Irony? [NSFW + Please don't hate me]

[Hyena Dandy]

Please, PLEASE don't hate me for this one... >_>






So here's the story. I read Tarot for a living, but that's not the only thing I do. I also write pornography for commission. I've got a fanboy who's able to keep me pretty well supplied with money. In return, I keep him well supplied with particularly sadistic pornography. Now why he likes it, I don't know, but money's money, and I like money, so I write it for him. The stories he likes are about torturing women (Actually, female furries. He doesn't stand for torturing real women)... And no, he's not a twisted psychopath. He's just a relatively normal guy (maybe a little Aspergerstastic) who likes stories about femtorture. Which is good, because if I'm going to have a creepy guy who bugs me every couple weeks about writing porn for him, I'd hate to think he was CRAZY.

Anyway, as I said. He's not a psychopath. He has a lot of respect for women... Which brings us to what you might call the crux of the problem. You see, he commissioned me for a story on Yiffstar (series of four, actually) of femtorture. I am not a dishonest man, so I deliver on the promise of two pages per chapter of pointless sadistic porn. And then comes the complaint.

He thinks its sexist.




Let me repeat this. He is paying me forty dollars to write pointless femtorture stories AND THEN COMPLAINS THAT THEY ARE SEXIST.

>_> DUDE. If you don't want to hurt people, maybe sadism isn't for you. Because really, I don't get any enjoyment whatsoever out of writing the stories. If you want me to write something else, fine. If you want me to be torturing guys instead, I'm definitely all for that. I'd probably enjoy it more. Hell, if you want me to write a story in which people sit around drinking tea, I'll do that, because I'm a greedy son of a bitch.

But please, PLEASE don't commission me for a story series about degrading people and then complain that they are, in fact, degraded. THAT IS THE ENTIRE POINT.








Anyway, I'd like to close by saying that I in no way condone sexual violence against women. Abuse is wrong in any form. Fantasy is not reality, and should never be acted upon without consent. And never, ever do something you find in one of my stories. Its probably illegal, possibly immoral, and (usually) physically impossible.

[bunnyboy]

And never, ever do something you find in one of my stories. Its probably illegal, possibly immoral, and (usually) physically impossible.

I thought that was 90% of Written Furry porn....

well that and IIMYI... or if the story involves rabbits IIEYI.


oh and for the uninitiated...
IIMYI= If It Moves Yiff It (basically anything that moves gets screwed)
IIEYI= if it EXISTS Yiff it (everything is fucked....so basically someone doing a fan-work involving Puppy from Retarded Animal Babies)

[Plaidman]

One of my buddies writes on Yiffstar. It was how he met his husband.

His stories are.. um. Strange, but he's a popular arthour on there I guess. I don't read them.

[jerkface11]

if you want me to write a story in which people sit around drinking tea, I'll do that

I think Jane Austin beat you to that.

[bunnyboy]

I think Jane Austin beat you to that.

but to make it really good it needed more zombies.

[Lace Neil Singer]

but to make it really good it needed more zombies.

And definitely a tank and possibly curry.

[Hyena Dandy]

I thought that was 90% of Written Furry porn....

well that and IIMYI... or if the story involves rabbits IIEYI.


oh and for the uninitiated...
IIMYI= If It Moves Yiff It (basically anything that moves gets screwed)
IIEYI= if it EXISTS Yiff it (everything is fucked....so basically someone doing a fan-work involving Puppy from Retarded Animal Babies)

And if it doesn't move/exist, yiff it until it does?

I think Jane Austin beat you to that.

DAMN YOU JANE AUSTEN!

[NateTheChops]

Man I'm jealous. Why can't more people pay me for my writing? All I get are assholes who want to "collaborate". And by collaborate I mean they want me to do all the work so they can get paid for it.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

It's probably the guilt talking. He feels guilty about indulging his fetish even in a harmless way, so if he projects the Kinkness of it onto the WRITER, then HE isn't really the perv getting off of torturing female furries. It's just that the writer has such a twisted mind.

So, let it go. If it got to him that much, you did a good job. He enjoyed it enough to feel guilty enough to want to make you feel guilty. Mission accomplished.

[Hobbs]

I would suggest just not accepting his commissions if he gets so uptight about it.

As a fellow author, I would like to point out that writing something you don't like/get enjoyment out of seems like you're cheating yourself. I mean, kudos if it gets you money, but that's just my two cents.

[ShadowTiger]

I can understand your grief. I think that he really should've been more specific in his desires. Then again, if he wasn't specific in the first place, maybe that's the whole reason why he's asking for a piece to be written up - Because he wants to be surprised. That can be fun too. =o.o=

And if it doesn't move/exist, yiff it until it does?

I actually read this, and immediately thought of me dry-humping the space next to my house, and my house slowly expanding to fill the void until it reaches me. I pat it for a job well done, and go on to fill my house with new things. It would have to do in the case where I do not have a rubber band and a drinking straw. MacGuyver can only do so much, after all.

[ShadedWings]

I actually read this, and immediately thought of me dry-humping the space next to my house, and my house slowly expanding to fill the void until it reaches me. I pat it for a job well done, and go on to fill my house with new things. It would have to do in the case where I do not have a rubber band and a drinking straw. MacGuyver can only do so much, after all.

*giggles* That'll do, house, that'll do! *patpat*

[Javarod]

Giggles, "Small world around here, i'm a writer there too (Woggle), though not much of one, and even less frequent than that, and not for hire since i write what comes to me (which my muse seems to have returned from an extended vacation). Some how, your story just doesn't surprise me, dunno why though."

[Andara Bledin]

Man, I'd love to get into a writing gig.

... of course, then I'd have to actually do more writing...

If the guy's got a streak of autism, it could be that his problem is that what you wrote wasn't what he saw in his head when he asked you for the commission.

And you can do furry fem-torture without it being inherently sexist. For one, you could have the torturers all be female, too. It's a tricky thing, though to be degrading one way, but not another.

^-.-^

[elsporko]

How do you even get into the "writing furry porn for profit" industry?