The return of banana bread lady and some other stories

[flutes_and_fabric]

The Return of Banana Bread Lady!
If you read my last thread, you'd have heard about banana bread lady. The woman who tried to trade some holy water enhanced banana bread for a spool of purple thread. So yesterday it was just me and my general manager. BBL asked if she could borrow a candy mold, use it, and then bring it back...um, no. So BBL stands by the cutting counter and complements each person that comes through. The compliments end with "Oh, deary, you wouldn't happen to have a dollar?" No one did. My manager makes a call to the cops to let them know there's a woman in the store harassing the customers. No, this lady has already been kicked out once. This time she wants BBL hauled off. So, $2.11 richer, BBL brings her candy mold to the register. By this time a local cop has showed up. He's a really nice guy who actually lives in my neighborhood. BBL buys her candy mold, but is 1 cent short! Oh no! She asks my manager for a penny. Nope. She truly didn't have any on her. BBL turns and screams "Does anyone have a penny! This bitch don't have none for me!" She turns and says "You know, you better watch out! The lord hates you! You's going to hell. You hear me!" At this point the officer steps in and hauls her off. No candy for BBL.

Tree Killers
Why do people tear the coupons out of the paper and then hand me the paper as well! Just give me the whole paper and I'll put it out. Waste! Tree killers!

Coupon Trouble
So we had a special where if you spend over $66 you get a card for $10 off of a $10 or more purchase. Only problem? It ended on the 9th. Yesterday was the 10th. We had so many people screaming at us cause we wouldn't give them the stupid cards.

We're instructed to hand out fliers during certain hours. This woman used a coupon on the flier then freaked out cause we wouldn't give it back to her. The coupon says surrender at time of use. That means you're not getting it back. She insists that no other place keeps her coupons? Oh come on. Really? Then she says the other employees always give them back. Sorry, not going to work. I explain to her that the guidelines on the coupons are put there by corporate, and if I fail to follow those rules I could be putting my job in jeopardy and I'm not going to do that. Would anyone ever find out? No. So why am I not giving her the coupon? Cause she was a bitch. If she weren't then she very well could have gotten that coupon that expired yesterday anyway back.

Scammer

SC buys fabric, returns it, buys it, returns it, buys it, returns it for a 3rd time. Only the 3rd time she was stiffed $40. Well ma'am, no you weren't. You bought a $40 item and it was taken off of the returned items. Oh, you didn't' buy it? Ok, my manager says to call the complaint line cause there's no way to prove you didn't buy the item. Check inventory? Ok, there're 5 in stock and there're 5 in the store. You're not making your case. Oh, now you won't leave until this is resolved? Call the darn complaint line. What? You're talking to my manager and suddenly you don't know what a cricket is? When you spoke to me you knew in great detail that you didn't buy that bunny cricket cartridge, even though the receipt didn't specify what type of cartridge it was. What? You need all our information. Um, no. My manager says no as well. Suddenly you've come up with a story about how the cashier that checked you out seemed very confused, like she didn't know what she was doing. Sorry, she's been here 3 years and knows how to do a return. You still won't leave? Oh look, the cashier that checked you out has stopped by to pick up her paycheck! Hey, she remembers you cause you were a bitch. According to her you expected to have your fabric returned at full price even though you purchased it on sale. Doesn't matter that it's no longer on sale, you're returned what you payed. And yes, you did buy the cartridge! Now we're going to have to ask you to leave and we will be leaving word with the complaint line that you are a potential scammer.

It doesn't work that way

We put all our damages out at 75% off. This woman came up with a bra gel, something you stuff in your bra to fill it out (basically expensive toilet paper) but one was missing. It was in the damages because of this. She wants to know if she can grab a matching one from one of the undamaged boxes and still get the damage price. Nope. That's why it's damaged.

Not Sucky, well...Almost

For all of you non sewers out there I wanna know...you do know the difference between hand needles and machine needles, right? Hand ones have holes and machine ones don't...Apparently this customer didn't know that, purchased hand ones, tried to shove them in her machine, and thusly did damage to said machine. And now she wants us to pay for the damage. The only advice we could give was to check her warranty, which she did not have cause it was an old machine. Yeah, she was just kinda laughed out of the store. She didn't give us any trouble, which is why I'm not classifying her as sucky. She was just stupid.

Do I know you?

