Tweet
Been a while! I have had quite the month...been so busy and stressed, there wasn't even enough time to write...or I was too tired to write 
That said, I've had a few doozies.
Restaurant Ailments...
SC: I want to make a reservation for your (busy Christmas-time event that sells out a year in advance EVERY YEAR)
Me: Ok ma'am, unfortunately all of our (event) seatings are fully booked at this time.
SC: What!?
Me: We start reserving them every year on January 2nd, 99% of the seatings are reserved on that day.
SC: But that's not FAIR! I don't know when people will come see me!
It's not fair? FAIR!? To quote Walter, who's the farking Nihilist here!? How in the shit is this unfair? The people who called FIRST and RESERVED the spots shouldn't get it because you can't make plans, then, I don't know, invite some goddamned friends along? Or at least a man whore or something? I don't think you understand the concept of fair, or at least "fair" as much as I care for the word.
Fair is me not giving a shit that you don't make plans when the 900 people who made reservations on January 2nd did. Get over it.
Ok...OK...OK!!!!!
Me: And your first name?
SC: Rodolfo. R-O-D-O-L-F-O
Me: ok-
SC: R-O-D-O-L-F-O
Me: Ok, s-
SC: R-O-D-O-L-F-O
Seriously, stop it! I got it the first time, I really got it the second time, and I honestly started to wonder the third time. Did someone have to slap you to get the needle to stop skipping? Unless your name is honestly Rodolfo Rodolfo Rodolfo, in which case kill your parents, you're being a jackass. Granted, I am quite dumbed down by talking to you and the other parasites that speak to me over the phone on a daily basis, but I still thing I can manage to identify a damn name on the first try.
Hello, Police?
Me: The rates for that room will be $$$ tonight.
SC: Ok... (in the background) Is $$$ okay?
SC2: Do whatever you damn want, woman.
SC: Oh no you... (to me) ...Sorry, I'm gonna have to call you back, motha f*&^er's 'bout to get his ass whipped.
Oh, please, could you pull around to the corner where I can see you from my window? I haven't seen a good Hobo fight this week, but you sound juuuuust classy enough to qualify, and I want to see what weight class you're in.
Spoiler, I bet it's not featherweight. Or "Not-Hooker".
/sigh
Me: Alright, what type of credit card would you like to use?
SC: A debit card.
Me: Ooookaaaay, what type of debit card?
SC: *angry sigh* It's a DEBITUH CARDUH (enunciated just like that).
Me:
...What...type...of...debit...card!?
SC: *yelling* There is no TYPE, damnit! IT'S A DEBIT CARD!!!
Me: Sir...look at the front of the card. Does it say Visa, Mastercard, Discover, or American Express!?
SC: Jesus, it's a goddamned debit card!!! There is no "TYPE"!!!
SC's Friend: (in the background) Dude, what the hell?
SC: He doesn't understand what the hell a debit card is, he keeps asking what type.
SC's Friend: Uh, that's because it says f*&^ing "VISA" on the front of it, f&^%tard.
SC: Oh...uh...ah hell, ain't that some shit...
Yeah, ain't that some shit? You know what buddy, fuck you. You sat there screaming into the damn phone, looking like a jackass in front of your pals, and what do I get from you after you finally realize you're an idiot?
SC: Oh, it's a Visa.
Fuck you! How about "I'm sorry for being such a collosal douchebag"? "I'm sorry for screaming at you because I'm stupid"? "I'm sorry I'm still breathing, or that I ever started"? You've lost my favor, flesh sack. Leave your eyes, tongue, and epidermis at the door, you have been kicked out of the party. Don't forget your helmet before you get on the bus, though I'm not sure it matters...as far as I can tell, another shot to the head certainly couldn't make you dumber than you already are.
Congratulations
I was covering the Operator station a couple times recently, so I was the one transferring calls...and we're busy as all hell in reservations, so naturally with me not in there, there's fewer people and calls are backing up. So I get this moron.
SC: This is the third time I've called, I want to talk to reservations!
Me: Ok sir...
SC: You keep connecting me, the last 2 times I've sat on hold for 10 minutes, and no one picked up!
Me: Sir, our reservations are receiving a very high call volume at the moment. I can connect you again, but there may still be a delay, but by hanging up it will start you at the end of the queue again.
SC: *SIGH* Fine, connect me again.
There should be a law; anyone dumb enough to hang up, call back, complain about the wait, then get put into the line again...TWICE...should just be drawn and quartered. Imagine waiting in line at your favorite restaurant. Then, right as you get near the front of the line, you run to the back, roll around in the poop, then get into the back of the line and complain how long the wait is. Would you do that? No, because anyone reading this isn't a waste of skin, and I'm sure you all have brain cells. IN YOUR BRAINS!
