I'd like to sign up as an official Fan Girl please! I hope there are still places left.
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Scrapyard Stories (WARNING: quite long with some icky parts (clearly pre-marked))
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Can I make a request? Paragraphs.
Paragraphs are your friend. Please please please use paragraphs. It made my eyes hurt trying to read this and even attempt to follow along.Random conversation:
Me: Okay..so I think I get why Zoro wears a bandana
DDD: Cuz it's cool
So, by using the Doctor's reasoning, bow ties, fezzes and bandanas are cool.
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He once fell down the stairs with a full litre of bourbon and never spilled a drop.
He simply kept his mouth shut…
the “Nosy on-looker”. Typically not a SC by definition (I believe “a purchase” would necessarily be involved to gain that title), but seriously annoying to the point of wanting to stuff him into a bush hog after 5 or 6 hours of his well-intentioned banter. These characters are usually harmless old pharts; veterans (of course), retired and nothing better to do before the VFW hall opens, than to come over and regale us with endless stories. As mentioned, they never buy/sell anything, just stand on the sidelines and give free advice (which is worth every penny) and a running commentary.Time! Time! Time is what turns kittens into cats.
Don't teach me a lesson; all I learn is that you are an asshole.
I wish porn had subtitles.
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Laughs and points, "Holy shit this is funny. Yeah, i agree with the others, you should get paid for writing this. Heck, depending on how many stories you have with your other jobs, if they're half as good as this, you could write a full book, and make a fair bit of change. Either way, definitely enjoyed this mess."Seph
Taur10
"You're supposed to be the head of covert intelligence. Right now, I'm not seeing a hell of a lot of intelligence. Covert, overt, or otherwise!"-Lochley, B5, A View from the Gallery
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You are so thoroughly lucky you never had to deal with aluminum cans at your yard. I swear to the gods the people who brought cans in decided it would be better to bury them in the backyard and let them 'age' first before bringing them in. The stench was atroucious.
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Wow, that is epically golden, every bit of it.
Quoth fma_fanatic View PostCan I make a request? Paragraphs.
Paragraphs are your friend. Please please please use paragraphs. It made my eyes hurt trying to read this and even attempt to follow along.
^-.-^Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden
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Paragraphic content
Quoth fma_fanatic View PostCan I make a request? Paragraphs.
Paragraphs are your friend. Please please please use paragraphs. It made my eyes hurt trying to read this and even attempt to follow along.
Don't know what happened, but they were there when I filed the report. Got etherized somewhere 'tween twixt and nigh.
But, you are correct. It is a bit less eyeball-bending this way.
Cheers.Last edited by Doc Rocknocker; 09-25-2009, 10:05 AM.
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Quoth Doc Rocknocker View Post...But, you are correct. It is a bit less eyeball-bending this way.
Cheers.I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.
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Quoth Doc Rocknocker View PostSorry I’ve been gone so long, but between Omantel censoring this website (evidently “sucky” is on their proscribed list) and me partaking of my annual 7-weeks worth (Business Class, no less; sheesh…Vegas sucks lately) of vacation, well, I wasn’t here.
Some of the online games I have played that are hosted on other shores are sometimes overly-censored, particularly in context. For example, there was one golf game I played where you could not say the word "hole." I ask you, how is it possible to discuss a game of golf without mentioning holes? Oh, that's right, you do what children everywhere have done for ages and use a euphemism.
^-.-^Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden
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Your stories are amazing, you really should write a book about them. And they're very well-written and humorous, to say the least.
And 'flying Philadelphia french-fried fuck' is now my favorite curse of all time. Especially since I'm from PA. Very nice!http://www.customerssuck.com/?p=7499
Now appearing in comic form!
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Rottweilers named Adolph and Rommel.
I need some advise on retrieving a stolen object.
A bit of my RL, but being that my dad died 20 years ago, me and mom had tons of "friends" come by and take my dad's stuff he had outside, like tools, siding, etc. Recently, there is this guy who comes cut our lawn. Mom let him take a bunch of junk from a second house we rented out. So besides cutting grass, he takes junk. Also, when cutting grass, I would find plants I was tendering cut down. I'm totally chessed off about that.
Unfortunately, recently, the idiot got a friend to help us clean out the unknown part of the Amazon forest in Texas that is our yard. Now some of the mess we wanted cut, but the idiot got his friend to cut more than we wanted. In a way it was ok, in that he didn't cut anything we wanted, but we didn't have the money to pay for the excess trimming. The reason the idiot wanted that extra wildness cut? So he can have access to some junk.
Now we owe the friend money.
But that is not all.
We had some useless, small machine in the garden. The friend got it out. Then a whole bunch of stuff went missing. I asked the idiot about the missing mahcine and he said the friend took it. A few days latter I see the friend again and he said all he did was load up the stuff into the idiot's truck. So I go back to the idiot. He said he took it to some junk yard off of the hwy. I told him I wanted that machine back.
It's been more than a month.
So, I have 2 junk yards to go to to find the machine. Should I say, 1) It was stolen; 2) the whole story and ask for it back, since it was taken without my permission or 3) the whole story, pay for the machine, ask for a receipt, and ask the idiot to pay what I paid to get the machine back?
Also, I don't know if the idiot paid his friend any money of whatever he took to the junk yard. See, the idiot never tells us he sells the junk. I think he wants us to think he is doing us a big favor of hauling junk away. Ass.Time! Time! Time is what turns kittens into cats.
Don't teach me a lesson; all I learn is that you are an asshole.
I wish porn had subtitles.
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Quoth Doc Rocknocker View PostAnd so (*DINK* of the magic editing buttons), it has been done.
Don't know what happened, but they were there when I filed the report. Got etherized somewhere 'tween twixt and nigh.
But, you are correct. It is a bit less eyeball-bending this way.
Cheers.
OMG that was hilarious. Definitely worth the epic readRandom conversation:
Me: Okay..so I think I get why Zoro wears a bandana
DDD: Cuz it's cool
So, by using the Doctor's reasoning, bow ties, fezzes and bandanas are cool.
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Gravekeeper, I'm sorry. It's over. I have a new hero now. You can check your cape at the door. o_O
Doc - That was pure, unadulterated, concentrated Awesomenium. Really, really wonderful, and a thoroughly enjoyable Read. I second/third/whatever the notion that you should look into getting it published, either on its own or as part of a longer work ("Scrapyard Rant"...?)
That being said,...
You Bastard. It's gonna take me DAYS to pick out all of the Hitchhiker's Guide references in there. “A lightly grilled weasel with fries", indeed. Now I have to go back and re-read the entire four-book trilogy (not 5 books -- Mostly Harmless does not exist in my universe) just so I can see if I missed any.
Thanks A L...Wait. It's an excuse to re-read the only books I have devoured more often and more giddily than LoTR, in depth, and in detail.
On second thought, Thanks!
And, just to toss another h2g2 reference into the pot, "I get weirder stuff than you with my breakfast cereal". I mean it. Really.
"For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
"The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
"Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
"There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
"Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
"Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
"Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me
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