bitch, and thats putting it nicely

[vacation_rentals_suck]

Guest: yea Dave, I saw your agreement and it says I have to purchase travel insurance to cancel within 30 days of arrival or I lose the total amount

Me: yes ma'am

Guest: ok I need you to explain why

Me: because these are privately owned villas, we offer travel insurance and if you dont take it, you assume the risk

Guest: that is not a satisfactory explanation, Dave.

Me: I'm sorry, ma'am

Guest: well sorry doesnt resolve this....I need assurance that if I cancel, I get a full refund

Me: well thats why we offer travel insurance

Guest: I dont want travel insurance. I shouldnt have to take it

Me: you dont have to

Guest: well I still want a full refund if I cancel

Me: we cant do that

Guest: Dave, your nonchalant attitude is upsetting me

Me: ma'am, I am very sorry

Guest: is that all you can say? You dont seem one but sympathetic to my concerns and quite frankly, it's making me very angry.

brief silence

Guest: ok a response would be nice here

Me: response to what?

Guest: oh just forget it...may I please speak with a competent, intelligent person in your office please?

Me: sure one moment

[tamezin]

Aren't things kind of winding down for you? Do you go into a slower time of the year?

[NateTheChops]

Guest: oh just forget it...may I please speak with a competent, intelligent person in your office please?

Me: Speaking?

Edited to illustrate just how long I'd last at this job.

Dave, I applaud you for your calmness, honestly. If you're ever in Vermont a good night of hard drinking is on me.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Edited to illustrate just how long I'd last at this job.

Dave, I applaud you for your calmness, honestly. If you're ever in Vermont a good night of hard drinking is on me.

Ditto for Vegas. By now, I'm not sure if you've become so desensitized to the bullshit that you've gone a bit snarky, or the place has finally crushed your soul and broken your will to live.

And if booze can fix the latter, it's on me.

[Gruesome]

Dave, either you killed a thousand puppies in a previous life and karma is kicking your ass for it, or your voice must simply drip with venom for all these jokers to go so postal on you. Admit it - you wear your contempt on your sleeve when you deal with these jackasses, don't ya? I'm not blaming you - please don't misunderestimate me - I'm just saying...

PS - A new post from you is like an unexpected present. I look forward to your posts the most.

[Calvin St.Hobbes]

She doesn't like the non chalent attitude?
I'm guessing she wants to press the "instagrovel" button then?

[South Texan]

Guest: oh just forget it...may I please speak with a competent, intelligent person in your office please?

"sure one moment while I locate someone."

Put on hold. Wait to see how long until she strokes out or gives up.

If she calls back, restate that you still are attempting to locate someone competent and intelligent enough to lose their job by agreeing to something against explicit company rules. Then put on hold again.

[tropicsgoddess]

Dave, I applaud you for your calmness, honestly. If you're ever in Vermont a good night of hard drinking is on me.

Count Ft.Lauderdale in on this one!

[taurinejunkie]

Hello Dave! (link provided for no reason other than because it's damn hilarious)

I'm adding Quebec City to the List Of Cities Where You Can Drink For Free.

[RedRoseSpiral]

Add St. Louis onto that list. You my man need a drink.

[Megg]

If she calls back, restate that you still are attempting to locate someone competent and intelligent enough to lose their job by agreeing to something against explicit company rules. Then put on hold again.

Best. Idea.Ever.

[Andrew B.]

Add St. Louis onto that list. You my man need a drink.

Kansas City, MO as well. It won't be much, but I like you.

[tamezin]

Kansas City, MO as well. It won't be much, but I like you.

After you hit KC, head north to St. Joe...

[NateTheChops]

Liquid road trip!

[BigBird]

Whenever I read one of your posts now, Dave, I hear the voice of the customer in the voice of Hal the computer from 2001: A Space Odyssey, something like this, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukeHdiszZmE. Anyone else get this?

And if you're heading up to Canada anytime soon, we'll buy you drinks up here too.