Reservations Boy, however, will just continue rolling around in the poop all day long. Where is the poop from?
You'd rather not know.
Seriously?
This is a co-worker rant, because it just bugs the hell out of me. One of my jobs at the hotel is working e-mail stuff, since I'm quick at it...so every person who sends e-mails about reservations gets directed to Yours Truly, Dr. Smartass. Now, most of the time, I give about as much of a shit as someone would give to a small piece of lint in their belly button. That said, sometimes I do actually care, because hell, I didn't have my nightly shot of bourbon and bitterness last night or something. Who knows.
So, I get this e-mail from a Senior Staff Sergeant stationed in Iraq...she's coming back home, and wants to spend a nice trip with her boyfriend. They get the WORKS...nice room, meals, champagne service, spa massages, EVERYTHING. I happily set it up for her because I'm a softy like that, and I'd like someone in the Military to get to come here for a nice relax, no problem. I spend 1 month...36 days actually...trading e-mails, setting up the stay, and generally making sure everything's perfect. Here's the rundown:
Friday they arrive. They go to dinner, and spend the night. Saturday, they get breakfast, mess around town, go to the spa that evening, and come back to rose petals, champagne, and strawberries in their room.
I'm off Friday, but I get in on Saturday and there's an e-mail...everything's gone wrong with the details so far. The rose petals/champagne/strawberries got delivered on Friday, because idiots can't read the amenity requests, and they delivered it on the wrong day. I spend 4 hours calling employees left and right...we comp the room service and housekeeping. We set everything up. I make sure that EVERYONE in the damn hotel knows this stuff is getting delivered at 7:00pm to 7:20pm that night, no exceptions, and it's free, damnit. Done, right?
NO! They get the stuff right at least, but after they leave...they get their bill. The room service wasn't comped because the front desk guy forgot to do it! AWESOME!!! I spend another hour going through their bill bit by bit, picking it apart, then spend 20 more minutes with accounting refunding them the money correctly.
The upside? I'm apparently this woman's hero...she sent the best letter I've gotten in years in thanks for everything that we did to make sure their 2nd night was perfect. I'm such a softie sometimes...but god I hate the ineptitude cannons when they start firing around me...
That's about all...I have an entire month's worth of BS, but I'm too tired to write it all now, maybe next time
Uncle Khiras, OUT!
Oh, and PS, these people are really making me Crazy. Not like "Oh he's so crazy!"
As in, "We the people find the defendant..."
That said, I've had a few doozies.Restaurant Ailments...
SC: I want to make a reservation for your (busy Christmas-time event that sells out a year in advance EVERY YEAR)
Me: Ok ma'am, unfortunately all of our (event) seatings are fully booked at this time.
SC: What!?
Me: We start reserving them every year on January 2nd, 99% of the seatings are reserved on that day.
SC: But that's not FAIR! I don't know when people will come see me!
It's not fair? FAIR!? To quote Walter, who's the farking Nihilist here!? How in the shit is this unfair? The people who called FIRST and RESERVED the spots shouldn't get it because you can't make plans, then, I don't know, invite some goddamned friends along? Or at least a man whore or something? I don't think you understand the concept of fair, or at least "fair" as much as I care for the word.
Fair is me not giving a shit that you don't make plans when the 900 people who made reservations on January 2nd did. Get over it.
Ok...OK...OK!!!!!
Me: And your first name?
SC: Rodolfo. R-O-D-O-L-F-O
Me: ok-
SC: R-O-D-O-L-F-O
Me: Ok, s-
SC: R-O-D-O-L-F-O
Seriously, stop it! I got it the first time, I really got it the second time, and I honestly started to wonder the third time. Did someone have to slap you to get the needle to stop skipping? Unless your name is honestly Rodolfo Rodolfo Rodolfo, in which case kill your parents, you're being a jackass. Granted, I am quite dumbed down by talking to you and the other parasites that speak to me over the phone on a daily basis, but I still thing I can manage to identify a damn name on the first try.
Hello, Police?
Me: The rates for that room will be $$$ tonight.
SC: Ok... (in the background) Is $$$ okay?
SC2: Do whatever you damn want, woman.
SC: Oh no you... (to me) ...Sorry, I'm gonna have to call you back, motha f*&^er's 'bout to get his ass whipped.
Oh, please, could you pull around to the corner where I can see you from my window? I haven't seen a good Hobo fight this week, but you sound juuuuust classy enough to qualify, and I want to see what weight class you're in.
Spoiler, I bet it's not featherweight. Or "Not-Hooker".
/sigh
Me: Alright, what type of credit card would you like to use?
SC: A debit card.
Me: Ooookaaaay, what type of debit card?
SC: *angry sigh* It's a DEBITUH CARDUH (enunciated just like that).