Have you ever had a customer who acted like they knew you? This woman was having a whole conversation with me, but she kept forgetting that I didn't know her:

"This is for Mark. He's shorter, you know, so I don't need as much fabric. Oh, and won't this be so cute for Sue! She did say blue was her favorite color, right?"

"Oh, poor Ben. We're divorced now. I was so horrible to that man, I feel so bad for him (I let her know that I felt bad for him too, but she didn't really get the insult)"

SC: This'll match the church perfectly, don't you think?
Me: Ma'am, I've never been to your church.
SC: Oh, you should stop by! We're in the city, right off of blah blah blah.
Me: Yeah...
SC: We're planning a wonderful Thanksgiving service!
Me: Well, I'll actually be at my synagogue for Thanksgiving.
SC: Oh, your people celebrate Thanksgiving?
Me: ...yeah... (This lady had been talking to me for half an hour now over 3 pieces of fabric! It should have taken 5 minutes! I was getting annoyed."

"Don't you think the ring came out wonderful!" (There's someone behind her and I can't get her to leave. So I just suspend her transaction and help the next customers out. She never stops talking.)

SC: What's your name, hon?
Me: *****
SC: With an h?
Me: Yes
SC: That's how I like em! Oh, but honey, I won't see you for a while, I'm going on vacation.
Me: Ok, have a nice time.
SC: I will, see you again!
Me: Ok (Oh god I hope not)

Manager: You know you're not supposed to have personal conversations when there're other customers around to be helped.
Me: I didn't know her...
Manager: ...I'm sorry.



So that was my day, not as bad as my last shift. Didn't have many SCs, just ones who's sanity could be questioned. Good news though, we managed to clean up and get through all our closing duties in just 15 minutes! The rest of the time was spent in the back room with leftover pizza and fudge!

[LillFilly]

I can't believe someone wouldn't know what kind of needle to use in the sewing machine; I guess in their world one was the same as the other.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Your people celebrate a secular holiday, too, huh?

That last one cracked me up. Sorry.

[Willis]

I wouldn't know what needle to use in a sweing machine. Although I'm pretty sure I'd either:
A: Know from having to look in the manual.
B: Ask my dad since he's been sewing for probably 40 something years now. He's not a seamstress or tailor but that was what he wanted to do and just never became one for whatever reason.
C: Or I'd ask the store while armed with my manual or some type of info on the machine. I wouldn't want to run into good old Murphy and have the store tell me I need a model # or that one bit of information that I don't have with me. I really don't like Murphy.

[XCashier]

For all of you non sewers out there I wanna know...you do know the difference between hand needles and machine needles, right? Hand ones have holes and machine ones don't...

Well, machine needles do have holes, just at the other end...and the package usually says very clearly "sewing machine needles".

And if all else fails, ask the store employee!

[EricKei]

I don't even own a Machine (unless the ancient one that is built in to a nifty little desk that's been sitting in our front room for 20 years, unused, counts)... the extent of my sewing knowledge extends to:

- re-attaching buttons

- putting patches on clothing

- making a stuffed pillow. Even this requires a Clean Room, complete silence, caffeine, and a guard dog.

That's it.

...And even I know that, if I need to get needles for a machine, I'm gonna write down the exact model number and just show that piece of paper to the clerk, asking them to help me find the type I need.

[protege]

Well, machine needles do have holes, just at the other end...and the package usually says very clearly "sewing machine needles".

That...and, at least with my grandmother's ancient Singer...have larger shafts to fit into the mechanism. I've helped her set up that machine many times over the years--her arthritis made it impossible to tighten the needle screw, or even to carry the blasted thing to the shop when it needed repairs. Shame she can no longer sew

[Crossbow]

That...and, at least with my grandmother's ancient Singer...have larger shafts to fit into the mechanism. I've helped her set up that machine many times over the years--her arthritis made it impossible to tighten the needle screw, or even to carry the blasted thing to the shop when it needed repairs. Shame she can no longer sew

I know the feeling, Protege. The one thing my grandmother missed most before she passed away this past winter was not being able to sew anymore.... Except she had an ancient White sewing machine instead of Singer. hell, *I* can barely move it, much less her....

[Golden Phoenix]

I recently *found* a 1958 Singer sewing machine dumped in my back yard.

Brought it inside, cleaned it and tried it, the whole thing works fine, even the light bulb is ok.

