Back in the Olden Days

[Not_a_Miracleworker]

My Very First Job(TM) was working at a local chain grocery store, starting in '99. I worked there for 4 years, and had quite a few suck-filled experiences:

1) Parent FAIL.
We ALL get these. The 'parents' that refuse to take responsibility for their children. This particular shiney-turd had her kid in her arms, and was yakking on a cell. Junior (who looked to be about 2 or 3) was facinated by the shiney, colorful buttons I was pressing (this was back before the LCD touchscreens, it was a keyboard.) and kept REACHING OVER and poking at random buttons, luckily he didn't hit any hard enough to type. The first time he did this I said "no." quietly and went on checking her items through. The SECOND time he did it, I blocked his fingers with my hand and said "no." again. I swear he looked at me like he'd ever heard that word before in his life. He went for it a THIRD time, I blocked his hand again...
ME: Ma'am can you please get your child away from the register?
SC: (Pulls head and cell phone out of ass) Huh? (she FINALLY realizes what her offspring has been doing and LAUGHS)
Me: It's not so funny if your son accidentally erases your whole order, or rings up items you didn't buy. (YES, I did say this, and YES he had been poking at the "refund" buttons, YES it is hyperbole. :P)
SCFinally) I didn't know he was doing that!
ME: Please just move up, away from the register, so I can finish your order for you. (and so you and your child can get the f*ck out of here)

That was pretty much the end of it. Though I would CONSTANTLY have people set their kids on the check writing platform, which is right next to the keyboard, usually, they were just curious and would keep their hands away, but (especially really young kids) inevitably, I'd have to stop checking and barricade my keyboard from *someone's* wandering fingers.... Just a pet peeve.

[Not_a_Miracleworker]

2) SUPERBAG Lady

I understand that some people want extra protection from breaking/tearing bags, and some people need frozen or cold things wrapped up in layers because it's hot out and they've got other places to go. This is fine, I never had any issue with this, untill....
*cue dramatic music* this lady:

I was sacking for another cashier, and a woman pulled up with two carts of groc., and immediately, before she even set anything on the belt:
SBL: I want everything double bagged in plastic, in double paper, in plastic. Keep the cans separate from everything, and no more than 4 in a bag (), keep the meat separate from everything, and sack the frozen vegetables separate from the other things, keep the boxed things in a bag of their own, put the milk in one bag each and DON'T YOU BREAK MY EGGS!

Yes, she yelled the last bit. Other cashier and I were
Would you like fries with that? Or should I just bend over now?
So we got to work, and she watches us like hawks as she unloads the carts (by herself, I actually felt kind of sorry for her, but more on that later) and starts harping at me. "NO! I said don't put more than 4 cans in a bag!" I had assumed she meant per (double) plastic bag, oh no, she meant PER doubleplastic/doublepaper/plastic "bag". So I unsacked everything and put them in separately. But, aparently this still wasn't up to her Ionospheric standards, as she huffed down the register:
SBL: OBVIOUSLY you can't handle this! I'll do it myself! (grabs the box out of my hands)
Ok. Fine. You want to do my job for me? Go right ahead. I attempted to load her things back into the carts, but I was told I couldn't do that right either, so I left her to go clean some registers.
It took almost an hour for them to finish that order, and once she had everything bagged to her specifications, it filled up 5 CARTS. Now back to what I was saying earlier about feeling sorry for her. She was there all by herself, she wasn't exactly a spry individual, so I cut her a break while I and another clerk helped her out to her suburban.
We loaded all the stuff into her truck (again, per her specific, assinine(sp?) instructions), and the other clerk took the carts back. She actually had the decency to appologize for yelling at me, and said her husband would be mad if she came home and they weren't bagged just right. Thinking her 'husband' is an abusive ass? Yeah, me too.

So, all told, she was a pain in the butt, but not quite as sucky as she first appeared.

[rerant]

In reference to the first story this is one of the reasons I am SO glad no one under 18 is allowed in my store. Sadly this doesn't account for mental ages.

[sirwired]

I'm trying to figure out what bag-lady is doing with the bags from all those quintuple-bagged groceries... Quintuple-bagging, AND no more than four cans per bag? The mind boggles.

I know that both paper and plastic grocery bags are useful household items, but that many?

SirWired

[KabeRinnaul]

The only time I see that many bags for those few items is when one of my coworkers makes the mistake of using a regular checkout lane rather than the self checkout for lunch, and then forgets to keep a close eye on the bagger.

It's not unusual to find your soda and sandwich inside six layers of paper bags, each one taped/stickered shut.

Of course, the ones who get the worst multi-bag pranks (and thus spend the largest amount of their break time prying them open) done to them are the other baggers.

[otakuneko]

I don't think I would've had the self-control not to snap back or laugh at bag lady's ridiculous demands. A single plastic bag would suffice for four cans, a double bag'll net you six. Double bagged and then put in not just paper but double paper? Shit, throw the whole mess in there.

And your plastics were big enough you could stick a paper bag in them? Damn, musta been some big plastic bags.

[fireheart]

I'm trying to figure out what bag-lady is doing with the bags from all those quintuple-bagged groceries... Quintuple-bagging, AND no more than four cans per bag? The mind boggles.

I know that both paper and plastic grocery bags are useful household items, but that many?

SirWired

A very rough guess to me is that she's using the company as a free garbage bag supply. We had one lady waaay back before the ban (during the motherfudging trial as well....) want one bag per item. And this wasn't heavy things either. They were your standard canned vegetables, tuna, cat food etc.

[chainedbarista]

either way, she was still a mountain of sucktacular; to act like that and to waste materials that way? no pity at all, regardless of what her homelife may/may not be like.

[blas]

We had stuff to clean our belts with at the grocery store when we had no customers, but even that wasn't enough to convince me to want to put something on there that I cared about and I wasn't about to think that it actually made them clean.

I don't buy clothes at Wal-Mart or stores with conveyer belts very often, if ever, but if I do, I will keep them in the cart or my arms and hand them to the cashier. I don't want that ick and filth on my stuff that I'm going to wear.

I watched a lot of parents try to put their babies on the conveyer belts.....so dirty and gross, just why?!

[Not_a_Miracleworker]

And your plastics were big enough you could stick a paper bag in them? Damn, musta been some big plastic bags.

They were just standard issue plastic, but if you shoved in a folded paper sack and unfolded it inside, it would *just* fit. I never understood the "paper in plastic" thing, as once you had the bag loaded, the handles of the plastic wouldn't reach the top, so you STILL had to use 2 hands to carry it.

I'm very thankful for the recent prevailence of the re-usable cloth bags. Not only do they hold a TON more than the plastic, you get a 5¢ refund for each one you bring in! (at least that's how it works at the chain store of my previous employment.)

In reference to the first story this is one of the reasons I am SO glad no one under 18 is allowed in my store.

However much I may wish it, not everyone has the incredible luck to work at a pron store. I had a cousin that did at one time- said it was the best job he ever had.

[otakuneko]

either way, she was still a mountain of sucktacular; to act like that and to waste materials that way? no pity at all, regardless of what her homelife may/may not be like.

Oh I doubt her husband was the abusive one...