd have perfect health the rest of my life. Then one day I started having serious vision problems (due to multiple sclerosis) and now I have to deal with this crap several times a year.

MS is a fickle creature too. It does what it wants when it wants, and it doesnt care how embarrassing it is or how much is screws up your everyday life.

Not that I would wish MS on my worst enemy, but wearing that stupid patch on my eye was really annoying, and the screaming they were doing was actually causing me pain in my eyes. (something to do with the nerves for the eyes being close to the nerves for the ears) Plus, them making fun of me because I had an apparent disability really really pissed me off.

Their mom got all pissy about me bitching them out too. Yelled at me. I yelled back. People in line behind them even said something to her, backing me up.

I hate people.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

When I worked at the local Preggers Store the overhead played that Springstein song that goes “Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce another runner in the night...” except it TOTALLY sounds like "...wrapped up like a douche..." I LOVED watching the Preggers faces when that line went by.

You sure it wasn't the Manfred Mann version? The same folks who did "Do Wah Diddy Diddy," which itself is a violation of several of the Geneva Conventions? That's the one I always hear.

[sylvier]

Wow... I listened to exactly 9 seconds of that song before I wanted to skin my own head.

When I worked at the local Preggers Store the overhead played that Springstein song that goes “Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce another runner in the night...” except it TOTALLY sounds like "...wrapped up like a douche..." I LOVED watching the Preggers faces when that line went by.

Good song - wasn't Springsteen, it was Manfred Mann. Yeah, I'm old

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Good song - wasn't Springsteen, it was Manfred Mann. Yeah, I'm old

I think it's a Manfred Mann cover of a Bruce Springsteen song.

[Stormraven]

Yeah, Springsteen wrote it. His version's a little easier to understand, but it didn't make it to the hit parade until MM released it.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Actually, it is a Springsteen song, which I didn't know until right now (some Jersey Girl I am).

"Blinded by the Light" was the first song on, and first single from, Bruce Springsteen's 1973 debut album Greetings from Asbury Park N.J.. Springsteen's version was initially unsuccessful, and failed to appear on the music charts.

Manfred Mann's Earth Band released a version of the song on their album The Roaring Silence. The song reached #1 on Billboard's Hot 100 on 19 February 1977 and #1 on the Canadian RPM chart the same day. Manfred Mann's Earth Band recording of "Blinded by the Light" is Springsteen's only Number 1 single as a songwriter on the Hot 100.

The song is notable for lead vocalist Chris Thompson's garbled enunciation, especially of the phrase "revved up like a deuce" which has led many fans to interpret it as "wrapped up like a douche". The original Springsteen lyric is neither of the above, instead being "cut loose like a deuce". Springsteen once attributed the popularity of the Manfred Mann version partially to Thompson's enunciation.

[Calud]

Wow... I listened to exactly 9 seconds of that song before I wanted to skin my own head.

You're quite the masochist there! 9 seconds, really? I got to 3.

[simplyanother]

Oh, gah, there are several songs in the mix that REALLY drive me crazy. If I bitch about them here, specifically, I'll be immediately identifiable to my co-workers, since I do actually bitch about them at work. They've learned to ignore the music, when it's on (and it's better than the old music, I think, which certain parts reminded me of video game music). Sadly, I don't mind much of the music we play. But there are certain songs I'd just rather have them never, ever EVER play again, ever (this one, which I think sounds really pretty, just drives me crazy and I'd like it to go away.)

(Also, Have you heard about our new birthday party program called it's my birthday? have you heard about our new birthday program...gaaaaaaah. Or "Hi, I'm Shelly Whateverthehellmynameis, and I'm the president of glitter hell, but more importantly, I'm a mom and a customer..." I have grown to hate her).

I'm not sure which is worse, the constant sword fighting with the cheap foam swords or the kids who camp out in front of the little animals and knights/dragons/pirates thingy. And create elaborate scenes in the middle of the floor, while their parents shop...4 aisles away. We mustn't EVER speak to them, lest we feel the wrath of their idiotic parents. But it's okay, we don't fear the parents...