Me:
...What...type...of...debit...card!?SC: *yelling* There is no TYPE, damnit! IT'S A DEBIT CARD!!!
Me: Sir...look at the front of the card. Does it say Visa, Mastercard, Discover, or American Express!?
SC: Jesus, it's a goddamned debit card!!! There is no "TYPE"!!!
SC's Friend: (in the background) Dude, what the hell?
SC: He doesn't understand what the hell a debit card is, he keeps asking what type.
SC's Friend: Uh, that's because it says f*&^ing "VISA" on the front of it, f&^%tard.
SC: Oh...uh...ah hell, ain't that some shit...
Yeah, ain't that some shit? You know what buddy, fuck you. You sat there screaming into the damn phone, looking like a jackass in front of your pals, and what do I get from you after you finally realize you're an idiot?
SC: Oh, it's a Visa.
Fuck you! How about "I'm sorry for being such a collosal douchebag"? "I'm sorry for screaming at you because I'm stupid"? "I'm sorry I'm still breathing, or that I ever started"? You've lost my favor, flesh sack. Leave your eyes, tongue, and epidermis at the door, you have been kicked out of the party. Don't forget your helmet before you get on the bus, though I'm not sure it matters...as far as I can tell, another shot to the head certainly couldn't make you dumber than you already are.
Congratulations
I was covering the Operator station a couple times recently, so I was the one transferring calls...and we're busy as all hell in reservations, so naturally with me not in there, there's fewer people and calls are backing up. So I get this moron.
SC: This is the third time I've called, I want to talk to reservations!
Me: Ok sir...
SC: You keep connecting me, the last 2 times I've sat on hold for 10 minutes, and no one picked up!
Me: Sir, our reservations are receiving a very high call volume at the moment. I can connect you again, but there may still be a delay, but by hanging up it will start you at the end of the queue again.
SC: *SIGH* Fine, connect me again.
There should be a law; anyone dumb enough to hang up, call back, complain about the wait, then get put into the line again...TWICE...should just be drawn and quartered. Imagine waiting in line at your favorite restaurant. Then, right as you get near the front of the line, you run to the back, roll around in the poop, then get into the back of the line and complain how long the wait is. Would you do that? No, because anyone reading this isn't a waste of skin, and I'm sure you all have brain cells. IN YOUR BRAINS!
Reservations Boy, however, will just continue rolling around in the poop all day long. Where is the poop from?
You'd rather not know.
Seriously?
This is a co-worker rant, because it just bugs the hell out of me. One of my jobs at the hotel is working e-mail stuff, since I'm quick at it...so every person who sends e-mails about reservations gets directed to Yours Truly, Dr. Smartass. Now, most of the time, I give about as much of a shit as someone would give to a small piece of lint in their belly button. That said, sometimes I do actually care, because hell, I didn't have my nightly shot of bourbon and bitterness last night or something. Who knows.
So, I get this e-mail from a Senior Staff Sergeant stationed in Iraq...she's coming back home, and wants to spend a nice trip with her boyfriend. They get the WORKS...nice room, meals, champagne service, spa massages, EVERYTHING. I happily set it up for her because I'm a softy like that, and I'd like someone in the Military to get to come here for a nice relax, no problem. I spend 1 month...36 days actually...trading e-mails, setting up the stay, and generally making sure everything's perfect. Here's the rundown:
Friday they arrive. They go to dinner, and spend the night. Saturday, they get breakfast, mess around town, go to the spa that evening, and come back to rose petals, champagne, and strawberries in their room.
I'm off Friday, but I get in on Saturday and there's an e-mail...everything's gone wrong with the details so far. The rose petals/champagne/strawberries got delivered on Friday, because idiots can't read the amenity requests, and they delivered it on the wrong day. I spend 4 hours calling employees left and right...we comp the room service and housekeeping. We set everything up. I make sure that EVERYONE in the damn hotel knows this stuff is getting delivered at 7:00pm to 7:20pm that night, no exceptions, and it's free, damnit. Done, right?
NO! They get the stuff right at least, but after they leave...they get their bill. The room service wasn't comped because the front desk guy forgot to do it! AWESOME!!! I spend another hour going through their bill bit by bit, picking it apart, then spend 20 more minutes with accounting refunding them the money correctly.
The upside? I'm apparently this woman's hero...she sent the best letter I've gotten in years in thanks for everything that we did to make sure their 2nd night was perfect. I'm such a softie sometimes...but god I hate the ineptitude cannons when they start firing around me...
That's about all...I have an entire month's worth of BS, but I'm too tired to write it all now, maybe next time
Uncle Khiras, OUT!Oh, and PS, these people are really making me Crazy. Not like "Oh he's so crazy!"
As in, "We the people find the defendant..."
Comment