library chat with the young and useless.

[depechemodefan]

Mostly kids use chat to get answers. There are the kids too lazy to do their own homework, there are kids who hit a brickwall while doing their homework and I help them, and then there are the jizzers.

Lola from Kentucky asks:

dmfan: Can I help you?
lola: yes do u kno any way to have sex in puerto rico
dmfan: NO, sorry.
dmfan: any other question?
lola: plez tell me if you know a place with comfy silent beds
dmfan: Any department store can help you with that.

next question from NY
cathy: identify and discuss a political issue that plays a major role in the selections and evaluation of your library - ultra conservative, liberals, or vocal minority group. Explain how these political views and values influence the composition of the collection.
dmfan: Your question is rather invovled. I am not able to give you an answer now but let me or a coworker spend time on this and we will get back to you. Not likely today, but by Monday. Is that ok with you?
cathy: yes, that is fine. Here is my email address...

A nice question, and at least she didn't get pissed because I couldn't answer it right away

[QASlave]

You would actually answer that last question? Wouldn't that basically be writing a term paper for some lazy SOB?

[casey13]

I think if you just name a person, then it wouldn't be too bad. I have no idea where to begin to look at who influences the library catalog.

[blas]

Why didn't anyone tell me that back in school I could just go to the library and chat with someone who could give me all the answers?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

lola: yes do u kno any way to have sex in puerto rico

"The same way one has sex in Kentucky, except you substitute humans for barnyard animals."

I wish I had your job, just so I could give that answer.

cathy: identify and discuss a political issue that plays a major role in the selections and evaluation of your library - ultra conservative, liberals, or vocal minority group. Explain how these political views and values influence the composition of the collection.

I too think that's somebody trying to get the OP to write a paper for her. Is there no public library near her with somebody she could talk to there?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

"The same way one has sex in Kentucky, except you substitute humans for barnyard animals."

I wish I had your job, just so I could give that answer.

Or you could tell her she could either fly or swim to Puerto Rico.

[depechemodefan]

You would actually answer that last question? Wouldn't that basically be writing a term paper for some lazy SOB?

I too think that's somebody trying to get the OP to write a paper for her. Is there no public library near her with somebody she could talk to there?

Eh, I'm passing on the question. She originally entered chat with a NY library, but since they didn't pick up their chat, I was stuck answering it, because we are a co-operative.

Why didn't anyone tell me that back in school I could just go to the library and chat with someone who could give me all the answers?

Shit, one time a kid called with an involved question. Something to do with the life of some type of bird. I told her I couldn't answer her question since it was an involved question and she had to come in to the library. So dad got on the ph. and got mad at me for not answering his kid's question. He couldn't take his kid to the library because he was working. Of course he wasn't listening to me when I explained we were quick reference, I couln't spend the time needed (it's a fucking home work assignment, when did a hw asssignment take less than 5 min?) So the next day he calls to complain to my manager and she said I should have answered the quesiton.

I can juat imagine the dad calling the teacher, "yeah, my daughter coudln't do her homework assignment about the crane bird and it's life cycle, including raising the young, because the librarian wouldn't answer her question. You don't mind giving her an extra day to do it?"

"The same way one has sex in Kentucky, except you substitute humans for barnyard animals."

Unfortunately the chat is reviewed latter on or else I would give the Moe Szyslak treatment.

[mikoyan29]

Why didn't anyone tell me that back in school I could just go to the library and chat with someone who could give me all the answers?

When I was growing up, I never would have even thought of pulling that one.

Anyways, yeah, I can't believe that the OP would even attempt to answer the question, it sounds suspiciously like a term paper question.

[rerant]

That second question sounds waaaaay too much like someone hoping you (or whoever) will do their homework for them.

[EvilEmpryss]

Sooo... these are kids with access to the internet, the ability to type a question well enough to at least have you interpret it, and they don't know how to Google?

Talk about lazy.

Just for kicks, I decided to try it and see how hard it could be. Typed "crane life cycle", got http://209.174.10.73/Wetlands/Crane/...LifeCycle.html. Wow. It was difficult to pick that one out, seeing as it was the fifth one down the page. It's even written by the Illinois State Board of Education, so it's a legit reference for a scholarly work.

I hate to say it, but my next sentence is going to classify as officially O-L-D old: Damn lazy kids.

[depechemodefan]

For the crane question (and I can't remember what type of bird it was, so I picked "crane" at random) was by phone, so I give the kid a break for not having internet; it's just the father was a dick. And the manager was not helpful, for expecting me to answer the question. Even though it was obviously a question a homework assignment. The management here is so afraid of offending anyone (who will go to the mayor and bitch and the mayor will have to talk to someone here) that they won't let us use commonsense to tell people "no". Of course, I'm suppose to have common sense to know who not to bother for breaking minor rules. Because they rather all the homeless people be asleep in the library if that means one homeless person complains about being woken up.

More from Fri. I saved it in my email, but couldn't open it this weekend.

dmfan: Note: Patron's screen name: shaft
shaft: thoughts***
dmfan: Librarian 'Houston PL Jackie' has joined the session.
dmfan: Hi, this is Jackie. I'm part of a national network of librarians that helps to answer questions for your library when they're not available.
dmfan: I need a moment to find the information.
shaft: ???
shaft: ???
shaft: ???
shaft: ???
shaft: ???
shaft: ???
shaft: ???
shaft: ???
shaft: ???
shaft: ???
shaft: ???
shaft: ???
shaft: ???
shaft: ????
shaft: HELP ME NOW PLEASE
shaft: !!!!!!
dmfan: Please wait.
shaft: ok

I don't think this is sucky, just humorous.


