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I'm getting so sick and tired of people. I work for a small authorized retailer selling cell phones. We are currently slightly understaffed and definitely overworked. This time of year is my store's busy season. I took a week for vacation, and alas, it was not enough.
So, to my customers. The following are my new rules of customer service.
1) the more condescending your tone, the less helpful I become.
2) if I sold you your phone, I most likely provided you with excellent customer service. calling me 3 months later and flipping the switch to asshole because there was a mistake on your bill, will not make me sympathetic to your cause. If *I* made a mistake and you point it out to me, I will gladly own up to it and call customer service on your behalf to get a resolution. If you start the conversation with, "Hi Fox! You sold me my phones three months ago! (flip switch) THERE WAS A LINE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CANCEL *garble dee curse curse*" will get you no sympathy or help from me. (she was asking me to do something my store had no control over as it was- as an added bonus, she did not make that request 3 months prior when I sold her the new phone)
3) here's a hint. if you don't want to wait, don't come to my store on a rainy Saturday afternoon. Guess what everyone else in beach town is doing on a RAINY SATURDAY AFTERNOON! (psst, they aren't at the beach)
4) Yes. Those are our prices. I know it's cheaper on the internet, at Wal-Mart, RadioShack, etc. You want customer service? Guess what? You have to pay for it.
5) Bought it over the internet/Wal-Mart/RadioShack? No. We won't replace it/teach you how to use it/accept a return. You didn't buy it from us. Take your cheap-ass back to where you got it from.
6) Yes you got it wet. No you can't make a warranty claim. Yelling at me will not change the stickers in your phone back to "white" or magically erase the corrosion on the battery connectors. Nor will it change the fact that you cannot make a warranty claim.
7) No I can't get you a replacement phone today. I don't care how much business you will lose. I don't care that you will go into financial ruin if you don't have a phone for 2 days. Perhaps you should have thought about this and had a plan B.
8) For the love of all that is holy, if you have a PDA that you depend on for business, back the damn thing up to your desktop. It comes with the software and instructions for a reason! (requests for data transfer have gotten so overwhelming in our store that we actually started charging for the service- we're tired of dealing with people's laziness)
9) RTFM.
10) Activations take upwards of 30 mins. Coming in when it is less than 30mins to close means I will not start any activations for you. I don't care who you are or what your circumstances are. I have a life outside of work, too. (bonus points if you come in 3 mins to close, I politely inform you that I am closing, and you throw an epic shit fit about not being able to get 2 new phones and threaten to switch providers. extra bonus points if you are a customer that I did tremendous favors for in the past and you have so little respect for me as to demand services when you KNOW my shift is up)
I need another vacation
So, to my customers. The following are my new rules of customer service.
1) the more condescending your tone, the less helpful I become.
2) if I sold you your phone, I most likely provided you with excellent customer service. calling me 3 months later and flipping the switch to asshole because there was a mistake on your bill, will not make me sympathetic to your cause. If *I* made a mistake and you point it out to me, I will gladly own up to it and call customer service on your behalf to get a resolution. If you start the conversation with, "Hi Fox! You sold me my phones three months ago! (flip switch) THERE WAS A LINE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CANCEL *garble dee curse curse*" will get you no sympathy or help from me. (she was asking me to do something my store had no control over as it was- as an added bonus, she did not make that request 3 months prior when I sold her the new phone)
3) here's a hint. if you don't want to wait, don't come to my store on a rainy Saturday afternoon. Guess what everyone else in beach town is doing on a RAINY SATURDAY AFTERNOON! (psst, they aren't at the beach)
4) Yes. Those are our prices. I know it's cheaper on the internet, at Wal-Mart, RadioShack, etc. You want customer service? Guess what? You have to pay for it.
5) Bought it over the internet/Wal-Mart/RadioShack? No. We won't replace it/teach you how to use it/accept a return. You didn't buy it from us. Take your cheap-ass back to where you got it from.
6) Yes you got it wet. No you can't make a warranty claim. Yelling at me will not change the stickers in your phone back to "white" or magically erase the corrosion on the battery connectors. Nor will it change the fact that you cannot make a warranty claim.
7) No I can't get you a replacement phone today. I don't care how much business you will lose. I don't care that you will go into financial ruin if you don't have a phone for 2 days. Perhaps you should have thought about this and had a plan B.
8) For the love of all that is holy, if you have a PDA that you depend on for business, back the damn thing up to your desktop. It comes with the software and instructions for a reason! (requests for data transfer have gotten so overwhelming in our store that we actually started charging for the service- we're tired of dealing with people's laziness)
9) RTFM.
10) Activations take upwards of 30 mins. Coming in when it is less than 30mins to close means I will not start any activations for you. I don't care who you are or what your circumstances are. I have a life outside of work, too. (bonus points if you come in 3 mins to close, I politely inform you that I am closing, and you throw an epic shit fit about not being able to get 2 new phones and threaten to switch providers. extra bonus points if you are a customer that I did tremendous favors for in the past and you have so little respect for me as to demand services when you KNOW my shift is up)
I need another vacation
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