The same ones who get mad when you tell their kids NOT to play on the ladders. Because, apparently they do that all the time at home. Hell, there are things I do all the time at home that I don't do at stores, because it's NOT MY HOME!

We've got the Halloween Lighting display up now. I seriously hate that damned thing, and anything that cackles. Oh yay.

Freaking HATE the coupons. When people bitch at me about them not being accepted on books and mags, I tell them to call corporate and complain. It is a legitamate thing to bitch about, but there isn't anything I can do about it. Like you, Nyx, I cringe when I see someone coming up with nothing but a coupon and a book (or cricut item, or yudo, or any of the other things that are explicitly exempted from the coupon, right there in not too too small print).

AND I STILL get people asking to sign the log, for a coupon. And they still claim "well, you let me do it LAST TIME I WAS HERE!". Awesome, you haven't been to glitter hell in over a year. The rules have changed. You want a coupon, you must have a coupon.

Heh, on the items we don't sell. We also don't have lots of other things that people are SURE Glitter Hell would have. And this is, of course, MY FAULT.

(We also don't carry the Wii.)

(And for the last time, NO, we are NOT going out of business. That state of disaray and empty shelves isn't because OMG we're closing, it's because there is a planogram reset. Honest. No, really, we're not closing. We always have a shit load of clearance merchandise. We really do. No, that paper cutter you want isn't going to be clearenced out. Honest. Waiting for it to do so, will be a very long wait. Really, we're not closing. Your brother said we're closing down? He was mistaken. Honest. No, I'm not shitting you. We're NOT CLOSING. Gah, just go away.)

(All spelling mistakes in this post are because I can't actually spell.)

[BookstoreEscapee]

You're quite the masochist there! 9 seconds, really? I got to 3.

I think I made it to 5...

[craftmafia]

That's where I work too! The birthday recording especially drives me crazy, because we still have the class room set up as a clearance room so we can't actually have birthday parties yet.

[Nyx]

except it TOTALLY sounds like "...wrapped up like a douche..."

LOL That song is so hilarious.

You're quite the masochist there! 9 seconds, really? I got to 3.

Heh, I think my brain begans to sizzle at 1 second.

I'm not sure which is worse, the constant sword fighting with the cheap foam swords or the kids who camp out in front of the little animals and knights/dragons/pirates thingy. And create elaborate scenes in the middle of the floor, while their parents shop...4 aisles away.

Argh! I had one of those today! So many of those things I've found broken...

"well, you let me do it LAST TIME I WAS HERE!".

Lies, lies and slander...

(We also don't carry the Wii.)

LAWL

(And for the last time, NO, we are NOT going out of business.

I've heard other employees mention this, but no customers have asked me yet. (knock on wood)

[simplyanother]

That's where I work too! The birthday recording especially drives me crazy, because we still have the class room set up as a clearance room so we can't actually have birthday parties yet.

Oh, a Clearance room would have been nifty. I'd like a beading room. With cameras. Keep 'em contained when they're doing their shoplifting...

Without the classroom, then we probably wouldn't have had the cake classes, and the instructor sometimes brings us ...cake. I like her. And cake. It's a win win.
But it's all good, because...you know what? It's where CREATIVITY HAPPENS! (groan.)

i've heard other employees mention this, but no customers have asked me yet. (knock on wood)

I think I'm just a magnet for these folks. I have asked my co-workers, and almost none of them report being asked that, and that includes full timers who are there all the danged time. So, apparently, I'm just SPECIAL!

I do know that the customers are NICER on the floor than they are when they get up to the registers. And that's even when there aren't really long lines and they're served immediately. I dunno why. I'm always polite! Honest.

(and that song? Even though I know it's NOT wrapped up like a douche--and it's supposed to be something to do with a deuce, I cannot NOT hear douche...)