Quick one from today and new SC's!

[Nurian]

My new job involves calling people to see if they need supplies for their sleep apnea machines. I actually like this job. Most people are glad I call or they hang up. Still, there are some...

This isn't so much sucky as just plain weird.

Me: Hi, this is (company). May I speak to (customer)?
W: She's......not.....here right........now............

It's exactly the same tone of voice of someone who's trying to hide something. What, is she tied up in the back? Are you robbing her? Are you taking her machine?

An addendum:
I hereby formally introduce a new class of SC: The Voicemail SC or VMSC. These are the people that "think" they're being cute with their outgoing vm message. Now, I will admit, there are some nice messages, like where they have their grandkids say the message. But some are just....no.

"Hi, you called (customer). I'm probably nekkid with a beer. So if you're a sweet soundin' girl, leave me a message!"

[tropicsgoddess]

Wow...just...wow.

[HYHYBT]

My new job involves calling people to see if they need supplies for their sleep apnea machines. I actually like this job. Most people are glad I call or they hang up.

Pardon me for asking, and I know it's not really what the thread is to be about, but what is the procedure in that line of work if you're told the person you called to speak to has passed away?

[bainsidhe]

Pardon me for asking, and I know it's not really what the thread is to be about, but what is the procedure in that line of work if you're told the person you called to speak to has passed away?

Um, stop calling?

[Nurian]

bainsidhe said it actually. Empathize (which I'd do any way) and remove them from the list.

[chainedbarista]

"Hi, you called (customer). I'm probably nekkid with a beer. So if you're a sweet soundin' girl, leave me a message!"

yeeeaaahh, i'll get right on that.

i could use some of that bleach, and not just for my brain.

[BuggedMei]

Working debt collection *runs from the nearest torch bearing user* led to some entertaining voicemail messages.

The best was a woman who went on for a solid 5 minutes about how she was pregnant, hormonal, and couldn't pay her bill... still had to leave a message x.x; Listening to her rant every week was a pain. I always wondered how few people called her if she could cater her voicemail to me.

[Soulstealer]

The best was a woman who went on for a solid 5 minutes about how she was pregnant, hormonal, and couldn't pay her bill... still had to leave a message x.x;

I hate it when women use pregnancy and hormones to get out of things. Yes it's a physical limitation after a few weeks, yes you're a bit more moody, but in no way has it made you an idiot and an invalid if you weren't before getting knocked up except for a few rare circumstances.

How much would you bet that she'd have had some other sob story if she wasn't pregnant?

[HYHYBT]

I thought so. The reason I asked is that, a few days after Grandaddy died, his hearing aid company called about ordering replacement batteries. When Grandma explained why he wouldn't be needing them, instead of saying "oh, I'm sorry, we'll take his name off the list" their response was "oh, well then would *you* like to buy some?"

[NateTheChops]

I'm probably nekkid with a beer. So if you're a sweet soundin' girl, leave me a message!"

It's the naked aspect that bothers me. It's pronouncing it "nekkid" that makes me pour the bleach.

[Geekus Rex]

Working debt collection *runs from the nearest torch bearing user* led to some entertaining voicemail messages.

As a fellow debt collector *ducks flying torch* I have also heard some good ones...

But probably the best one so far was probably the "mental health hotline"

If you have OCD press 1 repeatedly
If you have multiple personalities press 2, 3, and 4
If you are depressed don't press anything, no one cares
If you are paranoid don't press anything, we know where you are and are on our way...

[Jay 2K Winger]

As a fellow debt collector *ducks flying torch* I have also heard some good ones...

But probably the best one so far was probably the "mental health hotline"

If you have OCD press 1 repeatedly
If you have multiple personalities press 2, 3, and 4
If you are depressed don't press anything, no one cares
If you are paranoid don't press anything, we know where you are and are on our way...

If you are co-dependent, have someone else press 5 for you.

[MergedLoki]

I'm all for funny answering machine msgs. mine in college was 'A is for academics, B is for beer, one of those reasons is why I'm not here so leave a message' :P

but yea.. 'i'm naked and have beer' is just a desperate plea and/or the worst pick up line ever.