My mum's a seamstress so i've always known that sewing machine needles are different, but even when using the machine, surely it's easy to see that ti's not like a normal needle?

Oh, i forgot, if it makes sense it's not allowed. I need to rememebr that or i'm gonna break my brain again.

[Anakah]

Oh yeah I get tons of people acting as if they know me or I should remember them. I play along.

[Bunny the Veggie Slayer]

[B].
It doesn't work that way

We put all our damages out at 75% off. This woman came up with a bra gel, something you stuff in your bra to fill it out (basically expensive toilet paper) but one was missing. It was in the damages because of this. She wants to know if she can grab a matching one from one of the undamaged boxes and still get the damage price. Nope. That's why it's damaged.

Is it just me, or is anyone else thinking about Animal House right now?






Ok just me then.

[flutes_and_fabric]

I don't even own a Machine (unless the ancient one that is built in to a nifty little desk that's been sitting in our front room for 20 years, unused, counts)

Aw, that's the kind I have. An old Singer. I love mine. The table was completely messed up cause apparently my great great grandma was a tailor with no talent (we make jokes, anything done half asses is named "Quickly" whatever, quickly cleaning, quickly sewing...the reason for this is cause my g-g-g ma owned a tailor shop (she was a very unusual lady, she was actually divorced and had her own business) and the sleeves would come out different sizes, or she was famous for sewing through both layers when putting on a button. Anyway, the table was handed down to my great grandma who didn't even know it was a sewing machine. It was used in the kitchen and was spilled on and stained. (She was a cook, and just like her mother she was lacking in the talent department there was an incident with a sponge gone missing on passover, it's believed to have ended up in the matzo ball soup.) My great grandma also was divorced and remarried (very unusual at the time). So the worn table (really a sewing machine) was passed on to my grandmother. Apparently my uncle was making some unsavory mind-altering substances (cough cough) and put a hot pot on it which left a big burn ring. Once the dishwasher overflowed and the wooden legs sustained some water damage. My mom's best friend borrowed the thing to work on mending some old curtains. That night her home caught on fire (that was 10 years ago. They rebuilt and the new house is beautiful) Anyway, we went up there to help sift through the wreckage and guess what was still in one piece. A little singed, but still completely functional. Yup, the Singer. So then it went to me. I painted it lime green ^^ but the wood was really crappy after so many years of abuse. So I embarked on a decoupaging project of epic proportions. Finished it a few years ago. I just kept adding layers. Lets just say every magazine in the house (and not just my own house) has some picture or another clipped from it. The sewing machine sits proudly in the corner of my room where it now receives the love and care it's been yearning for all these years.

[Crossbow]

Aw, that's the kind I have. An old Singer. I love mine. The table was completely messed up cause apparently my great great grandma was a tailor with no talent (we make jokes, anything done half asses is named "Quickly" whatever, quickly cleaning, quickly sewing...the reason for this is cause my g-g-g ma owned a tailor shop (she was a very unusual lady, she was actually divorced and had her own business) and the sleeves would come out different sizes, or she was famous for sewing through both layers when putting on a button. Anyway, the table was handed down to my great grandma who didn't even know it was a sewing machine. It was used in the kitchen and was spilled on and stained. (She was a cook, and just like her mother she was lacking in the talent department there was an incident with a sponge gone missing on passover, it's believed to have ended up in the matzo ball soup.) My great grandma also was divorced and remarried (very unusual at the time). So the worn table (really a sewing machine) was passed on to my grandmother. Apparently my uncle was making some unsavory mind-altering substances (cough cough) and put a hot pot on it which left a big burn ring. Once the dishwasher overflowed and the wooden legs sustained some water damage. My mom's best friend borrowed the thing to work on mending some old curtains. That night her home caught on fire (that was 10 years ago. They rebuilt and the new house is beautiful) Anyway, we went up there to help sift through the wreckage and guess what was still in one piece. A little singed, but still completely functional. Yup, the Singer. So then it went to me. I painted it lime green ^^ but the wood was really crappy after so many years of abuse. So I embarked on a decoupaging project of epic proportions. Finished it a few years ago. I just kept adding layers. Lets just say every magazine in the house (and not just my own house) has some picture or another clipped from it. The sewing machine sits proudly in the corner of my room where it now receives the love and care it's been yearning for all these years.

Hell, I'd love to see a picture of that machine and table. Sounds like a truly legendary machine.