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The ten dumbest things I get asked at Subway

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  • The ten dumbest things I get asked at Subway

    10. "Can I get a Poutine?"
    Why it's stupid: Because this is Colorado and not Canada.

    9. "Can I get a Big Mac?"
    Why it's stupid: THIS. IS. SUBWAY!!!!!!

    8. "How much is the $5 footlong?"
    Why it's stupid: I don't know, you tell me. Unless you were asking me for the price with sales tax.

    7. "Do you have Pepsi?"
    Why it's stupid: Take one look at the soda fountain...do you see Pepsi? And take one look at the cooler...do you see Pepsi?

    6. "Do you do deliveries?"
    Why it's stupid: Because this is Subway.

    5. "Do you guys take checks?"
    Why it's stupid: There is a sign right in front of you and I have to tell some of these people NUMEROUS times we don't take checks.

    4. "What kinds of sauces/Cheeses/Meats/Breads do you have?"
    why it's stupid: There is a sign right in front of you that says this, there are also a thing called a "Menu". Try reading it!

    3. "Does the $5 footlong deal work on 6-inches?"
    Why it's stupid: Repeat after me...Five dollar FOOTLONG.

    2. "Can I have a meat sandwich?"
    Why it's stupid: How quaint. You have failed to specify what KIND of meat, since there is NOT just one kind of "meat".

    1. "Are you guys open yet?"
    Why it's stupid: Because the gate is up, there are people in line, there are people eating Subway sandwiches, and the lights are on.
    Kangaroo Squee!

  • #2
    Quoth Digitalpotato View Post
    10. "Can I get a Poutine?"
    Why it's stupid: Because this is Colorado and not Canada.
    While the others are certainly facepalm inducing, and I will be billing you for the cost of braincell retrieval, I do need to ask 2 questions.

    1. They have fries at subways in Colorado?

    2. They don't have poutine in Colorado?

    I have a feeling this is gonna be like the whole debacle when I told a friend we had fries at Taco Bell...
    Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

    http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

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    • #3
      Re: #10... Yeah, the Subway here doesn't have fries, much less poutine. Does your Subway have fries?

      Re: #6... The local Subway does, in fact, do deliveries. They don't have their own drivers, though... the customer pays a bit extra to a cab company for the service.
      "Kamala the Ugandan Giant" 1950-2020 • "Bullet" Bob Armstrong 1939-2020 • "Road Warrior Animal" 1960-2020 • "Zeus" Tiny Lister Jr. 1958-2020 • "Hacksaw" Butch Reed 1954-2021 • "New Jack" Jerome Young 1963-2021 • "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff 1949-2021 • "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton 1958-2021 • Daffney 1975-2021

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      • #4
        Quoth Digitalpotato View Post
        8. "How much is the $5 footlong?"
        "For you? $6.50."

        (Surprised that wasn't #1 )
        !
        "For truth is always strange; stranger than fiction." -- Lord Byron

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        • #5
          Quoth Digitalpotato View Post
          10. "Can I get a Poutine?"
          Why it's stupid: Because this is Colorado and not Canada.
          Another Coloradan here. What part are you from?
          To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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          • #6
            10. If you go to a store that sells them, then probably

            6. I can throw it at you it that helps

            5. Do you take verbal abuse?

            4. Those (point from where you're standing, wherever that is)

            2. Yes. (wait silently, staring them straight in the face)

            1. No (go back to serving)
            The customer is always right! Which is a shame, as my gun pulls to the left

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            • #7
              Quoth Mr Hero View Post
              Another Coloradan here. What part are you from?
              Fort collins.


              And no, we don't have fries at Subways in Fort Collins. We have, however, had someone wth an obvious north american accent say "Well where are the chips? no, I meant CHIPS. As in potato fries." probably to make a scene.
              Kangaroo Squee!

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              • #8
                Quoth Digitalpotato View Post
                3. "Does the $5 footlong deal work on 6-inches?"
                Yep, you get two identical 6-inch subs for $5.
                "I can tell her you're all tied up in the projection room." Sunset Boulevard.

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                • #9
                  I had to google "poutine."

                  Looks interesting, but also like a heart attack on a plate.
                  Supporting the idiots charged with protecting your personal information.

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                  • #10
                    Quoth Digitalpotato View Post
                    Fort collins.


                    And no, we don't have fries at Subways in Fort Collins. We have, however, had someone wth an obvious north american accent say "Well where are the chips? no, I meant CHIPS. As in potato fries." probably to make a scene.
                    I'm from Aurora myself. I think the managers of my favorite Subway will be moving up to your part of the state. Not sure when, but I'm gonna miss them. They were cool.
                    To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Digitalpotato View Post
                      6. "Do you do deliveries?"
                      Why it's stupid: Because this is Subway.
                      And if the customer doesn't know what Subway does and doesn't do, it's not a stupid question.
                      Seshat's self-help guide:
                      1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                      2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                      3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                      4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                      "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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                      • #12
                        Quizno's delivers now (at least up here), and there may be some Subways that do deliver. If it's a standalone/minimall location that might not be too strange a question to ask. Inside Mall/Campus locations it'd be a stupid question.

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                        • #13
                          Quoth Digitalpotato View Post
                          1. "Are you guys open yet?"
                          Why it's stupid: Because the gate is up, there are people in line, there are people eating Subway sandwiches, and the lights are on.
                          Ah, you must've gotten this customer. Yep, it's always fun dealing with Captain Oblivious.
                          I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
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                          • #14
                            Quoth Digitalpotato View Post
                            6. "Do you do deliveries?"
                            Why it's stupid: Because this is Subway.
                            Our Subway does deliveries. But you have to pre-order and it has to be above a certain value, but they do deliver.

                            In other news, I've never encountered a Subway that serves fries. Or anything fried at all, really.

                            ^-.-^
                            Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Andara Bledin View Post
                              In other news, I've never encountered a Subway that serves fries. Or anything fried at all, really.

                              ^-.-^

                              Um, bag of chips?

                              But just imagine if Subway did fry stuff: You wanted it toasted or fried?
                              Time! Time! Time is what turns kittens into cats.

                              Don't teach me a lesson; all I learn is that you are an asshole.

                              I wish porn had subtitles.

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