Question: Chat Transcript: Hi. My business teaches exotic dance lessons including pole dances and sells adult toys, novelties & lingerie. How can I find out my industry trends, size of industry/growth rate, and my market leaders?
dmfan: Note: Patron's screen name: Patrice Perry
dmfan: Librarian 'Houston PL Jackie' has joined the session.
dmfan: Hi, this is Jackie. I'm part of a national network of librarians that helps to answer questions for your library when they're not available.
question: I do not have a dance studio. This is a mobile service. We go to clients homes.
Houston PL Jackie: Give me a moment to look up the information

[trailerparkmedic]

The management here is so afraid of offending anyone (who will go to the mayor and bitch and the mayor will have to talk to someone here)

Hmmmm... so what happens when someone goes to mayor and complains about the homeless people sleeping all over the library?

*plot plot plot*

Your last story made me laugh though

[Tigress]

Now that we're getting close to Thanksgiving break and the end of the semester, I'm starting to see similar questions on a lot of the cosplay boards.

"Hi, I'm doing a paper on sewing/cosplay. Fill out this survey so I'll have something for my paper, because I can't be bothered to do my own research or actually contact people in the community to get good answers to my questions. kthxbi"

It's gotten obnoxious enough that the mods of said boards will lock down/delete the threads. Usually because these people apparently only register to put up their surveys to get their answers.

Here's an idea, kids: DO YOUR OWN HOMEWORK!

[depechemodefan]

Today's chat questions:

Chat Transcript: I need help with finding a book for my senior project. my topic is cycling, and I'm having a hard time finding a book about the history of cycling.

Most of the books I saw, were not really up to date. I'm looking for one that might be a little more modern.

dmfan: Your subject is the history of cycling.
dmfan: The history shouldn't have changed much.
Wes: My subject is Cycling and why its becoming more and more popular, but Im having trouble finding books on the histroy of cycling
Wes: Ok

I know there are times history does change...You don't want a book on the assassinated Romanovs before 1980. But cycling? I'm pretty sure the history doesn't change.

Question: Chat Transcript: trying to do a project on innovations in the 20th century, any good resources?i need alot


hellokitteh: I need books on 20th cent. innovations. environmental innovations oops
dmfan: Hi, this is Jackie. I'm part of a national network of librarians that helps to answer questions for your library when they're not available.
dmfan: have you checked the catalog already?
hellokitteh: no
dmfan: whic library you go to?
hellokitteh: im not in a library right now but i go to lancaster public library
dmfan: Here's the link to the catalog http://catalog.lancasterlibraries.org/
hellokitteh: thanks...
hellokitteh: Patron ended chat session.
dmfan: type in "innovations".

check the catalog first. That is what it's there for.

Then a bunch of kids from Penn. had questions on mesopotamia. What's the first housing, how did the "palsses" look like, etc.

[depechemodefan]

yesterday's winner on chat:

idiot kid: ik
: me

ik: how many witches were in the beginning of Macbeth?
me: *send a link, 'cause the little turd should at least do a little work in opening a link-and the answer was in the first sentence*
ik: alrite
ik: why was shakespeare lucky to reach teen years when he was growing up
me: because he wasn't dead.
me: People died early back before antibotics.
ik: no i need to know why he wasent dead
ik: like what disease might have he had
me: one moment.
ik: nvm
ik: i go tthe ansewer
ik: why did mary shakespeare die
me: Mary Shakespeare? who was she?
me: His mother?
ik: his wife....
me: Her name was Anne Hathaway.
ik: w/e
ik: your gay
ik: Patron ended chat session.

Mary Shakespeare? bwah.

We get these questions in chat:
What is the library's hours on Sundays?
What are library hours
Um, did you fucking bother to look for that or just clicked on chat so you don't have to read the library's website? Granted, there is no button that says "hours" or on the home page "hours" are listed, but could you bother to look around?

Here's this loser. Another librarian took the question. I just hate how the kid (or adult? I'm assuming kid since it seems like a homework question) is getting snotty.

Patron: Chat Transcript: any way
Librarian 1: hello. This is the reference librarian.
Librarian 1: How may I help you today?
Patron: to answer my question
Librarian 1: What is your question?
Patron: my question is related with bank
Patron: who created the federal reserve bank and why?
Librarian 1: Ok, are you looking for this information in books from your local library, or from online sources?
Patron: i am looking on online sources
Patron: but i didn't find this
Librarian 1: Please tell me where you have already looked so I do not send you something you may have already seen.
Patron: that's why i need your help
Patron: i just search it on google
Patron: i don't know exact website
Librarian 1:Ok, let me start you with this page while I continue searching for more.
Librarian 1: http://www.bos.frb.org/about/pubs/begin.pdf
Librarian 1: Here is another page.
Librarian 1: http://www.frbsf.org/publications/fe...f/central.html
Patron: i just ask you who created the federal reserve bank
Patron: ?
Librarian 1: Here is one more page where you will find the answer to your questions.
Librarian 1: http://www.minneapolisfed.org/about/...ory/system.cfm
Patron: i could not find in this book
Librarian 1: The first sentence on the page I just sent you says this:
Librarian 1: "The Federal Reserve System is the central bank of the United States. Congress created the Federal Reserve through a law passed in 1913"
Patron: (GMT-6) thank you so much
Librarian 1: You should be able to find more information about why the Federal Reserve was created.
Librarian 1: Please feel free to contact us again if you have any additional questions.
Patron: i understand this
Librarian 1:
18:18:17 2009/11/05 (GMT-6) Librarian ended chat session.