Parking Idiots

[Maevis]

PI: Parking Idiot

Me: Would the person who owns the blue car please come to the front counter

PI: Did I leave my lights on?

Me: No. But you are parked in the No Parking Zone. (on the Sidewalk in front of our door that has numerous NO PARKING signs.) Please move your car.

PI: But I'm only going to be here a few minutes.

(Yeah, right...he had his entire family in the store, scattered in different directions)

Me: Sir, You are parked illegaly, please move your car.

PI: What is your problem?!! Why are you making such a big deal out of this?

Me: Sir, Move Your Car.

At this point several other customers have come to the front to check out and are staring at the guy.

PI: Why should I move my car?!!

Me: Sir, you are parked in the NO PARKING ZONE. Please Move Your Car NOW.

PI looks around and sees the other people staring at him.

PI: FINE! I don't know WHY you keep telling me I'm parked in the No Parking Zone...I know where I parked...I'M NOT BLIND!!!

Me: (under my breath...Illiterate then?)

[skeptic53]

After the second request to move, perhaps tell the next SC "I'm calling the tow truck now" and do so.

[Captain Trips]

This reminds me of what I call the "handicapped zone paradox":

If you are parked in the disabled parking spot without the appropriate placard/license plate, you are obviously qualified to park there due to either being visually or mentally disabled.

This "no parking zone" idjit should qualify under the latter category!

[Auto]

After the second request to move, perhaps tell the next SC "I'm calling the tow truck now" and do so.

It's what I would have done. Ask once. Repeat myself if situation called for it. Then if he's still not getting the message, I'd ask cops to cite him.

[Maevis]

The tow truck response time is generally two to three hours.

Call the police? I'm pretty sure they would laugh at me and tell me to handle it
myself. Their have been times when I have called the police because there were tweakers/drunks in the store who where threatening me and the customers, but unless they actually hit someone or pull out a weapon, the police aren't coming.

Aside from repeatedly asking for a car to be moved until they are either too embarressed to refuse or just want me to shut up is about the only option I've come up with.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

I saw one creative solution dealing with some jackass parking his "+5 truck of penis compensation" across 3 handicap parking spaces in front of a automotive parts store.

This one guy parked his truck and came in to pick up a large parts order. He dropped off his list and when told that it would take an hour to get everything together, went to the sub shop next door while his parts were picked and boxed. When confronted by an irate customer he told him to "fornicate off" and kept going.

The irate customer went up to the counter and while waiting for the clerk to be free chatted with me and was musing on how to deal with a guy like that. My suggestion was to pull the valve cores from the tires so all the air would run out. He then asked me about how much the tool cost and I told hin that it's anywhere from 99 cents to 2 bucks. He asked me to hold his place in line and he went and got one, paid for it and the rest of his purchases and left the store.

When I left the store with my oil change kit I walked past the truck and noticed that all four tires were a little flat. Not wanting to be there when the owner of the truck went postal I made a hasty retreat.

It does warm my heart wondering what happened to him next.

M

[Cedophile]

My suggestion was to pull the valve cores from the tires so all the air would run out. He then asked me about how much the tool cost and I told hin that it's anywhere from 99 cents to 2 bucks. He asked me to hold his place in line and he went and got one, paid for it and the rest of his purchases and left the store.

I dunno, dude. Not that he didn't deserve every bit of it, but I mean, going for property damage to get back at him is a crappy thing to do. Too passive aggressive, anyway (although my favorite kind), he probably never got the point.

[MadMike]

I dunno, dude. Not that he didn't deserve every bit of it, but I mean, going for property damage to get back at him is a crappy thing to do. Too passive aggressive, anyway (although my favorite kind), he probably never got the point.

Agreed. While I have no sympathy for an asshole like that, we do not condone illegal activity or destruction of property here.

[chainedbarista]

"+5 truck of penis compensation"

omg!

we get those too; the lot's really small, so when some asshat driving the 'compensation truck' shows up, it gets even smaller. trying to get these egomaniacs to understand anything beyond 'my truck' is impossible; they simply don't care, as demonstrated by the caring response of the driver in mongo's post.

[MystyGlyttyr]

I don't think Mongo seriously meant to encourage the guy to go out and do that, but once the idea got in the guy's head, he just decided to go and do it on his own.

...besides, you can let all the air out of someone's tires without damaging them by just taking the metal stick out of a box of hair highlighter and jamming it in the place where the air goes in for about three minutes a tire. You don't need to actually buy one of those things...

Not that I know anything about deboning people's tires...

Me personally, though, I'm the type to just leave a couple dozen shopping carts arranged all around his car so he has to move them all before he can back out. (Of course, turned so that they won't bump into the precious super car Oldsmobile...)

[RecoveringKinkoid]

"+5 truck of penis compensation"



We had an agreement worked out with a local towing company. I'm fairly certain the guy could teleport to the Kinko's lot. Sometimes, he's be idling in a nearby lot.

He made so much money off towing cars for us and some of the nearby businesses, he had to buy more trucks and hire more staff. I wonder if that's all he did, haul off illegal parks. We had a system. I'd just run out there and tag the car with a red "Tow Me" sign (we called them "Tow Tags...hyuk hyuk.) and he'd make his rounds and snatch that car so fast it would make your head spin. If I actually had to call him, he would usually be there inside of five minutes.

It was fun. The "walkers" (thus dubbed because theywould park illegally and then walk off down the street) thought they had some time before they'd get busted. I've seen the truck pull in behind them AS THEY WERE WALKING AWAY.

Man, I loved that guy.

[ArenaBoy]

I"+5 truck of penis compensation"

I not only get that type of person in my lot but I get +10 SUV PC, +15 Sports Car PC, and my personal favorite the +25 Escalade PC. These people will never learn that their car is not going to get them status or that the world does not revolve around them.

[skeptic53]

The tow truck response time is generally two to three hours.

See Recoveringkinkoid's post... sounds like you should go to the bank and get a loan, start up a towing company in your town.

On the other hand, here in Latte Land, there have been problems with predatory tow companies that claim permission from a business and tow people who don't deserve a tow, just because they parked in the lot for more than one errand.

http://archives.seattletimes.nwsourc...&date=20050129

[Crosshair]

Call the police? I'm pretty sure they would laugh at me and tell me to handle it
myself.

The cops usualy come rather quickly if we call them. It is a large fine for parking in the fire lane.

[Maevis]

Well, maybe next time I'll call the police...but I'm not sure I can handle the despair I would feel to find out that they'll respond to a parking violation when they won't respond to crackheads screaming and spitting threats at me.